Does anyone else dislike the Macmillan Brave the Shave campaign?

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Good evening everyone

I have seen two Macmillan TV adverts this evening, as well as lots of adverts on their Facebook site - and this website - for Brave the Shave,

This is encouraging people to raise money for people affected by cancer by shaving their head - it has fostered a climate where people think it is showing support to people who have lost their hair by doing this too.

Even my own daughters offered to shave their heads when they knew I was to have chemo and lose my hair - talk about brainwashing!

I can't think of anything that would have made me more upset than to see them lose their hair too.

I have pretty much powered my way through 8 cycles of DC and had every side effect it could throw at me, one stay of a week in hospital, and four times they called me in because of various things, two bad reactions in the chair - but the one thing that reduced me to tears wasn't being told I had cancer, it was being told I would lose all my hair in the second week of the first cycle.

And I don't need to tell any of you how hateful I found having huge handfuls come out in the shower (and I had short hair so hadn't thought it would be so horrid).

And then your eyebrows and eyelashes go - and your femininity feels like it's being stripped away bit by bit.

Frankly I find people who say they will get their head shaved as support, and that say they do it to "share" our experience haven't a clue! They might choose this, we haven't chosen it - and wouldn't.

It may sound over the top to some of you, but I find this whole campaign offensive, insensitive and patronising - particularly seeing people smile while having their head shaved, and people cheering. I didn't smile, and my daughter and husband didn't feel like cheering when they shaved my head.

Ok I'm cool with my look now - the very shiny head (not a short razor clipped look) - but I would prefer not to have had to experience any of this.

If you agree - please let me know.

I have messaged Macmillan previously and never even had a response. I've commented on Facebook under their posts in the past urging people to find fun ways to raise money (and there are so many) and not to do this for me.........and there is always a huge response in terms of "likes" and comments from people in our reluctant community.

If people are with me - maybe we can convince Macmillan to stop this barbaric approach to fund raising. Either like this post or put a comment of support please - if you don't agree, that's fine, no need to do anything!

Well - that's my rant over - you might have noticed I feel a tad passionate about this!

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    You sound like a really good pal to your friends. If your friend who is starting chemotherapy loses her hair, your support in shaving your head so she doesn't feel so conspicuous when you are out together, may be appreciated. Alternatively, she may not want this. How hair loss affects a person, varies but it is pretty shocking to most of us when it starts, so see what happens and be guided by her as it is such a personal thing. 

    I lost virtually all my hair after the first chemo session, having cropped it short beforehand. The week it came out was hard but I was so glad I had very short hair as it fell out. I hated the feel of hats and the wig so I opt for using a small black cotton head square outdoors and this makes me feel comfortable and secure when out. I'd be lost without it.  


    Be guided by your friend along the way as each of us going through this is so different. Most of all, just go on doing the best you can - a good friend is invaluable - in good times and bad. You are lucky to have one another xx

  • Hi corolep, I think the only opinions that really matter are yours and your friend who you are wanting to support through her Cancer Journey!

    Could I ask, do you plan on shaving your head continually throughout your friends treatment? As her hair will fall out, approx 2 weeks after her first Chemo! It won't grow back for months......yours will start to grow back immediately! How does she feel about this?


    I know after treatment when I first went to get my hair, what little there was, coloured. I was surrounded by women with beautiful long hair, and I was so jealous. I personally would hate for a family member or friend to shave their hair off for me! But I would find it even harder to go through treatment looking and feeling worse each day, while my friend had hair growing back!


    I don't doubt for one minute that you are a wonderful friend, the fact you are asking the question shows that.....BUT....I would just make sure your friend feels okay, REALLY okay with you doing this!


    Wishing you all the best with whatever you decide, sending lots of love and positive vibes to your friend. Xx

  • Hi carolep

    As I kicked this thread off, I thought I would reply - you may get others!


    I think the deep support and care you showed to your friend who sadly lost her battle, and the sentiments behind your "brave the shave" fund raising are wonderful and a huge credit to you.


    I think I've made my feelings clear about the campaign, as have a lot of other women who have lost their hair through chemo.

    Our issue is with Macmillan in terms of using this method as a fundraising campaign. We are still hopeful that other more imaginative and less insensitive ways will be focussed on in future.

