AWAKE.........

Anna12345 Yay hooray for a long stretch of sleep, it makes all the difference and more comfortable bits are good news too. Xxx

Anna12345, so glad you had a better night, yay!

Morning all! It’s sunny here now that a lot of misty clouds have blown over….

Hugs xxx

But the rain came in time to stop me doing too much gardening…..

night night Fruit Loops, sleep well and stay safe

plenty of sleepy fairy dust for all who wish

hugs xxx

Hi Fruit Loops, I’ve had a difficult day today and it’s left me feeling…….

Some of you might recall me talking about a very close neighbour/friend who was suffering with dementia. Well she passed away a few weeks back and today was her funeral. 
It was a Beautiful Service and although very sad, we all had thoughts of how she was now in a better place and not suffering anymore.

However as I sat there and listened to the iconic song from the movie Ghost, tears filled my eyes as I remembered how she used to be and thought about how much I shall miss her. Then as the service went on and my mum, her best friend, broke down in tears next to me, I squeezed her hand tight and for the first time ever I felt/saw my mums vulnerability. My mum the strong one, the one we all go to when we are in trouble, the one who holds our family together. But in that moment she was just a very upset best friend, who was going to miss her best friend and someone who was starting to realise that none of us live forever! 

Then as Robbie Williams, ‘Angels’  was played I couldn’t help thinking about my parents and their mortality. When I was diagnosed with secondaries I had questioned whether dying scared me? The answer was no, no it didn’t still doesn’t BUT what scares me more ‘sometimes’, and I’m sorry if this sounds stupid or if it’s something I shouldn’t share, but I have held this in for so long. What scares me more is being left alone! Is God Forbid something happening to my parents and being left alone! That’s what scares me! My parents mean the world to me, they give me the strength to get through the toughest of days and I need them more than they know!!

Today has just made me think about how fragile life is! I know tomorrow will be a better day. The sun will rise again, life will go on and I will bounce back. Like I always do! But tonight I feel Sad, Lonely and Scared!! I know these feelings will pass because they have too.

That’s my Vent over! Now maybe I can sleep! The Death of a Loved one never gets any easier does it.

Goodnight My Lovely Fruit Loops. Xxxxx

Awwww, dear Sal/LondonLass, a life ending and the sad farewell never ever feels right, does it? But yes, suddenly the fact that we are all mortal hits you and you look around at your nearest and dearest and wonder…..but it’s the most certain thing in life. 

 sending you a mahoosive hug xxx (oh and I hope you read about the ‘what’s app’ warnings….) 

Hugs xxx

You are indeed a very loving, special, and caring person. Not a vent at all, but some very valid thoughts on life and death and love. You have had a very sad day indeed. Tomorrow will be a new day. Remember that you have many dear friends and still more to make in the coming years. xxxx

 LondonLass not a vent at all and a fear shared by many.  I have a friend who is 52 and her only family is her elderly parents after losing her sibling 30 years ago.   She's been quite open that although she finds it very stressful caring alone for her frail parents  when they go she's alone.   

Yes you will bury the thought and move forward  but it's ok to share your fears.  I've no doubt your mother what will happen to you and they have triggered her tears today.  

Good morning.....

I was about to post a photo of a sunflower then I noticed .....no icon......

Sad thoughts to start today expressed LondonLass in a way we all identify with.Thank you. The message is to make the most of every day. We waste so much time.....the things we don't do, the things we never say, ..........we prioritise the least important things. Strangely only yesterday OH and I took ourselves out for a spontaneous' day out' and over lunch agreed that we must do this more often in the coming months. Yes, we both had mundane jobs.....repairs, washing, hoovering, ....we could have been doing but walking by the river in Cognac, talking to each other over a leisurely lunch, even discussing the merits of a new frying pan.....was a far more important use of time because if these last few months have taught us anything, it's that you never know what is around the corner.

So to today......hope it passes ok for all. I will have to tackle the washing today and probably cut the grass as the forecast is fine but I shall also make sure I find time to phone my mum, mail two friends who I am a little overdue replying too, cut the flowers and arrange them and chat to my son who is 41 today. Those jobs are more important............

Love to all.Karen 

Oh londonlass I don’t have the words to express what I want to say to you, moving and beautiful reflections on life and love and the gut wrenching fear. I wish, and I’m sure not for the last time, that this virtual world were real, that I could physically put my arms around you and be there for you, much love, huge hugs xxx

LondonLass the other fruitloops have said it all. Sending big hugs xxxx