constant brain chatter.....

Hi , very sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I had a lumpectomy in March this year, so if you have any questions feel free to ask (I sent you a friend request if you'd prefer to message privately)

I think the brain chatter is normal, the second my breast doctor said 'cancer' my brain flashed to the worst case scenario and when you're dealing with the stress and fear of upcoming surgery you're bound to have some fearful thoughts (it's the price we pay for imagination!) 

In my opinion, the worst aspects of cancer diagnosis are the uncertainty and the waiting. 

I dealt with it by challenging the negative thoughts, trying to focus on each moment as it came and not fighting the emotion - this is an unbelievably challenging time. It's normal to feel anxious, angry, sad, accepting, positive - whatever emotion comes up.

I hope it goes well with your children this evening - I have two boys, 20 & 14 years and they took it surprisingly well. it was obviously scary for them but I'm glad I included them.

Regarding the lymph nodes - are they removing any during the surgery? When I had my surgery, they did the lumpectomy first and told me if the margins weren't clear they would do a second surgery to check the lymph nodes. After the lumpectomy I was told to expect the results to take a minimum of 2 weeks. In the end, I only waited 10 days. 

Like you, none of my friends or family have been through this, so even though I had lots of support, I still felt quite isolated. It might be worth contacting Macmillan to see if there are any support groups in your area. If not, Maggie's centre and breast cancer care are both fab 

big hugs Naid xx

Firstly, So sorry you find yourself here, however this a fantastic place to be for advice and support.

I had a mastectomy and then node clearance 3 weeks later, 7/21 of my nodes were affected, Breast Nurse told me, the lymph nodes were doing their job by basically swallowing the cancer cells so they didnt spread elsewhere. So please try not to worry, I know it’s easier said then done.

My team were brilliant, they will only tell you when results are in and they have had there meeting to discuss your case and plan the best course of action and implement a treatment plan designed specifically for you.

Depending on the age of your children, I would have been inclined to wait but that’s just me. I didn’t tell mine for 3 months, it gave us time to get our head around it all, because if I couldn’t I couldn’t expect them too.

I waited till all my ct scans were in before I told them and was going to start Chemo, Luckily my ct scans etc were clear, so I could tell them the cancer was gone and chemo and radiotherapy would just be a precaution.

Very best of luck x x

Dear Naid, 

Thank you so much for getting back to me.  It is unbelievably lovely to hear a voice of someone with whom to share the shock.  I told the children yesterday evening.  They are 13, 16 and 19.  They were shocked and upset, but then gave me big hug and tried to make me laugh. Which was lovely.  

I am going to "try" - to tackle each stage as it comes, otherwise my over active imagination will go mad.  So next battle is the lumpectomy a week on Wednesday.  They are removing lymph nodes during surgery..I was in such shock when I was told my diagnosis, that all the timings did not quite sink in.  I do now, vaguely recall them saying something about 2 week wait to check if they need to do another bit of surgery. Two weeks or 10 days, seems like another horrible wait.  I am not the most patient person, at the best of times! - but I will get to that bridge later.

First bridge, - the lumpectomy.. How did you feel afterwards?  I have never even been under a general before.  I know it sound silly, but could you do thinks like text and email?  ( I am right handed and it's my right side that is being operated on)  I love reading and enjoy a good chick flick.  Will I feel up to this sort of thing ?  Did you have visitors after you came home?

You are kind to reply to me, when you are still probably having a few wobbly moments yourself.  I hope that i will be in the position to offer support to others one day. 

With love and thanks, 

Sukki17 xxx

Dear Beachwalker 19,

Thank you for getting back to me.  It really is so reassuring to hear other voices.  I have always been a bit of a luddite  - but views rapidly changing! I sent a message on another group chat, which you kindly got back to me too ( Breast cancer under 50)- II noticed on a message to someone else, - or at least I think it was you - that you advised that this group was more active??

I told the children, something that I was dreading, yesterday evening.  I did not tell them everything, just what I felt they needed to know at this stage. That was another bit of advice that you gave.

I really am so grateful for the fact you have got back to me.  I hope that one day, I will be in a position to help someone else, but at the moment, I am in complete self-obsessed shock.  Early mornings are bad.

Thank you.. 

With love

Sukki17 xxx

Hi , welcome to this wonderful club which none of us choose to join but can be a great source of support and shared experiences, even hopefully a few laughs now and again! Thought I’d pop in to say hello and share some of my story. Like you I’ve lost loved ones to cancer (both parents) and my first thought when I knew I’d got it was for my kids. Telling them went better than expected, they’re young adults, but still hard. 

