Been a while....

Such a rollercoaster ride isn't it - with more low bits than up bits I find.  Sorry you are so low at the moment.  Try and savour and small good bit and enjoyment you can find and maybe with nurturing those good bits they will grow bigger  . . . . 

Hello @JayJay999 and ,

Sorry you are feeling down - I think most of us refer to this as a 'roller coaster' when we first get diagnosed.  We have so many 'ups and downs' - don't know if we get a twist or a turn along the way.

The best thing we need to keep in mind, is we are here, we are fighting this and we must try all we can not to give in 'too long' to the down days.  We can allow ourselves to feel down for a short time, them we must find a way to push it off - we don't want to waste our time on the down stuff, we each have come so far and together we have the answers to pretty much anything this tries to throw at us. 

Thinking of you and sending some gently hugs and moral support 'You have come so far, don't be hard on yourself, be proud of how far you have come'.

Sending Love and Hugs xxx

Thank you so much @AnnJac and @WhatHappened for your kind and thoughtful words. I cannot express how much I truly admire the strength and courage of every member of this amazing community.

Made it through the (ridiculously traumatic) divorce, with endless support from most of the emergency services. He who shall remain nameless moved his girlfriend (half his age!) in halfway through my radiotherapy. Lawyer's advice was to stay and fight it out in the courts. Consultants and police quite rightly told me to get out and stay out. So after 8 weeks of the worst time of my life, I did. Left everything behind and walked (ok, ran like hell...) away to start again. Have now moved 3 times in 8 months, worked continually all across the country without taking any time off, and I'm now waiting for the 12 month review and mammogram to see what's happening. Can't really get too excited about this one to be honest, not the way my luck's going! The appointment has been cancelled 3 times and I'm now looking at the end of August which seems like an eternity to me just now. 

All of this I can cope with. I'm lucky to have amazing friends and a terrific job. Last week my daughter called to say she's found a lump of her own to worry about and it was as though my life fell apart all over again. She's now awaiting an urgent referral.

Staying strong and positive while I'm with her is hard, but I'm keeping it together. It's when I leave for the long drive home that it hits like a train and I morph into a quivering wreck of distress and nonsense. I feel so useless, and so guilty that she is in this position and just wish that she didn't have to go through all this rubbish. 

Currently consoling myself with a 300g bar of chocolate and some online shopping

Sending love and light to all xxx 

Goodness me, , what a nightmare! You are amazing to have survived all that, an inspiration.I do hope things settle down for you now, and that your daughter's lump is benign. Big hugs xxx

Sheeesh!

Please be kind to yourself! Have you got a safe place/ person with whom you can let it all out?

I do approve of your 'therapy' though 

Take care