Should I have a mastectomy?

hi

welcome to the online community and the breast group, sorry you've had to come and find us

It's all such a shock isn't it

This is going to have to be what's right for you and your family will need to accept it.

My husband was always funny about my hair and wanted me to use the cold cap through chemo but since he didn't come with me to appointments or the chemo sessions I just told him they didn't have a cold cap spare at the time, and he just accepted that.

I think there is an element of trying to find a way of controlling,  or being in control of,  an uncontrollable situation .

I have a feeling the statistics tell us that a lumpectomy doesn't make a great deal of difference to a mastectomy over the 5 and 10 years they look at but if you struggle with surgery and anaesthetic and you rightly say that although you could have another go at getting clear margins they might still fall short of that and you don't want to be going round and round then mastectomy makes sense, there's still a risk they might not get the clear margins but less so.

hugs

Carolyn

xxx

I think the decision is entirely yours, and yours alone, but it would help at this awful time to have as much info as possible to make the decision. What kind of cancer is it? ER+/-, PR+/-, HER2+/-, Triple Negative? What grade and size of tumour/s, what size of breast do you have, would you want immediate reconstruction, delayed reconstruction or to stay flat if you did have a mastectomy? Are your nodes affected?

Some here have tried again after no clear margins and been happy with sucessful results, and others wished for a mastectomy and eventually ended up with one, sometimes after failed second attempts. I personally wanted to get everything out the breast so went for mastectomy with a delayed reconstruction as I didn't want to delay other treatments whilst it healed (and then had weeks of tests due to a positive sentinel node before moving on, but that's just how it goes!)

Could you ask to speak to your surgeon or oncologist before you make your mind up? It might be helpful, but bear in mind that they are coming from different knowledge bases and beliefs. I went in wanting a mastectomy, my first surgeon thought a lumpectomy a good idea and couldn't operate for 2-3 weeks so I was lucky to be referred to another team member who I met the afternoon before surgery and he agreed with the mastectomy. My oncologist also agreed with the mastectomy....though I'm sure that both options would have been safe, I just wanted what my surgeon calls 'optimal control'!

Good luck with whatever you decide:)

Hi Shorty19 I too am a newbie having only joined yesterday . I too had to make decision . I agree that only you can make that decision but to do that you need as much info as possible as someone else said the size removed versus breast size is important .your age is also a factor . My story is recall from mammogram two weeks ago biopsy results last week .Told that size was 50mm so mammogram but boob cup G so space for lumpectomy . There was disagreement over a second area if this was clear of change it would bring it down to 30mm . So second biopsy done . Told yesterday changes so I have decided that at my age 70 and the size of incision for lumpectomy ,I would have masectomy rather than possibly face this at later date .told surgeon today and am having op on Thursday . I know the processof trying to make decision is horrendous but there is only you that should make it . I have not asked or been given husband opinion but I have used family as sounding board . It is a start on taking control it won't  change the care you receive . All I can say is after making my decision yesterday I was able to go to surgeon today and speak very firmly about MY decision. He didn't  ask that dreaded question was I was sure ? Then attend pre op assessment  all without a tear .

Think I might run a bath now and have  a good howl ! 

Hope all goes well for you xx

hi Northerner

a warm welcome to you also, not that we  like seeing new members

have they offered you a reduction on the good side or will you deal with being uneven when they've sorted out the affected boob?

I had a 65mm affected area and with only a C cup to play with it would have been a challenge to make me look half decent, so I had mastectomy with immediate implant reconstruction. 

Hugs

Carolyn

xxx

Hi Carolyn28

Wow  ! that is a big area and with the info I was given it certainly would have been difficult to manage from a surgery point of view . Glad things were sorted for you and you're pleased with results ?

In answer to your question for me it's less than a week since diagnosis no lump as such but an area of calcification .Even the surgeon can't feel anything . Biopsy proved positive . Taken since last weds to get my head around it and make decision had said last week only want one op get rid not bothered bout reconstruction at my age. Today after telling him masectomy he has said they will do reduction on other side , I made joke about not falling over . He has said for health reasons ,back etc best to do .

Asked my daughter later was I just offered a reduction after all these years moaning bout size she said  thinks  I was told ! 

I do feel a lot better now I'm back in control  ...op on Thursday 8 days after diagnosis what a week ! Never have liked roller coasters .

thanks for hugs 

take care xoxo

Hi welcome and sorry that you find yourself here but it's a great place for help and support.

