New and scared

Hi Toughtime

a warm welcome to the group. So sorry to hear about all that is going on with your mum.

I supported my late husband through the three years of his stage 4 brain tumours journey so I can empathise with your situation. It's so hard to know how to keep them comfortable and what to do for the best.

Have you been introduced to your local palliative care team?  If not please speak to your mum's GP as they should be able to support with keeping her as pain free as possible.

I'm not big on giving advice. Everyone's situation is unique but please be guided  by what your mum wants and is capable of. Take this cruel journey a day at a time. Timescales are ones I have an uneasy relationship with as G blew every timescale we were given out of the water. I feel its easier to think that this journey will last as long as its meant to last.

This is a safe and supportive space so please reach out here anytime. There's always someone about to listen who gets it, someone to hold your hand and to offer a virtual hug when its needed. You're not alone. We've got you.

It’s always good to talk so please remember that you can also call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.

For now though I'm sending you a huge virtual hug and lots of strength

love n hugs

Wee Me xx

Sorry to hear your story.  Sadly, it comes to us all, but that doesn't make it any easier to bear.

I also have a prognosis of months following kidney cancer which spread to my brain.  I'm targeting my silver wedding anniversary next July....

I always think the best advice is not to give any.  I can only tell you how I feel.  I want to rely on my medical team for advice on medication and treatment.  Thoughts from family and friends are all well intended, but often unhelpful.  And I want to do as much as possible for myself and others, such as helping write the Christmas cards today.  I know it is easier for other people and I'm a bit slow, I just need people to be patient.  It helps me feel I'm not finished yet. 

It's also nice to have something to look forward to.  I'm still able to get out to the cinema or theatre.  But even when I'm not going anywhere, I look forward to an evening of streaming on Netflix or Now TV.  And I look forward to visitors.

I've no idea whether any of this is relevant or helpful.  Probably the best thing I can do is offer virtual hugs.  Stay strong.

Hi , I'm newly diagnosed G4 ...... thanks for putting your thoughts down for us to read . I just find it impossible to bel positive. It's totally wrong I know and not productive but find it impossible 

I think you are giving her help just by being there for her. I am sure that the doctors have given her what pain killers they can but it could be worth asking again. Stay with it.

Iit helps just to know there are people that understand and a safe place I can come when I need a little strength boost, I try to only show mum a smile. I am seeing her GP tomorrow so will ask about the palliative care  and thank you. 

I’m so patient with mum, I make sure I let her do everything she wants to even if take 10 times longer, it took 30 minutes to write a 3 word text but the sense of achievement and happiness on her face was worth every second. All the family make sure they call in for coffee and give mum 100% attention so thank you for the reply I feel better knowing that what I’m doing is probably the best thing I can right now. 

Thank you. Everyone has been so supportive here it’s just comforting to know I have support and perhaps can offer support