So drained by breast cancer

FormerMember
FormerMember
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Breast cancer has been in my life waaaayy too much. I'm so wore out. I'm 44 and this is the second time I've had breast cancer. The cancer came back. The second time I've had to go through months of chemo. The second time I've had to go through a year of herceptin. The second time I'm embarking on 5 years of daily tamoxifen (which is causing terrible side effects this time around). There has also been other treatments and drugs here and there, and a lumpectomy, a mastectomy, reconstruction ... I'm so wore out, physically, emotionally and mentally. I'm finished with chemo, had the mastectomy but I'm still getting herceptin and recovering from it all.

But I'm hitting a wall. I'm exhausted, I'm so exhausted and tired and emotional and isolated and lonely (I live on my own). It's so difficult. And I don't feel like I'm getting the support I need from the hospital, they only seem interested in the physical illness and not the far reaching effects of it.

Does anyone else find this to be the case for them? 

  • Hi

    Sorry you are feeling so low , and I think it is perfectly understandable - Do you have much in the way of a support network ? Also have you contacted any of your local cancer charities ? They can be a huge source of help and support - whereabouts do you live ? There may be some ladies on this site who live in your area who may meet up or know of local supper groups ? Breastcancercarenow run moving forward courses , have you been on one of those ? This is the link to their site

    breastcancernow.org/find-events-near-you

    I know the mental health awareness around all types of cancer after treatment is finished is on the roadmap for many health authorities and Macmillan but putting this all in place will take time and I am not sure what the timescales are for this ? 

    In the meantime just take a bit of time to look after and pamper yourself , 

    Jo xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to jowoomot

    Hello Deborahdaisy

    It is hard isn`t it ? I know we are told not to " google " , but you could look up Peter Harvey on line , he really understands the emotional effects of cancer .

    Also , I was told chemo can affect your stamina ,even 2 years after treatment ends …

    Are you eating well ? I walk outside every day , exercise can help your mental health . I used to do 5 miles , but 3 is my limit now …..have you good friends who really understand ? I live alone too , but do something every day outside the house , I joined everything ……

    Really sending you good wishes , keep posting , there is a helpine too …..me  x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi

    I happen to have the Dr Peter Harvey paper mentions.

    I'll place it below so you can have a read through it at your leisure.

    https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cfs-file/__key/communityserver-discussions-components-files/38/7317.after-the-treatment-finishes_2D00_then-what.pdf

    It helped us get our heads around the barrage of treatments and the baggage it leaves in it's wake, hopefully it can help you as well.

    Take care, G n' J

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to jowoomot

    Thank you Jo. 

    Yes, I'm lucky enough to live relatively close to a Maggie's centre. I have went there in the past, quite regularly after my diagnosis and they have been a great help and support. 

    It's been the living on my own part that's been so hard, and unfortunately its the thing I can't do anything about. Going through all of this without someone else to chat to about it when I close the door at night is so isolating. I have called the mcmillan support line and they have been a great help. But the impact of cancer on my life has been so massive, it's impacted me so much. The affects are so complex that it's like dealing with trauma, like ptsd. 

    Unfortunately I'm not at the stage where I'm moving on from cancer yet, I'll be getting herceptin every 3 weeks until the summer. I was diagnosed again in May last year.

    Thank you so much for your response, it's so warming to know that there are people out there who understand. It really helps 

    Xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Thank you so much, I appreciate your support. Yes, I think that getting out every day is good advice and I need to take it. 

    I also used to walk, but I'm in no way up to it now. A little bit every day is where I need to start. The chemo caused nerve and cartilage damage so I'm in a lot of pain. Not having the same physical ability is one of the things that has really impacted me. 

    It's so good to know that you overcame that and you are now walking and adjusting your limits! That's inspiring and I'm happy you shared that.

    Unfortunately I don't have any support from friends at the moment. One of my friends is ill also and the other is dealing with cancer in her own family, neither are available and I understand this and don't want to put more on them. I'm happy to have support here :)

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Thank you, I will look this up through the link, thanks for sharing this! :)