The operation

Makes sense to me.  WhatHappened

I have zero tolerance for bullsh!t these days too. I think we realise that we don't have to stand for it anymore, and we have found the strength to bin it!!

Xx

Jac, Leolady, Whathappened & Jammy - thank you for your words of wisdom. I really appreciate it and also thank you for making me reminding me I’m not on my own with my crazy thoughts and ramblings!!

JammyR - PICC will be all done in around an hour. Procedure doesn’t take long at all, it’s just the prepping, cleaning, dressing, etc that adds the time on. Bloods & treatment will be much more straightforward with your new friend!! 

Have a goid day y’all xxx

 - As your near-chemo-twin, I've been  having the same thoughts myself.  All being well, last chemo should be 4/4 and surgery then early May, with RT 3-6 weeks thereafter.  I'm off sick and will then take encrued holiday after my 6 months, so was starting to have to think about when to go back to work, and the very thought is freaking me out.  I can't imagine joining in the real world again as if nothing has happened.  I also think my confidence in myself at work will have been knocked.  However, if I try to look at the flip side of that, I am sure that I won't sweat the small stuff like I used to and refuse to let work crap stress me.  I'm roughly thinking I'll go back mid-August when my son returns to school again.  It all seems very surreal.  But I suppose we're best to just concentrate on the thing we are grappling with right now - that being blooming chemo and its myriad, lovely SE!  How are you doing on that front? 

Linda xx

Thanks Linda/Aspen, it really helps that you feel the same as I do. I‘m sure it will be absolutely fine when we do integrate back into society.

I guess we don’t really need to think about it yet as we both still have an op & RT to contend with first. 

I’m thinking I’ll be back September-ish which is ages away really but scares the heck out of me!!

SE have today given me a break!! I actually felt hungry at lunch time and enjoyed what I ate. Still a bit achey but able to function above basic level today. How is it this time For you?? Hope it’s not like last time round for you.  Xxx

  - glad to hear you're having a bit of normality.  Temp behaving so far so fingers crossed no H admission this time.  Oral thrush and raw throat back right on cue though.  I had a huge bag of drugs that the hospital gave me away with so took some of the fluconazole straight away but still needed more from GP this morning.  Making eating sore.  But hopefully short-lived. 

L xx

Bigguy and Aspen - hope the SE stay manageable for you both and def no hospital stays this time please Linda!

Just a quick hello from me, busy but nice day and shattered as no time for my siesta earlier. Hope everyone ok... Leo did you get anywhere with BCN? Been thinking about you today sweetie.

x

Wishing everyone a good evening.  

Mrsox, Bigguy and Aspen really hope you are all managing okay, I know its a case of having to - just keep remembering this will all be a distant memory soon.

LeoLady - how have you go on?

Thinking of everyone and sending love and gentle hugs xxx

It is a really funny thing to be aware of a change in oneself then see it all written out here...I am NOT the same person as I was before BC.  Even though so far I have escaped CT and RT I absolutely do not take rubbish.  I smile the same, and try the same but if I come across really stupid interference I simply do not tolerate it and for the first time in my entire life I fired someone, politely and quickly - i did agonise about it a bit but not nearly as much as I would have before, I might not even have gotten to the sticking point, before.  This person needed to go.  But if I become as intolerant of my own failings I might have new problems!!!!

Hi All

Hope everyone is doing well today.

For those with appointments I hope it all goes well.

SE for me cycle 5 day 5 are here but manageable . Got sleeping tablets from chemo nurse (only 7) but wow do they make a difference, if you can get a good sleep you cope better, mind you OH says I sound like a train while asleep which he says must be because the tabs make me sleep deeper.

Stay strong girls

Morning All,

I don’t have many toys left in my pram some days and as you know from the get go I was always I HAVE GOT BLEEPING BC. So do it or else ........ Before BC, I was always a benefit of the doubt type of person until (when I did lose the plot ) boy did people duck. ‘I am not asking you. I am telling you.’ Child, parent or staff got that through gritted teeth. Or my all time favourite ‘With the greatest respect. In my professional opinion, I have been doing this for xy years and I believe you are (their profession or how long they had been working) but .............. '  I do miss the opportunity to be ar*** so my recent polite but curt letters to PALS helped.

Thanks for all the messages of support they do so help me get through this poo.

So we all went out to play in the big smoke yesterday. Champs meeting in London ( don't say but they are more bonkers than I am) It was so funny........... Train 20 mins delay, train 20 more mins delay as broken down  train in front, delays on the brown tube line Bakerloo. It was so amusing!!! Actually to watch the stress hormones in the carriages rising it was. ME hey ho! Big deal.I'll arrive when and if I do.

AND guess what ??????? Maccy place is next to MI6. I didn't see 007 or Judy Dench once. Lots of blacked out cars going in and serious people in dark clothes with big bulges. HONEST

It was a good day. Lots of healthy discussions and lost of support. New friends from different groups but all very similar comments.

Boy though being a full on growed up for the day. PHEW. Early night was needed and I was too tired to drink a glass of pop.

Right not too sure - very remiss of me - where everyone is on their treatment path. But hope this week is a gentle one for each and every one of you.

Remember channel that inner child and soothe her with whatever she needs, she deserves it

Leolady56 - catching up where the bleep my ipone is and the ongoing onco bleep