Just diagnosed and scared

I think what you are feeling is absolutely NORMAL. I won't ramble on, because you'll soon get replies from other BC people, but I think everyone with cancer newly diagnosed goes through the most intensified emotional upheaval. Yes, mixture of get-on-and-get-it-over, also why-me-why-now?, I'm-going-to-wake-up-any-minute-from-this-nightmare, and a potent mix of tears, kindly meant but sometimes irritating advice from people who haven't been through it, and terror about one's life suddenly having spun out of control.

I just want to wish you all the best, and let you know that the people on here are really great. There is the chatroom, and you can just dive in and say Hi - everyone will welcome you. Busier in evening - in fact we are often still there at 11.30pm, because it's so nice to talk to them! xxxx Lots of love and hugs, Penny

Hiya

I was diagnosed 7th feb and had a mastectomy with reconstruction on the first of April. The extent of my cancer took a few more tests to confirm so I had six weeks from diagnosis to op. This really bothered me at first but I was reassured that the wait was not going to make matters worse. The time has flown and in the meantime I was able to meet wonderful people on this site who were in the same, similar or completely different situations. I am more or less over the op now which scared the hell out of me and am about to start treatment. On the day of the op I thought I might bottle it and start frothing at the mouth with fear and panic but when I was assigned my bed I met the team, anaesthetist and the two surgeons (first one for the mastectomy part, then the plastic surgeon to put me back together!)they were great and actually looking forward to getting started! Their confidence and demeanour put me right at ease, they are used to these situations it is us who are not.
Don't feel there are any questions you can't ask at any time. I had the number of the breast clinic and was able to phone in any time before my op to check anything or allay any concerns. If you don't have a number already ask about who the breast care nurses are and get their numbers.
Once you have had the op again don't worry about asking for what you need. A happy patient heals better and will be home sooner so if you are in pain or feel nauseous tell them.
Also be prepared to rest big time. I am 5 weeks on from my op now and overdid it this week coz I felt fine. The anaesthetic I was told can take weeks or longer to leave your system which I didn't realise and I still get a tiredness that comes on suddenly, but a catnap or feet up with a cuppa usually sorts it out.
Its a big deal all this cancer stuff and overwhelms the strongest of us but be assured that there are people here to talk to and who can listen to your concerns, including the medical staff who everyone raves about. Feel free to pop me a private message if you want to know more about what I had done etc.
Its a life changer and treats for yourself and partner will work wonders, spoil yourselves and accept help when its offered. Good luck and I look forward to conversing further. Take it one step at a time, my brain has been bombarded with info from the beginning and I am still processing most of it! There are no rights and wrongs as to how we feel or deal with this and you will hear more cliches in the next few weeks than you ever have!!
Welcome to the site
DianeA

Hi Joyousone
I'm 'newish' here too, diagnosed with BC at Easter. It's a bumpy road when it comes to emotions - two months in and I still can't believe I have cancer.
This site is absolutely brilliant for support though,the other members are so supportive of each other. I too joined this site just after being diagnosed because despite being surrounded by loving people, I felt I had nowhere to turn. I am forever in debt to the people that sent me those first messages, they made me realise I was not alone - far from it.
People on this site not only understand but genuinely care.
Stay positive and keep smiling and keep this site on your favourites.
You are going to make new friends !
Sharon X

I was diagnosed with DCIS following a routine mammogram in January. I was devasted to be told I needed surgery. I literally fell apart. I have since had breast conservation surgery, and am currently undergoing a course of radiotherapy.
I don't know what area you live in, but I have found my breast care nurse and the local support group have been wonderfully supportive. If you are as lucky as me to have such people around you, then talk to them. They understand more than anyone. I have phoned if I just feel down, and they are always there for me.
Just remember this is a journey. I am nowhere near the end yet, but I have travelled partway down the road. And I am sure that at the end of our respective journeys we will all have realised the priorities in our lives, and be better people for our experience.

It was so good to hear from those who are a little further down this rocky road than I am.
To-day I've been to talk with the Breast Care nurses and I found them hugely supportive, they answered all of my many questions and were so kind. I took a list and note book with me ( something I hadn't thought of doing until I read about it here )and I've been able to update family and friends with hard facts.
I have Stage 2 ER Positive Breast Cancer and the breast cancer team tell me my consultant opts for the sledgehammer to crack a nut approach!
I've been told that reconstruction won't be done immediately and that I'll have to wait until my chemotherapy is complete - so I'm sure I'll feel very odd for many months.
Am now feeling calmer, more positive and a lot less hysterical than I was.
Thank you for your help and sensible suggestions to be kind to myself and my partner; I tend to forget he has taken this news as badly as I have.

