Just diagnosed yesterday - Breast Cancer

Hi K

Am so sorry to hear your news. The time following diagnosis is like a roller-coaster ride. Try to give yourself time and ask lots of questions. 

I had a mastectomy and reconstruction 2 years ago and life is pretty much back to normal. It seems a long road but it is doable. 

Only you know your son but I would give him some information but just enough for him to cope with. Have you got any support from family and friends?

Post any worries on this site I know I always got good support

Hi there

I'm sorry for the reason that you have found your way on to this board but glad that you have.  The amazing thing that this forum gave me when I was going through my diagnosis and treatment was connection with other people in the same boat.  I was diagnosed in December 2017 and treatment followed very quickly.  It doesn't give you much time to get your head around it and all the tests etc at this stage are confusing.  It's a bit easier once treatment is underway.  Just take everything a step at a time, come on here if there is anything you are unsure about, lean on your breast care nurses, and it may be hard to believe now, but you will get through it. 

I was diagnosed in December 17, had chemo before surgery (lumpectomy and full node removal) and radiotherapy.  My son was 11 at the time.  We started by asking him what he knew, or thought he knew, about cancer.  So we could then correct any misapprehensions that he had.  We told him that the treatment was going to make me very poorly, not the cancer, but that it was harsh to kill the cancer and get me better.  We also told his school who were a great support and he was allowed to leave the classroom if he needed to at any point, and to talk to his teacher or the head.  Although he was worried for me - and you have to let them have their feelings - he was a lovely support too.  I tried to keep his routine as normal as I could and always tried to do the school run and get his tea at a minimum. 

I'm sure others who have had mastectomies can give you some advice about that.  But just wanted to reassure you that there is an end in sight and support there if you need it.  Does your area have a Maggie's or a Haven?  They're very good too with lovely staff and lots of courses etc.

All the best,

Linda xx

Hiya and firstly so sorry that you find yourself here but believe me the support here is amazing and you are going to need it on this horrid rollercoaster.

Secondly, breathe, give yourself time to feel sad, scared, angry and more and then reach out to as many people as you can who can support you through this.  Talk to your breast care team, mine were great. Also there is a huge support team ready and waiting to offer help with everything from MacMillan to Breast Cancer Haven and more.  There's even advice about how to tell loved ones and children.

Having a reconstruction is a very personal choice, I chose not to have one as I am 57, my children are in their 30's and I have a partner.  I had my mastectomy on 10th May, I'm ok with how I look now, actually quite proud of my scar and managing quite well with my new silicone falsy which fits quite nicely within post surgery bras with pockets.  I'm even having fun finding interesting coverings for my sudden lack of cleavage, however that is something to think about (assuming you are a much younger lady) as having a cleavage does definitely help when choosing clothes, especially swimwear etc. At my age it was probably a timely reminder that I should be covering up.

I have to confess I didn't think about the cleavage issue and for me I went for the without reconstruction option to just get the job done as quickly as possible, I don't think I would have altered my choice had I thought about it but if I were younger then I might well have opted for reconstruction.  And don't forget, you can also opt for a not doing it now but having a reconstruction later when you've dealt with this and you fit and well again.

This is a nasty disease but we can and will beat it.

Take care and lots of virtual hugs

XOXO

Hi there, 

A lot of women wait until they have a treatment plan (which could change based on the results of the mastectomy and clearance) and dates for surgery before telling their children.  There are fewer unknowns and you will know better how to approach it. My daughters are teenagers,  and they were told less than a week before surgery that I had a small lump but I'd decided on a mastecomy. 

I had a mastectomy and sentinel nodes removed in one operation, which without reconstruction is a 2-3 hour operation.. it's  3 hours+ for an implant, and about 8 hours for reconstruction using your own tissue taken from your tummy or back usually. 

I am having delayed reconstruction by choice,  as I wanted to deal with the cancer first and also lose a bit of weight. I'll speak to my best surgeon about it at the one year check up. It didn't really hurt afterwards,  which I found odd! I had a level III clearance of ther nodes in my armpit six weeks later (the oncologist had to request certain tests when the are nodes affected) and I had a nuclear bone scan,  chest and torso CT scans and an MRI scan.  The clearance is MUCH worse than the mastectomy due to issues like cording  and being on the lookout for lymphodema. You'll have to do lots of exercises afterwards to regain movement in that arm,  and need to avoid any real lifting or repetitive movement for a couple of months. 

As it's in your nodes you'll also be given chemo. This will make you unwell for the first week or more,  so it would be a good time in your life to ask for help from friends/ family. Did they say what kind of cancer it was? (ER+/-, HER2+/-, Triple negative etc.? Depending on the type you'll also be given different drugs. 

Everyone is terrified at ther beginning,  but as you learn about your cancer and it move through treatment it general becomes easier to deal with, but it really is a roller coaster ride!

Hi KC1978

This will be a shock to you, but you will get a lot of love and support from this website. 

You should speak to your breast care nurse about how you feel.  Mine was very good. I rang many times and spoke to her about all sorts of worries and little questions, its very helpful. If she wasn't around there was always someone to speak to. 

I had a right side mastectomy in January of this year and I know it was the right thing for me to do. I had a implant so that I was not left flat. Full construction can be done at a later date if I so wish. I had no spread to by lymph notes and they removed all the cancer in the mastectomy so I did not need any chemo or radiotherapy. I am on tablets for next 10 years. 

There are many groups out there that will offer support to you. I am going to a group tomorrow called BRAs which is a Breast Reconstruction Awareness group. So it will be good to speak to women who have had the reconstruction done and what they look like. 

For me the main thing was to get rid of the cancer and then decide on everything else. 

Please feel free to ask as many question as you like and I hope this helps you in some way. 

regards
El