My fault.

From what I understand, many bc’s are from no definitive known cause. I took HRT for some years, that probably explained why I had a greater potential for getting bc. I’m overweight too, but it’s weight I, too, have found it impossible to shift without starving myself.

there’s little or no point in beating yourself over the head with the possible cause, please just focus instead on getting rid of it!

hugs xxx

Hi Boobylou

please don’t concern yourself with this . Sure we all know we would be better slim , I’m a 14/16 and termed obese ! One of the first things I did after my diagnosis was to join this group and the first post was from a very healthy , super fit , and vegan - her family were in shock as on paper she was the prime example of someone who took care of themselves , never drinking etc . Yet she too had breast cancer. I immediately felt reassured that it was “not my fault” ! Although as a woman I think we can blame ourselves for everything that goes wrong within our families. 

We are also products of our upbringing, I also remember taking my sons into the Scottish glens to enjoy the fresh air and open spaces - the next day I learned that this was the day the fall out from Chernobyl passed over Scotland !!! If they are I’ll in the future would they blame me for this - no. 

We are human , we do our best . We can learn , we can change but only if it makes us happy - moderation is the name of the game . 

We can’t go through life saying “if only” ! If anyone dares to say anything to you just say - hind sight is a wonderful thing ! In the 40s and 50s smoking was encouraged !!! Now look what we know . 

I am watching my weight - remembering that when I was first seen by my plastic surgeon I was told I had the “ perfect body”  ( maybe for spare parts !!) but chemo has left me with arthritis and weight and fitness can make difference . 

So fight the fight and live life to the fullest and BE HAPPY. 

Next week it could be if your thin you are at risk of something else ! 

Just be sensible after all we know how precious life is and we want to love it . 

Take care 

love 

Ruby Rose  

Hi all...

Siiiiigh...we can understand the intention of the latest awareness campaign re obesity.. but just prior to this there were discussions on this site about the lists of  'causes' and 'risk factors' that appear from time to time and blame culture.

If you step in dog poo do you really need to be told 'don't step in it' or 'you should have watched where you were stepping' or ' if you step in it you can get covered in poo' ?

I think most people know all that! There may have been very good reasons that meant addressing obesity couldn't be top of our agenda, there may be no obvious or easy ways to address it and even if we had or hadn't needed to, cancer may have occurred anyway. Yes...even those who miss all the wonderful sights in life because they are constantly scanning the ground for dog poo can STILL step in it! 

Is that enough poo?

Take care

That kind of blame reporting gets on my nerves. We seem to live in a 'blame' culture, which is often inaccurate and always very sad. 

I'm skinny, I rarely drink, don't smoke, I'm fit and healthy, I breast fed my kids, I have a good diet, haven't eaten meat for 30 years etc etc But guess what? I still got breast cancer. And I've met lots of women like me, who also got breast cancer and I've met lots of women who have spent their lives drinking, smoking, eating whatever the hell they wanted and they also got breast cancer.

When I was diagnosed I asked my breast care nurse 'what happened? why did this happen to me?' and she shrugged and said 'because you're a woman' 

This is NOT your fault - you either get breast cancer or you don't. It's as simple and arbitrary as that. 

Take care xxx

We certainly can’t change the past but these lifestyle links show us how to reduce our risk of recurrence.  For me it’s helpful to know what I can do to avoid this happening again - surely we all want that?!

None of the risk factors are definitive - just like everyone knows an elderly relative who smokes 40 a day with a bottle of whisky!

I try not to regret the past and hope that my family will benefit if I keep myself healthy in the future.

I tend not to take any notice in what the media say.   One minute they say butter is bad for you then it's ok...don't drink red wine then it's not harmful, do this, don't do that!  They have to fill their pages with something, it's as if they think " what can we scare people with today, I know, we haven't frightened them for sometime, so we'll have a go at cancer".    I have never smoked, only had the odd glass of wine, always eaten fruit and veg,  always maintained my weight, I'm a size 16 but at the age of 75 I was diagnosed with BC.  I have not changed my life  style.  I believe it's written in the stars, what will be will be.  I still enjoy life and I'm  proud to be a woman.  I think We are definitely the stronger sex.

Love and hugs to you all

Thank you for your replies it has helped a lot. I am 74 size 18 going to try to get to 16 for my Grandaughters wedding. Thanks you lovely ladies.

Hello there Boobylou,

I posted this on a thread a few days ago. I hope you get a minute to read it......

https://hub.jhu.edu/2017/03/23/interview-random-dna-mutations-cause-cancer/

Briefly: This Johns Hopkins University article says:

'We found that 66 percent of the total mutations are caused by random DNA copy errors, 29 percent are caused by environmental or lifestyle factors, and the remaining 5 percent are hereditary.'

71% or 2+ out of 3 ladies! Whenever you are scratching your head, please remember that, (66% + 5) = 71%!!! (as Carolyn28 rightly pointed out - you can't choose your genetics)

It also says:

'Many people will develop cancer no matter how perfect their behaviors are because of random copying errors. These people should not feel guilty about getting cancer—there is nothing they could have done to avoid it.'

Love to you  x

100% agree

cancer is not your fault

I know my husband REALLY struggled with these news reports and definitely blames me, he's scared I'll die and leave him to fend for himself . Also his woman friend doesn't want to take him on and she's as useless as he is if not worse.

Even smoking, widely known to be a higher risk activity doesn't absolutely guarantee you'll get lung cancer, does it.

https://prostatecanceruk.org/prostate-information/about-prostate-cancer/prostate-cancer-symptoms

for a minute pretend you are a man facing a prostate cancer diagnosis and read up on that site and then tell me whether you think it's your fault ?

we're 'sold' cancer differently as women

generally speaking, if the government issues guidelines, they will be for general public health and generally speaking it makes sense to keep the population healthy and therefore the cost of looking after them down by suggesting they eat well, exercise and drink in moderation

it's not your fault

Hugs

Carolyn

xxxxx

No one should feel guilty about getting cancer.  But we do . . .  It is part of the emotional hell we go through.  I try not to dwell on it but in the dark times . . .