Hi, I have just discovered you all so I joined right away.
I am 61 and was diagnosed Dec 20 2007 with lobular breast cancer.
I live in France, in fact we had only been here just 12 months when I was diagnosed. It was a terrible shock. The doctors here are wonderful though there is no dedicated breast care nurses or McMillan nurses. I felt totally adrift as my grasp of the french language is minimal to say the very least. Because my tumour was a very large one, 8 cm x 4 cm it was 6 cm in 2006 when I went for tests at a hospital in England before I moved to France and was told that although there was a mass there was also two preveious surgery scars where I had had other lumps removed and there was shadowing but there was no lesion to be seen so a core biopsy was not necessary, that was the radiologist's opinion but the surgeon still wanted to carry on and perform a core biopsy but was talked out of it by the radiologist. So, 18months down the line and I am in another country, I find I am suffering from lobulaire cancer and not only is the mass completely full of cancer but there are cells all over my breast, I am very scared. I was immediately sent to a surgeon here and then straight to an oncologist who started Chemotherpay right away.
I am now approaching my sixth and hopefully final session of Chemo and then I have to have radical surgery which I expect will be around June 20th and then radiotherapy, help, I'm terrified! It was very hard starting the chemotherapy as no-one spoke English, believe me I was so scared not knowing what to expect and not being able to ask about any side-effects. Later on I managed to get an interpreter but only then for about 3 visits. Now I go armed with two dictionaries and a note pad and hope for the best. It was not much fun either trying to look up the translations for prescriptions I was given to help me through the side effcts. I was taking them at the wrong times until I fathomed it all out. Oh boy have I ever needed a sense of humour, you bet? I have now found a wonderful group of people whom I can call on the telephone, they are all ex-pats like me and have jioned together to form a Cancer Support Group for English speaking people and they have been wonderful.
I live in a large forest in a hamlet of just four houses and one dairy farm my French neighbours are and have been so supportive I could not have asked for nicer people to live amongst although there is a language barrier they do not hesitate to visit with me and somehow we manage to communicate.
I do miss my family though who have been wonderful over the telephone and one or two have visited me but I miss my granchildren.
My husband has been wonderful to me but I notice that he also sometimes needs support to help him get through the rough times, we tend to forget the carers don't we.
Is there anyone else out there in the same boat as me? Emma
My daughter has just returned from 2 years living in France with her husband and children (she had her last baby there), so I know how scary it can be. Even if you understand the language, as soon as it becomes medical/technical it becomes impossible to be sure you know what to do.
I have just been diagnosed with angiosarcoma (in the breast) and am waiting to see the consultant to discuss treatment etc. I only found this site yesterday and already feel that I've found friends who understand! My husband is really struggling to accept the reality of the situation, and tried to ban me from using the word "CANCER" but this is what it is and I'm the one who has to come to terms with it.
Good luck with your treatment and keep in touch
Sharry
I wonder what is going on in the heads of some medical personnel. Some are so dedicated and conscientious, and some seem peculiarly incompetent. Unfortnately it is we who suffer! I am sorry that you are being put through this now. You sound as if you are making the very best possible of the worst situation, and I am so glad that you have managed to create some sort of back-up around you. What a time to have to learn a foreign language! Where you live sounds idyllic though, and I am glad that you are able to derive pleasure from this. Blimey! I shouldn't tell us lot about it too much: we're planing our first physical get-together in Derbyshire at the moment, and you don't want 50 crazy people landing on your doorstep next time!
Seriously though, I'm also that the French Healthcare system is up to the job. I understand that all the drugs and treatment are free there. Europe doesn;t seem very United or to have much of a Common policy about healthcare. Someone has said that in Eire, they have to pay even to see their doctor! It's just a shame that in France there is no equivalent of the BC or MacMillan nurses. I hope that you get additional support from this site. There are many many fantastic people on here. The Chat Room can (surprisingly enough) be quite a laugh, so i hope you can join us there. All the very best xxxx Penny
Hi Sharry,
Thank you so much for your kind thoughts, I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis, it must be awful to have to wait to see a consultant, the stress much be intolerable.
I know what you mean about your husband, I have a wonderful husband but he was so devastated when our doctor telphoned him as it was he who had to break the news to me, I will never forget his face. He has been there for me but the only problem I have is that he does not want to talk about the desease with me, it is because he is so very frightened and I bet that is the feeling of your husband too. They seem to shrink back from knowing the ins and outs of it I think they feel that the less they know the quicker it will go out of their mind. My sister died with ovarian cancer just two months before I was diagnosed with breast cancer and her husband has said the same, he just could not talk about the illness with her, he could talk about the treatments though. I think that our carers need so much more support than they get really, they have to be with us and watch us suffer through the treatments and really they feel so helpless and afraid. Give him a cuddle and ask for one back and laugh together, it's hard but my thoughts are with you and let me know when you go to see the consultant what he says will you. Good Luck.
Hi Penny, thank you for your reply, I tell you I could do more than wring the radiologists neck if I could. Still, no use losing anymore sleep over it now, am just getting on with trying to get through this. Right now am on Taxolere Chemo and boy is it a struggle,but, I least on the third week I can get to have a glass fo wine now, phew how I needed that.
