Depression during treatment

I feel for you. Depression is a cruel beast, and I understand what you say about medication: it's powerful stuff and we don't accept it lightly. In my own case, I really wanted to avoid it and 'sort myself out' by other means - but a short period of medication certainly helped me get on the right track.

Another thing that helped was realising that I felt guilty and ashamed of being depressed; and as soon as I stopped telling myself "You shouldn't be feeling like this" and  acknowledged that it was not through weakness, but a natural result of all that was happening to me, i.e. not my fault, I found it easier to think " This will pass in time".

I wish you well. 

I’ve so been there! The great chemo cloud of doom and gloom descends and wouldn’t shift! God it’s bloody hard, I’d rather have physical side effects any day instead of thinking I’m slowly going round the bend, no enjoyment whatsoever, nothing, just greyness.

i was told it was probably the steroids so off my own bat I stopped taking them but it didn’t work, I have no support other than hubby too, no breast nurse, nowt. My gp is useless, 

id be nervous about taking yet more meds but that’s just me they do work wonders for others.

i did self refer to minds matter in the nhs and they have been amazingly swift, I found it on the patient access app, I’ve started counselling and I find it hard going but I think it will give me the tools to sort myself out. I finished chemo 4 weeks ago and I do feel better but nothing like myself, I know we should be kind to ourselves but I just want to get back to normal and therein lies my problem! 

id still go to the appointment tho, you never know where it will lead. You are not alone in feeling like this although it seems like it 

much love and hugs xxx

Thank you so much for your reply.  I really appreciate it.  I’m definitely considering the medication, as feeling like this for the foreseeable future would be horrible.  Thanks, again.

Warmest regards 

Thanks so much for your lovely reply, Ruthie.  I’m so sorry to hear that your going through this rotten roller coaster of emotions too.  It’s so hard.  And I know exactly what you mean about the greyness.  I just feel flat with no enthusiasm and a whole bunch of anxiety and worry constantly nagging at me.  

Well done on finishing your chemo! That’s brilliant.  It’s so hard getting through this with such a small support system.  Thank goodness for online communities like this.

I will defo keep my appointment to chat with someone about all of this and see how it goes.  Like you, I really don’t want to take any more meds.

Thanks again for your reply.  I really appreciate it.

Sending big hugs to you xxx 

Hi Bevoir

I had depression before the BC. The colour was black in my head. Like thick black velvet. Doc prescribed fluxitine. He told me it would take a few days to kick in. 

I was driving home from somewhere, no idea where can't remember. I became aware that the black was no longer solid but had shades and patches of light. I know it sounds odd and  in a way fantastic in the unrealistic way but that was what it was like. It was a physical thing. 

Not everyone has such a response. People often say " I don't like taking tablets" and to be honest I agree to some extent. But if I have a headache I take something for it. I'm sure many of the people who are on chemo would rather not take the medication, but what is the alternative.

There is light you just need to find it.

Hi Silverberg 

Thank you so much for your reply.  I’m glad that you were able to find some relief from your depression.  I hope I can do the same.  I’m just anxious about taking an antidepressant as I had a bad experience with anxiety meds about 10 years ago now.  But I want to feel better.  I’ll have a chat with the doc next week and see how it goes.

Thanks again,

B