I am so glad you feel calmer. And you are quite right, don't forget your partner. My husband has been wonderful throughout my nightmare, and we all need our own particular rock to lean on.
Do cosset yourself. That is important. Don't overdo things - listen to your body. And if you are anything like me, you will have good days and bad days. Just try to remember on a bad day, it is perfectly normal in your situation to be emotional. And don't be afraid to reach out to people for support.
I give you my every good wish for the future.

For your initial welcome and the subsequent message asking how I was, it is very thoughtful.

I have had my surgery and am now feeling good, regular trips to the hospital for the draining of my wound are a pain but only a minor irritation.

I had my results this week and they're mixed, my cancer is stage two which is good, but has spread to one of my lymph nodes - not so good!
I have seen the oncologist to-day and can expect to start chemotherapy in two weeks time.

I'm not looking forward to the treatment, but then who would? However, I'm nowhere near as scared as I was when I first got my diagnosis and came here looking for information and support. So many people sent messages of support and stories of their own personal battle with this disease, it helped me to feel less alone.

My husband continues to be a great source of comfort and amusement, we're off to get my wig next week - god help the poor shop owner!

I think you were incredibly brave to opt for an immediate reconstruction, I'm not sure I would have had the strength to do it straight away.

I am being kind to myself, as you've suggested and resting if I need to, but am also trying to build up my strength for what's to come - long walks and a healthier diet to get me fighting fit.

I'll stay in touch as my treatment progresses - can't work out how to get my name on this comment page in the right field...such a technophobe

Joyousone

Hi Joyousone, I was diagnosed with breast cancer in November and had my op in Dec, luckely they only had to remove the lump and lymph glands but they took 29 and found cancer in 4, i to was very scared, not so much about the operation but it was the chemo that i was afraid of, infact at one stage i refused to have it, my husband took me to the chemo nurse and he was great explained every thing to me, i had 3 lots of FEC followed by 3 Taxotare, the first lot was ok, loosing my hair was the worse thing but the people on site really helped me to deal with it. I also had problems with veins as they couldnt get the chemo in so i had a hickman line fitted, i want pretend the taxotare was easy because it wasnt, and i had alot of problems, but once again the people hear helped me. I finally finished last monday and now just have the radio then hopefully it will all be over. What i am trying to say is you will have your good days and your bad days and everyone is differant, some people sail though it while others find it more difficult, but what ever applies to you you will get through it, just keep thinking of good times to come, spoil yourself and do what your body tells you if you are tied, rest, when you want to shout and scream do so and always remember you are not alone and you will get through it, i never thought i would cope but i have and i feel a much stronger and thoughtful person. The people on here are great and you can pour your heart out because we all know what its like. I hope everything goes well for you, please keep me posted, i done it so can you, sending many hugs, carol2xxxx

Hi Carol2

Your words are kind and wise; you've been there and your knowledge helps me feel less fearful. Note here - less fearful means not vomiting with panic and sheer terror!!!!

I'm waiting to hear whether I've been selected for a trial, so not sure when I find out if I have been - presumably when I start it in two weeks time. My visit to the chemo centre this week did nothing to calm my nerves, perhaps the intention was to prepare me for the worst?

I'm interested to know all about your radiotherapy, as I'll be following you down that route too.

Did you have much pain in your arm following surgery? I feel like I am sunburnt from armpit to elbow and nurses don't seem to be that concerned about it.

hope treatment goes well

joyousone x

Hi hope you are feling much better. I have just sat here and typed a great long letter, just got to the end and must have touched wrong key cause it all dissapeard you may get it but dont think you will. So here goes lets hope it works this time. (if you do anything wrong just blame it on the chemo, you can get away with murder). When i first had my op my arm felt heavy and strange, it had 2 bottles for drainage and that felt strange, I had my op in Dec and it stills feels numb on the side of my boob under my arm and half way down my arm, if i get an itch i cant feel me scratching it, sometimes it gets hot and abit sore but nothing to worry about. I was more afraid about chemo than the op, but now it is over i think it could have been worse, i was helped alot by people here, it didnt help due to having hickman line fitted and that getting infected, but as i said before everyone is different and whatever side effects you get there is always something they will give you, i found eating abit of crystalised ginger helped when i felt abit sick, rest when you are tied, forget housework, get fresh air,do exactly what your body tells you to. I start radio 25thJune not sure if its for 4 or 5 weeks every day to Guys, and will let you know how it goes, i have been told its a doddle, when i look back i never thought i would get through it but i have and so has loads of other people and you will. YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS. YOU WILL GET BETTER AND IF YOU LOOSE YOUR HAIR IT WILL GROW BACK. Look in the mirrow and tell yourself it only for a short time its not going to last. And remember if you do have down days there is always someone on here and we all look after each other we all know what this awfull thing does to us, and always someone to chear you up. I will be thinking of you and sending my love and hugs. Chemo is not as bad as you think. Please keep intough and let me know how things are going for you, and remember it will soon be over.Love and hugs carol2xx