I’m just pathetic!

You are not pathetic at all. I would have been upset by that. Anyone would. Loosing our hair is very emotional. xxx

ruthie2.....Of course you're not pathetic.  .....and why are you mortified? It's  the lady who should be mortified.  Surely one doesn't make assumptions about people without looking at them. Just because your hair is short and you're tall. I hope the lady apologised. If she didn't it would be very rude. My hairdressers has short layered cuts on posters all over the walls. They must be popular or else they wouldn't be there. And there are a lot of tall people. I know that because I'm only 5ft tall. I look up all the time! So it's nonsense to suggest she wouldn't have recognised you were a women if she'd actually looked. 

You're not pathetic going out to enjoy yourself . It is strange you should comment on this point though and how distressed it made you feel because since I had cancer I have chosen to wear a lot of dresses  which I never did. Knitted winter ones with thick tights and loose summer cotton ones. A friend asked me why I'd changed my style. I think, I said, I just wanted to feel feminine after all the prodding, bruising and aches. I hadn't even realised I'd done it but I 'm still choosing a knitted frock over trousers.

I hope you can allow yourself to forget this incident. Maybe you should go out again tomorrow because you don't want to get so anxious you can't  go out.

But you are certainly not pathetic.....you've bravely tackled an illness which is debilitating and from which we are never free even once it's been removed. Never compare yourself to anyone else either. Whatever treatment we are diagnosed.....whatever reactions we have to it....however successful or not our recovery is.....we are equal in this fight. It's a battle against a disease which would consume us if we let it and we're not. Each in our own way.....no right reaction, no wrong., on our own or with the support of an understanding group.....we are going to win. 

I hope you will feel better before you go to bed and get some sleep.

Talking of sleep ....I'd better switch off. I've a sunday children's group to run at church in the morning and it's  half past midnight here already.

Take care ruthie2.

love Karen

.

.

Ruthie2

Your not pathetic, I would have felt the same. Be kind to yourself

Sweet dreams 

Hi ruthie2 .... you’re certainly not pathetic .. Some people just don’t look before they open their mouths. Would like to think she corrected her mistake and if not that she at least felt mortified at her comment. 

Be kind to yourself, you’re going through a lot and it’s not easy. 

Hugs xx

Thanks so much for giving me some perspective back. I suppose I’m more touchy than I realise these days. I suppose I could wear make up but I don’t or rather didn’t before so why should I now?!
we’d nipped in as I’d just been to the emergency eye clinic having been referred last Wednesday at a routine eye test. Everything was fine and normal so I was well chuffed for once! 
anyway I think the young lady needed an eye test!

still shook me though, that’s something to tell my counsellor next week. 
thanks again xxxxx

Hi Ruthie

I have always had short hair. Recently I was ordering coffee in a cafe and the chap serving said to me ‘yes sir?’ Then he looked at me (properly) and apologised! This isn’t the first time it’s happened. I never wear make up and always wear trousers. I think sometimes people just don’t look properly, if that lady had spoken to you and looked at your lovely face she would have realised.

I hope you are feeling better about it now.

Hi Ruthie

I never go out without make up. I worked on cosmetics when I left college. On Thursday I had a very bad day. I made a big decision and by the time I got to the opticians I looked like " nowt on earth". However I was ready to fight back so when I spotted the bright red frames I knew I'd got to have them. God only now's what they'll look like.

I'm like Karen too in that I keep looking at not dresses but super flashy bras and underwear cos I want to feel feminine. Then I think don't be ridiculous who sees it and it's bloody uncomfortable.

How you feel today is cos BC robs us of our confidence. But we need to fight back in whatever way suits us. Mine will be red frames, Karen's is wooly dresses. So what are you going to do.?

I never wear make up and no ruthie2 you are far as in light years far from pathetic.

People do not think before they speak especially if they've  made no attempt to walk in your shoes. My specific bete noir was "oh you've  just had a lumpectomy"

I have had pink highlights in my hair since I was 70 to drag the eye away  from my non made up face. Make up would be cheaper. Xx

No way are you pathetic, it hurts when people make personal comments and you never forget.

These days you can look how you want and gender is irrelevant. Health and feeling well is what matters. 

All my 30s and 40s and up to having B.C. I had my hair dyed cut and styled every six weeks and now I think balls to it and i haven't dyed it for 4 years and haven't had it cut for a year. It's all Letrozole frizz and grey and i don't give a rats ass xxx

You're fine and lovely just the way you are  xxx

You are not pathetic, but amazingly brave and strong. It is hard to face the world sometimes, feel empowered that you did so xxxx