Yes it is wonderful here, and no I really don't mind 50 odd wonderful people turning up on my doorstep, just bring your tents though as not enough rooms unless you want to settle down for the night in one of the cow byres ha ha.
It is soooo very good to talk with someone who is also going through this, thank you so much and yes, I am thankful that I am here now.
The French Healthcare System is wonderful,if you have a life threatening disease then yes your treatment for just that disease is free but all other medical issues are not, you have to pay a small percentage of your treatment but you take out whats called a 'Top-Up' insurance policy not expensive and that takes care of most things. Medicines are very cheap as the prices are regulated by the French Government and Pharmacists are allowed to dispense some antibiotics for you. But it is the latest medicines that are available over here that I am so thankfull for.
I hope your meeting in Derbyshire goes well, I used to live not far from there and in fact worked in Bakewell at one time, have a drink for me and have a great time.
Hi Emma I too was diagnosed with breast cancer a few weeks ago and am awaiting treatment.The news, although a shock was not unexpected as my mum has had breast cancer 3 times and I was just waitin on it comin. I know that sounds silly but there it is. However the person who took it the hardest was my hubby, who truelly thought that the lump I had found would turn out to be a cyst. He was devastated , but thankfully after the initial shock he has become a great support. I was concerned that he would feel he had to be strong for me and that he would have no one to talk to.However as word got round his work people he hardly knew came up and offered their advice and support- men who had been in his position, women who had gone through it themselves all came up and spoke to him offering both of us their support.
I made it clear to my hubby and my young daughter from the beginning that there would be up days and down days and mabe I would just need a cuddle and a hankie from them!
I consider myself lucky in that I have a loving family who although they do not live near keep in touch regularly by phone.It is good to hear you have such lovely neighbours and although I have only been on this site for a week I am sure you will both find lots of new friends and support.Best wishes, Jules
Thanks for your kind thoughts. MY poor husband was in such a state, we really are an inseperable couple, now that sounds boring but far from it, we have many great adventures together and in his case it was sheer fright for the future. But he is fine now and we laugh over everything he even calls me Casper as with my white head without hair I look like a ghost first thing in the morning
I am so sorry that you have to go through what your Mum went through, keep positive will you and try to keep smiling which at times I know is easier said than done. I am so glad that I found this site until then I was getting very lonely and my phone bill back to the UK was mounting at a great rate, but now I have lovely people to communicate with as well as my family back home.
keep smiling, Emma xx
Thank you for the reply Emma. Sorry to hear that chemo is hitting hard - however nice glass of wine sounds the perfect antidote! Bakewell is lovely, isn't it? My partner and I used to go walking in the Peak District a lot, and would often end up in Bakewell. Not keen on the tarts though! We all seem to be collating a lot of info about various countries' relative healthcare merits. I felt really sorry for one lady from former Eastern bloc who says oncology care almost non-existent. However I sometimes think politicians rely on us saying, thank goodness for small mercies - rather than rattling their cages to get equal shares for all. Really glad though that you can get all the most innovative drugs - anything that helps yu conquer this!
Jules I am so sorry for your situation. You must have felt like a time-bomb ticking away - and nobody istening to you. It's hard for our partner's isn't it, as they often don't want to face the truth, more so than we ourselves I suspect. You and Sharry will understand when I say that my partner is mostly in denial about my situation, and hates me discussing it. Mercifully at the moment I am continuing to defy the doctors, and we are sharing as much Life as we can.
Good luck to all of you with your treatments and test results. xxx Penny
JUST NEW ON SCENE AND WANTED TO SAY YOUR COMMENTS HELP US . MY HUBBY IS GOING FOR CHEMO AND RADIOTHERAPY ON 3RD JUNE . WE HAV BEEN WAITING 3 MTHS FOR THIS STAGE SO WE R OVER THE CRYING(ALLTHOUGH STILL CAN ) NOW WE WANT TO GET INTO THE TREATMENT . HE HAS LUNG CANCER ALSO PROSTATE . HES 74 YRS OLD SO WE R SO NOT SURE HOW IT WILL EFFECT HIM . I KEEP READING YOUR LETTERS TO GIVE ME SOME ENCOURAGMENT . THANKYOU .GOD BLESS U ALL XXXXXX JOYFULL
We are glad that everyone's comments on here have helped you a bit. Yes, it can feel when you are first diasnosed that everyone else in the world is blooming with health and you are the only one. I know we strike up conversations whilst sitting in the RT queue, or people hooked us next to us on chemo, but they can be a bit fleeting - sometimes don't see the same person twice. Here you have a real group of regulars, and we all get to share not only info, tips, and encouragement, but also to see everyone's "journey" evolve. Now I want to wish you and your husband all the very best for 3rd June. These three months must have felt like 3 years! Well, almost there, and then hopefully that horrible thing will be zapped and chased out of your husband's body! Lots of love xxxx Penny
I have just read your story and can only ditto everything everyone has already said.
You and your hubby must have an amazing inner strength that you are probably not aware of, to have been able to get this far, when in another country with a language barrier. I do hope the hardest part is almost over and you will soon be able to get back to enjoying your beautiful home without anymore worries.
