AWAKE.........

Oh that’s a shame Mag123  it’s one of the things I could get quite cross about. It really shouldn’t be that difficult for us to get our results. Grrr.

I had my scan on 1st Nov, they told me the results would be sent to my consultant and GP, but not to me. Said I should allow 3 weeks then chase for my results so 22nd onwards if neither consultant not GP had contacted me.

I looked at NHS App on 6th for another reason and there my results! were so I downloaded them.

The admin system seems so right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing … 

Admin in the NHS? Ha, don’t get me started! 

might night Fruit Loops, sleep well and stay safe, plenty of sleepy fairy dust for all who wish

 hugs xxx

I’m not sure I did go back to sleep I am actually a zombie I went to sleep at about 11:30 and woke at 1:30 and I’m still awake. Will this ever change?

I had a bit of drama with the Portacath dressing and it seems I’m sensitive to the sensitive dressings they used. Seriously just give me the cheap stuff I’m good with that.
resulted in blisters under the dressing which they had to remove whilst pouring saline over. Ouch and double ouch whilst they had to hold stickers together from portscath. Wow great start hope this isn’t a sign. 
first chemo this morning have to be up in a few hours anyway. What did you take with you I’m thinking iPad, downloaded some stuff to watch. Phone and charger plus ear buds. Water, snacks? Will I feel like eating? 

I’ve been told that the first session will be long. So get there at 9:30 and expect to be there until 6-7pm. Good job we don’t live far from hospital my partner can go back to check on kids and dog etc. 

I’ve started taking steroids yesterday could that be making my sleeping even worse? 

I finally finished up work today I’ve signed off for 2 weeks anyway and have been working with my team on handoffs and cover. I’m so lucky I have an amazing supportive team but I do feel guilty leaving them with so much stuff. It feels weird like I’m leaving or dying, does that sound awful sorry for being dramatic but that’s the first Time I’ve admitted that. And now I’ve said it to you it’s probably pretty obvious why I can’t sleep right?

I have a good prognosis so I shouldn’t be thinking that and I’m not thinking it all the time honest it’s not all doom and gloom in our house in fact humour is getting me through. It’s probably all the bloody emails I’ve had to send to employees, suppliers, schools, friends etc telling them of my diagnosis and impacts and changes to be aware of etc. Now I’m off work and people are told maybe I can relax and concentrate on silver linings. More time to shop online, finishing off a sewing project that’s been waiting too long, reading some real actual paper books which have patiently waited on that shelf. 

Omg I can waffle on can’t I? Sorry night ramblings don’t expect you all to read it all. Just bored bored bored. 

see you on the other side of first chemo session and targeted therapy session. 

Big question will it make me tired and will I finally sleep. For all your sakes I hope so.

night night x

That’s rubbish cos the waiting for results is so brutal. MRI results are instant her but the wait is for them to get an appointment to go through them with you. On biopsies that took over 3 weeks for me to know it was cancer and it was hormone negative and another 2 weeks to find out I’m her2 positive. I was told some of the results just take longer in the lab and they have to chase to get records updated. 

seriously I work in IT, it drives me insane, it should all be automated. How many times I complete the same forms and manual documents it’s so time consuming for us and them. No wonder things go missing and are incorrect. Ranting now sorry but build a team of women to fix it for gods sake.

So sorry you had another bad night.Mumofthree These really don't last forever. It takes time to come to terms with the reality of what you are going through. I worked through but didn't have to have Chemo as I was HER neg do I don't know how that might affect your sleep pattern.  But try to be kind to yourself and don't worry about the sleepless nights as you will get back into a routine of sleeping at night. It is not at all surprising at the moment when you are about to start Chemo. Once you have had your first session you will probably just go through the motions each time. My husband used to get himself settled on the bed get hooked up and just enjoy the chance to do nothing for a while. 

Have you downloaded a couple of your favourite films to watch? I am a nervous flier and watching my go to films on the flight in the Summer out to my son's wedding  worked brilliantly as distracting and relaxing me. 

Wishing you all the very best for today. Sending hugs x

I have come down with a terrible fluey cold and am not able to go into the office today as planned. I can wrap up and work from home but I am far too poorly to drive and be away from facilities for that long a journey. This throat is just so sore and I'm shivering with a banging headache. I seem to be more susceptible now I am taking both Letrozole and diabetic meds. Has anyone else found that the Letrozole has made them catch more colds etc?

Oh no so sorry to hear that Mag123, do you have to work at all. Sounds like a duvet day to me. Remember to take your temperature and report any increases. 

can’t comment on med as mine start today. 

hope you feel better soon. 

Sorry to hear that you are not feeling well Mag123.

I'm having my port inserted next Monday so if LP is available can I have a loan of him please LondonLass.  I've already started stocking up on treats for him.

Rather busy at the mo. I’m awaiting bladder Botox, and have a date pencilled in, hope it comes through ! Struggling at present. Also awaiting yag laser on L eye for post cataract opacity, poss January. Husband has a squamous cell carcinoma on leg, had biopsy, awaiting surgery. Also found microscopic haematuria and has urgent GP appt this afto. All this is going to happen in December and we are going away on 22nd eek! Xx

Oh my, seaspirit44 , that sounds a VERY busy time! Hope it all works out sensibly for you both. 

Choir went ok, the semi-chorus bits worked from the baton (not easy but we did get the tempo correct both times we sang it) plus our volume needed to be a bit more. Giving it more ‘welly’ the second time worked, we were told. It’s pretty low in the voice. 

Hugs xxx