Oh Jackie, so sorry to hear you've had a bad few days but yes there are always going to be times where it gets to us. None of us are superhuman so whilst we are brilliant at putting on our brave faces we are all going through an incredibly difficult time. I have felt on the verge of floodgates opening these last few days but managing to hold on for now but I know it'll come. I wake up most days with that horrible thump in my tummy and struggle to get going but once I'm up and doing things I feel better. Having Libby to look after keeps me occupied but at the same time I get very scared for her that she is 7 and her mummy has cancer. I'm filling up just typing that.
Anyway I hope you continue to feel better today and can have a relaxing Sunday. I've had similar "accidents" wrapping chocolates before....in fact I am so bad I now only buy ones for other people I don't like!
Well time to get up and get Libby to swimming lesson. Snow forecast for later so think we will have a quiet afternoon getting school stuff organised for the week ahead and playing some board games.
Jammy I understand your sadness and it must be extremely difficult for you to have that brave face on so often with Libby about, you writing that made me get teary too.
Well I tried to beat myself up for being so self pitying Friday but in the end I just let it out. No brave face as nobody was around to see it and that made it easier to let it happen.
To be honest I don’t think it did me any harm because I feel so much more in control again. It’s was like a pressure valve and it just needed loosening off.
It’s strange because for me it’s loneliness, I’m not alone but that’s the overriding feeling, strange emotion because you can be in a room full of lovely people and still feel lonely and that’s me.
Anyway I’m back in control as I said so on to the wrapping again, had to have another chocolate, well they are open now and I need to finish them so that I can destroy the evidence lol.
We have been invited to my sons for dinner this afternoon so I’m really looking forward to that, always better when somebody else cooks for me. I get to see one of my granddaughters too which is a big bonus. She’s full of what the elf on the shelf has been up to and so excited about absolutely anything. She is just 6 so of course believes almost anything so making up stuff for her to go ‘wow’ about is good fun.
I hope all of you lovely ladies are having a wonderful Sunday.
Oh isn’t this thing an absolute bugger. I was only thinking that Jacks had slipped off the radar.
It’s not even a human being with feelings and a brain but yet it has this ridiculous ability to make us all crumbled like a box of expensive chocs.
I cry at the drop of a hat when watching sloppy films so my binge on them at the moment is giving me every reason to have a snivel . Cried at Strictly last night . I mean really.
I didn’t get to the drinks party but did get my haircut which was much needed. Sadly this morning it’s looks the same as usual. Frightful darling frightful. Explosion in a mattress factory.
So sent hubby to the party which meant I could snivel away to my hearts content. He had a good time obviously. Think he needed to be away from the situation too
OMG hotel choc - one of my favs. The seriously dark tick my choc box. Whoops that could be misconstrued. I bought some chocs when they were cheap in M&S. Bought 4 boxes. Now ...... 2 left. Ach well.
Eat drink and be merry
We have at least 10-15 cm of snow whoopee. But still feeling like @@@@. So just enjoying the sight from the warmth of the house. Some friends who live in South Africa have flown to Germany for the snow. And guess what? No snow!!! Bless. I kindly sent pics. Tee hee.
The hubby is off to play. Gawd he bought a 4x4 3 years ago and now it’s Snowtime Playtime. Boys and their toys.
Ok so a few scribbles on cards today might put a smile on my face.
Have a good day everyone . Sending positive thoughts, love and hugs.
Hope the day goes well and you enjoy your family time, make memories.
Oh and you can have any marzipan or coffee chocs. YUK YUK
Take care
Leolady
Life is like a boxing match, defeat is declared not when you fall .....But when you refuse to stand up again .......So, I get knocked down but I get up again. x
Yes Jackie that's exactly what I was trying to articulate to my lovely hubby earlier. I am surrounded by people and the support I'm getting from friends etc is amazing but I feel lonely and a little lost at times even in a room full of people. I guess it's because it's our bodies going through this and we can't escape it not even for a minute. In my more weepy moments though I try and imagine how much harder this would be if I was truly alone. My aunty had BC 20 yrs ago when she was living on her own a long way away. Obviously I was young at the time and never thought too deeply about how she'd be feeling but she must have gone through hell.
