Depends on the age of your 'kids' , but honesty is in my view the best policy. Although if younger kids, then be led by their questions and what they need to know!
Also, we don't know your full diagnosis but on the whole Breast Cancer is VERY treatable so a little reassurance and emphasis on the fact that you WILL be okay!
Also don't feel you have to put on a brave face. You need to be honest and let them know what if anything they can do to help. As I am sure they will want to support you through the coming weeks/months BUT is that what you want? Remember there are no right and wrongs in all this! Think about what will help YOU!
Hi and a warm welcome to this club which we wouldn’t choose to join but seem to find lots of support and shared experiences, even a few laughs! Sorry you find yourself in this situation, it’s all so shocking and scary at first. Re telling your kids, I don’t know how old they are, but mine are young adults and I was quite straight about it all. I had to tell them on the phone as they’re both abroad at the moment. I can’t remember details but I think I just said that I had some news to tell that wasn’t great, but that no one had died and that I was ok with it. Then told them about the cancer and possible treatment plan. They were of course shocked but I think the fact that I could be matter of fact about it helped. And I emphasised that it was treatable and that things are very different nowadays compared to when my mum died from breast cancer (before they were born but they know about it). I have then kept them informed about operation dates and treatment stages, personally I think information is better than their possible speculations. How old are yours?
Wishing you all the best with telling them, it does get easier the more you say it, for me anyway. So unreal to begin with. Sending hugs, and do let us know how you get on, HFxx
HappyFeet1 xx
Don’t be afraid to cry. It will free your mind of sorrowful thoughts. – Hopi
I told my daughter who was in second year of uni the day I had biopsy results. It coincided with end of her exams. Me and hubby drove the 80+ miles to tell her. I burst into tears as soon as I said ‘I have breast cancer’ , she cried too and then I said but we still going to NY on Monday!!!she then rang her best friend from home and told her and she cried. She decided she wanted to come home with us so we packed up half her room and cane home. Went NY then went back for rest of her stuff! Quite surreal. I was fortunate that BCN came out to my home two days after my diagnosis to talk to family . Daughter was very positive throughout!
My daughter has just finished her first year at uni and my son is working both early 20s tbh they took it really well .My daughter the practical one my son doom and gloom but I explained that it is what it is think I was the one not crying xxx hope you are doing well
pleased to hear they took it well. Now you can relax and concentrate on getting through the coming weeks. Just take things a day at a time. Allow yourself to feel however you need to feel. Your emotions will probably be all over the place during the coming weeks, but don’t worry, it’s all perfectly normal.
Keep posting and you’ll soon discover what a great support this site can be. Wishing you all the best with your treatment. Will keep an eye out for your posts. IF you find yourself wide awake in the wee small hours, there is a thread called AWAKE which you are welcome to pop on to. It’s a space for chatting to others who are struggling to sleep! Or just a thread to look through and have a laugh! Yes you read correctly we have Cancer and we still manage to laugh!
My son was in Afghanistan the first time I was diagnosed, my daughter at uni. That was twelve years ago. Just got a new diagnosis and they are both closer to home.
My daughter wants the facts anti know. " what's next" but I think my son is finding it harder too. Maybe because last time he other things to think about, I'm certainly getting more hugs than usual.
The RAF by the way we're really good giving him and me lots of support. Apart from one lady who said" Are you actually dying, we can only bring him home if you are dying". At their time it made me laugh and put things in perspective.