    I would have hated for a friend of mine to shave their hair off. There are lots of other ways you can help your friend through the fear - choosing wigs (if that's her thing), researching the gorgeous headwear, holding her hand if she has her head shaved as a lot of us have done when it starts coming out......

    Seeing you with a shaved head will just remind her what she looks like and I can only guess, but I think once she's lost her hair she will feel sad and maybe guilty you did this. By the way, when you get your head shaved it looks nothing like the complete bald, shiny lack of any hair that you get from chemo - and doesn't include your eyelashes and eyebrows......and your hair would be growing immediately, rather than you stating like that for months.


    Anyway - those are just my thoughts and there to be ignored.


    So practicalities - have you actually got sponsors for "brave the shave"? If you have, and you decide to do something different you would need to see if they are still happy to sponsor you. My guess is they will as its about giving to Macmillan rather than watching you get your head shaved!

    If you haven't started getting sponsors, or want other ideas here are a few that don't involve your knee!

    Giving up alcohol for a month - Macmillan are running a Go Sober for October https://www.gosober.org.uk

    Dying your hair pink for a month - bit extreme but you could change after a month!

    Holding a Macmillan coffee morning - or arranging one at your place of work - interestingly this raised ÂŁ25m as against ÂŁ4m last year - people much prefer cake!!

    coffee.macmillan.org.uk/.../


    Hope this helps with your thinking, and I hope all goes well for your friend - it does for lots of us, I personally have no intention of going anywhere! Having a friend like you will be a huge asset to her.

    Judy xx

    "Those who don't believe in magic will never find it" Roald Dahl

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Judyr58

    Well said Judy. You've put that so very well xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Judyr58

    Thank you that makes a lot of sense..yes I have sponsors and another of my friends that has been touched by cancer is the hairdresser that is doing it .It was going to happen on the 30th of September whets she is having her mcmillion biggest coffee morning..and she's hired lots of stuff and hopes to raise more than sha an.   did last year ...another thing you May  be able to to give your feelings on....My friend who's starting chemo was thinking of doing it too ..so that when her children see us maybe it won't be so hard..Om not in a position to know how they would feel.but maybe you do ?.XXXX

  • I just wanted to say how refreshing it was to see someone else who hasn't had Chemo actually acknowledging & respecting the opinions expressed on this page.  I've had surgery for breast cancer but didn't need Chemo (so far, anyway).  Even so, as soon as I read this thread, I felt the need to stop supporting Brave the Shave & to raise awareness of the strength of feeling that exists against the campaign. However, the shavers I've known, and their supporters, have all been so defensive - claiming everyone should appreciate both the funds raised as well as the sentiment of 'solidarity'.  Once they'd started the campaign, they wouldn't have dreamed of changing to another one so well done you for being so thoughtful & considerate.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    carolep I would talk yo your friend because your hair will grow back quite quickly, hers won't and will probably never be the same. I know you mean well and you have said the ladies who loose their hair are brave. Do they have a choice? They may not feel brave at all and may be screaming and shouting on the inside but can't show this to the world. X

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    I completely agree. I was recently quite upset about a friend's son having his head shaved to raise money. I agree that raising money is great but found all his mother's Facebook posts about how brave he was annoying. An 11 year old boy choosing to have his head shaved is not the same as washing your hair and being covered in it

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi All

    Just to let you know my niece Braved the Shave on Sunday, 28th, and has collected nearly £1000 for her trouble.  I was there watching as her partner shaved her head (at a BBQ) and at some points clumsily!.  I haven't had chemo so it didn't directly affect me but I can understand the difference between willingly having your head shaved (to raise money for Macmillan) and having to HAVE to shave your head because of your chemo and looking like you have got alopecia (hope that's the right spelling!).  I thought she was brilliant for doing this as the shave (No.2) also brought to the fore the areas of grey she had been colouring!  Still we are all getting older, don't know about the wiser, but I do love her for what she did.  I was amazed at how quickly I got used to her shaved head!  She said she was going to 'bleach' what hair she had left the next day to hide those nasty little grey bits.  Whether she has done this I don't know as I haven't seen her since Sunday.  I am not even sure that she can.  Hairdressers usually leave a space between skin and hair so that the bleach doesn't touch the skin.  As I don't ever bleach or dye my hair - the new toxin free me - I am happy to continue to see the bits of grey on my head although I think I am lucky in that they are slow to show!

    Keep on trucking ladies

    ....still fighting this nasty little critter....