Diagnosis of metastatic breast cancer to the lungs, liver and bone!

so sorry to hear about your mum , has she told her team about the pain  ? they can`t help if they don`t know , and they want to help symptoms as well as giving treatment

Are her taste buds affected  ? small amounts of calorie dense food throughout the day should help a bit , and getting enough calories and protein should help prevent sepsis

of course you are angry , this is a cruel disease , but you have found the right place for support , there is a forum for relatives too …..

it is good the blood  results are encouraging …..

many of us on here are living with secondary spread ( not " dying " yet ) , but is important side effects are adequately managed , it is still early for you , best wishes ….me   x

Hi

Sorry that you have to find us here because of your Mum.  It just doesn't feel fair does it? No wonder you are angry.

has mentioned the family and friends group for you to get support- here's the link to it. 

There is also a secondary breast cancer group which might help having a look through as there may be posts on here which can help.  (or you can ask the ladies on there any questions you might think of for your Mum). 

If you think of any specific medical questions, then there is also the Ask the expert section of this website (does take a couple of days for a reply). Or alternatively you can ring the helpline (below) for support.

I don't have secondaries, so my apologies that I can't help other than this.

Kindest wishes to you,

Hi

Sorry to hear that your Mum has been diagnosed with secondaries. I also have secondaries in lungs, bone and more recently, brain. I'm further down the journey than your Mum as I've recently stopped long term chemos. 

As says - small amounts of energy dense foods might help - cream/full fat milk, butter rather than low fat spread etc. It might be that your Mum's pain is affecting her appetite as well as the chemo, so please speak to her team asap to see if she can get that under control. It might also be that she could be referred to a dietician  - she might need high calorie drinks etc to keep weight on. There is a specific forum on here for asking a dietician questions, but I don't know how to link to it! 

As for the anger - perfectly natural reaction, and I think it's often more difficult for relatives and friends to cope with what is going on re: diagnosis and treatment as they are helpless to ease any pain or symptoms in their loved ones, whereas the person going through it just has to get their forward looking specs on and plough through it! You've been given some links to other forums that might be useful, so don't hesitate to use them. 

Wishing you and your Mum all the very best, hugs to you both! 

Hi Cathy,

Thank you for your lovely message.

I am so sorry to hear you have secondaries in the lungs, bone and brain. Sending you lots of hugs back.

Seeing how ill mum has been because of the chemo makes me think it wont be long before she refuses to carry on with it.

She has been drinking a lot of fluids and she has had a few of those milkshakes the doctors prescribe but every time she tries to eat anything, she is sick and keeps having to use the toilet.

Her consultant says it is normal for people not to eat much whilst undergoing chemo. To be honest they don't seem too concerned about it.

Mum is on her fifth chemo and appears to be in less pain up until the week before the next round. If she stops the chemo after the sixth session, I worry the pain will just return. She is becoming more hunched, is out of breath all the time and has to walk with a walking aid.

This week has been hard because the reality of it all has only just hit her. I always new she was in a bit of denial when she was first diagnosed but she has been crying a lot lately and feels extremely low. She said something like 'I'm never going to be cured am I' and I thought well you were told it isn't curable. It breaks my heart to think she wont see my niece grow up and do all of the amazing things she wanted to do at retirement.

I remind myself that life isn't always fair and there are always others in this world that are much worse off than us.

May I ask you more about your journey?

Love Kaylee xxx

Hi Puzzler,

Thank you for your kind words.

Her taste buds and sense of smell have both been affected. She has been drinking a lot of fluids and she has had a few of those milkshakes the doctors prescribe but every time she tries to eat anything, she is sick and keeps having to use the toilet.

Her consultant says it is normal for people not to eat much whilst undergoing chemo. To be honest they don't seem too concerned about it.

I have so many questions to ask, I want the consultant to tell me how long my mum has but I know that they can't truly know. She hasn't been coping very well lately as she doesn't think she can carry on with the chemo and it has just hit her that she isn't ever going to get any better.

Is it ok to ask about other peoples stories on here?

Reading about others journeys is in itself upsetting but to know we are not on our own helps.

All the best, Kaylee xxx

Thank you Lesley, the information and links you have provided are very helpful, I will have a look now.

Kaylee xx

Hi Kaylee

Yes, of course you can ask me more - either on here, on via private message (I think you'll have to request me to be a friend) if you don't wish to put something in the public realm! 

You can read my profile (if you make it to the end, congratulations...) by clicking on my name.

Your Mum may be able to access some counselling via your unit or local MacMillan centre - she might benefit from it in order to come to terms with her diagnosis and prognosis.