So I think we all need to be kind to ourselves and enjoy out Sunday. If all else fails eat somebody else's chocolates!!!! Got to confess just bought Libby a pack of chocolate Santa lollies in Thorntons and have my eye on one.
Aw Jackie we have had 3 years of fun with elf on the shelf but this year Libby in her "muummmm I'm 8 in a few weeks" mood decided that the magic isn't real. That said she still keeps asking me to do something with him even though she knows it me. We've had a few rolls of het eyes when talking about Santa so not sure she really believes but she isn't saying so just yet thankfully. I said to her earlier feel bit guilty we havent had any big days out to see Santa this year but she said she is happy just to have seen him at school Xmas fair and would rather I save the money towards her birthday party. Wise kid!
Disappointing (for Libby) lack of snow here up North. My in-laws in the Midlands have been sending photos of the deep snow in their garden. We went to swimming lesson and couple of shops, homework etc nailed so board games and pamper aft for me and my shadow.
Leolady - sorry you missed you drinks evening. That lurgy has really knocked you around hasn't it and suppose the infection hasn't helped. Love your quote about "it's not even a human being...". You are so right and whilst people keep saying "it's very treatable" etc it has powers to make us terrified.
Its awful wen ur children stop believing in santa , mines nearly 17 n a gobshite . I only dropped him once i just dont understand. !!!! Now eat those chocs u need building up, i bought my btrother in law some nice spanish , hes got soks, i got mother in law fudge , we got het a garden ornament other day. Ask if i enjoyed sed sweets YES.
Leolady ur so wise u hit the nail on the head there. Jack n jam i hope u cheer up soon , i use to think ok i cried tday u willnot upset me tmorra u will not win. It did seem to work plus bein a tad mad does help. So after reading ur posts I no ur well on ur way to to winning
Think we all have down days and it does you good to let the emotions out, I cry at the drop of a hat lately and that is not like me.
My foster child who is 9 but has mental health problems so is more like 5 asked me if I was going to die, I told her I would try very hard not too, she said but Alison if you do who is going to look after me, I told her kev would look after her and she said ok then. I managed to keep it together until I could get upstairs, how sad i am for her that she is not sure what will happen
At least she felt able to ask.
Hope everyone is doing ok today
I do feel so sad for those who have young children, it' such a worrying time for a parent and kids should not have the added stress either, but they are resilient creatures and get on with things far easier than us adults.
Hi Aliblue my children are 14 to 27 but this is the thing that's breaks me the impact of all this on them. I want our certain life back. You sound so caring she will be ok with all the love you have xxx
Thank you for all of that. You have just put my hour of self pitying tears into perspective .
God bless and stay strong
Hugs
Leolady
Life is like a boxing match, defeat is declared not when you fall .....But when you refuse to stand up again .......So, I get knocked down but I get up again. x
Leolady - you are just as much entitled to those tears as anybody else. This is s**t for all of us regardless of our age and our children's age if we have children. You have had a rough few weeks and must be exhausted so help the cry has relieved some tension. We are here to help you as you help us (I mean look at the lengths you go to entertain us...wandering around town with knickers in trouser leg etc etc!). If lived nearby I'd be round yours now with a mushroom coffee, somebody else's chocolates and a massive hug!
Ali gosh I bet that was an hard question to handle calmly. Libby doesn't know much other than I've had an operation but by pure coincidence her favorite expression when she tells me she loves me at the moment is "I couldn't live without you". Gets me every time.
Just settled in bed and remembered haven't done exercises this evening. Oh well sod it I've been good every day so just this once...and I had a good work out earlier moving furniture to locate the bloody hamster who escaped from his ball. He is getting to be a right pain in the ....cute as he is we have had words!!