I was given the option of lumpectomy or mastectomy with or without reconstruction.  I went for mastectomy with no reconstruction as I just wanted it removed as soon as possible and reconstruction would have delayed things further so a plain mastectomy for me.  I also struggled with low oxygen levels after op but a night of nurses getting me to breath deeply seemed to do the trick.  As others have said it can only be your decision and it's not an easy one to make.  They can do so much these days to make the process the best it can be and with reconstruction or not, no one but you and close family will ever know whether or not you have 2, 1 and a half, 1 or no boobs at all, unless you want them too.

Hi Northerner welcome, sorry that you're on this forum but you've found a great place to chat with peeps in the same boat as you. Glad to hear you are happy with your choice, it is quite liberating. It's the same choice I made and as it turned out it was the only outcome in the end.  I'm only a C cup but my affected area turned out to be an eye watering 117mm (no that is not a typo) and all that in 2 months from 3 doctors not feeling a lump at all so be glad that they are moving nice and quickly.

Hugs and best wishes to everyone

XOXO

Hi Justtheone

Although we'd all rather not be here in the two days Since I joined I have learnt this certainly is the right place to be able to speak ,laugh or cry .everyone has been so welcoming and friendly . Things are so much clearer when you can add peoples experiences to all the medical info .

You are so right making the decision is so liberating . Poor surgeon just sat there whilst I said " done made decision do not ask me if I'm sure . I may cry later but I'm not crying now so let's get on with it 

117mm !! there was me thinking 50mm was large .It must have been such a shock . Can't believe the speed this has moved 8 days but so glad that after Thursday I can get on and move forward to next step whatever it is . The scary thing for you and myself is the fact it couldn't be felt mine looks like polka dots on mammogram ultra sound couldn't find it either . I'm now busy making sure friends and anyone who'll listen realise it's not only  about lumps .

love hugs to everyone 

xoxo

Northerner me too.  I always assumed that you had to have a lump but it's not so. The worrying thing for me is that all 3 doctors I saw at the beginning were of the same view and it took results of a biopsy and mammogram to change things.  

It was very scary, especially how quickly it grew.

I had my op on 10th May so 7 weeks on and feeling good about my body, getting fitted for a silicone falsy on Thurs which should be good.  The softie you get after the op is good but too light and rides up.  Really proud of myself as I've made a couple of shopping trips as a Unitit, that in itself is very liberating.

Started 1st round of chemo today, going ok, sick once this evening but all doable so far.  Like having the mastectomy, each dose of chemo is ridding me of this beast.

Good luck for Thurs, it really is surprisingly ok, little pain, more discomfort.

XOXO

 Justtheone

thanks for the reassurance , so 7 weeks down the road and feeling good that means I'll have to behave and follow your example

Still feeling quite positive this morning . Proud that I went shopping after been given two softies at hospital yesterday and was measured then bought masectomy bra . Then came home and didn't touch them . Lol 

This morning after what is becoming the usual routine of early rise with the sun and considering wether to be sick then or wait . Bloody stress ! I have now tried bra on with clothing...  looks fine , showed hubby softies . Nurse did warn me about them moving around and told me to use safety pin to bra .

Well done for the unitit shopping trips ...my cup is F ( hey ! thought I was a G )so think I might start listing to one side .

Was your chemo planned before op ? Sounds like today not too bad hope it stays that way for you .At the moment all I want to concentrate on is this step on Thursday ..mastectomy and sentinel node . Then will work towards two week  review . 

Keep positive ! 

We are strong and will win !

love and hugs xoxo

Northerner Be kind to yourself, don't forget we are all different and will handle this differently. My normal before this was wearing jeans/leggings and oversized shirts and tops (usually my partners) and going bra-less.  It's been difficult learning to wear a bra daily but like you I got myself measured properly last week and bought a mastectomy bra which is extremely comfortable.

The stress is difficult to deal with isn't it?

My chemo was not really planned but by the time they realised the extent of my issue and the fact that it had grown so quickly, this was on the 30th April, it was suggested that I'd likely have chemo and radiotherapy.  After the op and then review it was strongly suggested because of the size and not really having a safe margin. I was lucky in that my nodes were clear and my oncologist, to put it into perspective for me, likened the affected part to be a currant bun with the bulk of it being non invasive DCIS and only currant sized bits that were invasive.

Also don't be surprised if the review goes to three weeks, mine did and it seems quite a few others did too.  The waiting is so frustrating and just adds to the stress I'm afraid but it seems that the waiting is a big part of this particular rollercoaster.

Good luck for tomorrow, I'll be thinking of you.

XOXO