Re operation, like you I had lumpectomy and lymph node sampling. I’m a weird person who ‘enjoys’ an anaesthetic! The drugs seem to agree with me and I seem to feel ‘euphoric ‘ for a time afterwards, if a bit spaced out, so after many general anaesthetics for various minor ops I’m not at all scared. Hope you’ll be the same. It was day surgery, in at lunchtime and out early evening. I was a bit woozy and weary after but nothing horrible. The next day I was definitely texting and watching telly, and I always read in bed so was doing this too. But in a dozy sort of way. I used lots of pillows to get comfy. I have a much bigger scar than expected because the surgeon used the same excision for the lump removal and nodes, but it healed well. Re visitors, I did have quite a few which was tiring, be sure to say if you need to rest, I like the advice about staying in a dressing gown! Though actually I felt better getting up and getting dressed, it made me feel more ‘normal’.

i think the best advice really is listen to your mind and your body and do what feels right for YOU. We’re all different but your focus has to be yourself and how this needs to be for you. It’s hard as we’re so used to putting other people first, especially our children, but this is a time to hand that over to others and focus on yourself. 

Re results, clinics are different but I had to wait 2 weeks. But I felt a huge relief post op to know that the cancer had been dispatched to the clinical waste bin! (Well I know sent for testing really, but I preferred the bin image!)

Sorry to ramble on, do keep posting, rant and rave whenever you like, and let us know how you get on, love and hugs, HFxx

Hi

I'd never undergone surgery before my lumpectomy, so everything was strange and unknown and scary. What I did find was as soon as I got to the hospital on my surgery day, I felt less nervous because everyone there, from the surgeon to the lady who came to ask what I'd like for dinner, was so calm and warm and reassuring. My anxiety peaked when they wheeled me into the anaesthetic room, but again, the staff there were great. I told them I was terrified and they went out of their way to reassure me and help me to feel calm. 

I don't recall going to sleep, it happened so quickly. The next thing I was aware of was waking very suddenly in the recovery room. I was surprised because I always thought everyone woke gradually from a general, but I startled awake and was a bit disorientated at first. I spent about an hour or so there and then they wheeled me back to the ward.

Again the staff there were lovely, one nurse even went off to the cafeteria to fetch my family. I had no adverse effects from the anaesthetic, no nausea, no drowsiness etc. and I recovered quickly enough to go home that evening.

Within minutes of getting back to the ward I was able to text and interact fully with everyone around me. I'm right handed and had left breast surgery but I was still able to use my left hand fine, but bear in mind that I didn't have lymph nodes removed so I'm not sure how much that will affect things.

My breast wound healed well, it was very sore for a while and I did have quite a bit of pain for a few weeks (and I still have some daily) - my breast nurse said this is probably due to me being so skinny (no natural padding!) and the fact that I needed to have quite a large piece of skin removed together with a large amount of breast tissue (around half my breast) including some bits of muscle. I've noticed other ladies on here saying their lumpectomies weren't very painful at all, so I guess it depends on individual circumstances.

Within a few days of surgery, I took my youngest away to a holiday park for a few days. I had to take things slow and found I got tired very easily but I was able to cope and actually really enjoyed the change of scenery and walks on the beach. It also helped pass the time while I waited for the results. 

I have the all clear now, so I'm focused on the physical and emotional healing. It's truly a horrible thing to go through, but, I just kept reminding myself that everything moves forward and this situation is temporary, it will pass. I do have wobbly days, but I've also started having days of acceptance, days where I can feel myself moving towards a better place.

I know it's hard and very stressful waiting for the surgery, one thing I focused on was really looking after myself. I bought some healthy food and ate well, drank plenty of water, rested and pampered myself (I also ate plenty of chocolate!) I figured, taking care of myself would give my body the best chance of healing after the surgery.

love and hugs xx

Hi Sukki17

I know you have had good advice so far from the group, there are amazing people on the group chat. I have having a mastectomy this Wednesday and the waiting has been the worse part after the initial shock of being told I have Breast cancer, I think we all think this will not happen to us. I have had many bad days but I have good as well and think of the future when I am back to what I call a normal life. I honestly think the best advice is to take it a day at a time.

You will get there and I wish you all the best for your operation and good times ahead.

Rita x