Thought i would send you all a quick hello
I am still about at very random times but i am really worn out and actually it’s knocking me out and don’t think i have ever slept so much in years. Currently wearing a heart monitor as my heart rate does some very random things, hopefully the monitor wil detect what is causing the issue so it can be fixed otherwise back to the drawing board. Getting very sore round my kidneys and the stent I currently have in doesn’t seem to bother me and next month i will have the kidney stone removed hopefully and a new stent to help drain my kidney. But i do think about everyone and i hooe your all doing as best as possible. Oh and 
lol i have done exactly the same very embarrassing . It can happen. I have left my house keys in the fidge before and at a shop. Forgot tablets that ended up under my car seat and the mechanic found them, shows how honest they were because they actually told me about them and also put them on my carseat to remind me. They have been great with my forgetfulness and very understanding of my illness and my mind being a bit tricky these days. If I don’t do something as I remember it i go and forget. LondonLass i have actually made a halloween card at my support group on Tuesday, this mnth we are doing different halloween themed things. Christmas is definitely going to be coming round very quickly not long till December at all, this year is flying by.
I am helping a friend at a wellbeing event later as Macmillan have a stand there and also hopefully going to the hospice to say hello to a few this morning but it depends on when i get going really and whether i am able to go and visit as its up to the nurse in charge, I suppose it depends on what their dealing with at the time . I do want to update a few of the nurses that helped me too, but again it depends if they are busy. Plus strangely I find the hospice the one place i feel fully relaxed it’s strange there is definitely something about the place. I honestly have felt a bit distant and being unsure where i belong anymore, silly I know. I suppose its the being a fish out of water sort of feeling. I miss my diving in egypt so much but my finances are very stretched and I cant afford to go i am trying to save up a bit at a time but know that unless I borrow money on the credit card I don’t think I be able to go, wanted to go December time to see all my friends there before Christmas too. I suppose its things like this that is one of the many things being ill can take away from us, i lost my job of 19 years which made me feel worthless and angry that I didn’t get much money from my redundancy package they only gave the minimum they are required by law, at one time it was topped up with a weeks pay for every year you had worked for them, i had hoped to put this away for a holiday, instead i got £69 holiday pay i was owed. But also I don’t know where i belong because no one seems to have had the same experience health wise as me so i feel a bit alone by that, no ones fault its just life, but its made me feel really down and struggling to know what to say anymore silly i know. But i think we all go though these times when everything that has happened catches up with us and bloom! It’s totally overwhelming but one thing that never changes is the love and support here. And just because i am feeling a bit distant at the moment doesn’t stop me thinking of you all. Blimey just realised i have been majorly waffling here but just wanted to tell you all.
GBear, I think we have probably all felt a bit like that again times! That feeling lost and like we don't fit in! I know I did/do sometimes! When I was diagnosed with secondaries I couldn't see where I belonged anymore! The Breast Cancer Group seemed to be for people being treated for Primary. The secondary group was full of people who seemed to have quite advanced secondaries! Mine thankfully were contained in the one area! I had had surgery to remove part of my sternum and was desperate to find someone to talk to, who had experienced the same thing! Someone who would understand the pain I was in.
However, I then realised that none of us have the same diagnosis, we all have our own battles to face. But that doesn't stop us being here for each other. I for one wouldn't of got throught the last 3years without the love and support of the fantastic, loving and friendly people on here.
I think it's good to step away and get your thoughts in order from time to time, but also remind yourself that when you are ready we are all still here for you. You are a Fruit Loop and whatever your health complications you always will be! A Fruit Loop for Life!
So please don't feel that you don't belong. You have been an amazing support to so many of us and when you have your energy back you will be back to share your wisdom again. Until then, let us carry you for the coming weeks. We can help you to laugh and have fun! Something we forget to do sometimes!
But right now I think you sound like you need.........
ALWAYS here for you Hun. I'm sorry you are going through another rough patch. Let's hope they really sort you out this time! Xxxxxxxx
, I am, of course, intrigued to know whether you shout BOO at Treacle Treaters of FLASH them!!!!!! Really starting to see a different side to you! If you do Flash them your poor Grandchildren are goingto see a different side to you too!! 
Quite Funny though! Xxxxxx
Oh and yes you are right a bit early for Christmas, however it is just around the corner and this year really is flying by!
I wondered if we might be able to get everyone together for one evening? Like we used too. I know people are busy. But I was thinking of an Online Halloween Party! What does anyone think? In fact with half of us not sleeping and the other half taking drugs that leave us away with the fairies at times. Maybe this........
Would work? I know I for one wouldn't need to make much effort!! Anyone interested on joining me Oct 31st from say 7.30? Be good to have a giggle like we used too! Sal xxx
Sal, I BOO and Flash, might try this too..
My toddler gkid loves my bum, well it is a bit large, and she always wants to pretend biting it and I do a little twerk! Yes, I am a disgrace.
Party sounds great, can we wear costumes?
xx
Sal, LondonLass, you put my feelings into words too, that’s just how I felt when I was diagnosed with secondaries, but so glad you started this thread, love all your pics and wise words.
i am up for an online party, sounds perfect
Love and hugs Jenny xxx
BIG WAVE!!!
I'm still here but have been very busy knitting Mouseketeers and legwarmers (as you do!) so haven't been logging in as much! I still love this thread and all the people in it - I'll try to be more sociable after this weekend, I promise!!!
Chemo restarted yesterday - I'm taking bets on whether I'll be able to avoid Hotel NHS this cycle, and if not, which day of the cycle it'll be this time! Feeling okay so far, but that has been the way each time so far!
Right, back to the mice...
Hugs to everyone!
Loving the Big Wave Cathy, ! Very witty for this time of the morning! Oh and I LOVE the mouse 
I have my lovely knitted Angel sitting on my chest of drawers, I give it a kiss goodnight as a message to Lisa and Annette to leg them know I am still thinking about them!
, I'm starting to see the 'real' you! Shame you haven't made it too a meet up as you sound like you'd be great fun to be around.......just like all the other Fruit Loops!
, I think I can safely say we have all had our moments when we just feel 'lost'. But at least we all have each other now!
Well Ladies that's a Date for your Diary then! Halloween Party, dressing up optional! Treats a must!!
Love you all and hope you have a great day, Sal xxxxx
Fingers crossed that chemo will be kind to you and keep you out of hotel nhs.
love all the fruit Loops on this site, someone is always there for you just when you need it.
where would we be without LondonLass ‘s LP at our appointments
thanks everyone for your support, love you all x
Love and hugs Jenny xx
Thank you Sal, the 'real' me is a total fruit loop and in this my second life I really don't give a damn!
Went to York with the family and asked a man outside visitor centre ' if the Grand Old Duke of York had 10,000 men and marched them up to the top of the hill etc etc , Where's the hill? There's none in York. Family were walking away disowning me and there was a few people filming me... I thought it was hilarious and that's the REAL me … cancer will never define me.
Good luck with chemo and love love the mouseketeer.
GBear know how you feel but we're here for you.
xx
