Im 30 years old and I recently found out that I have a grade 2 astrocytoma located in my right frontal lobe. I lost my mother to a glioblastoma 5 years ago. She had 3 brain surgeries and was taking clinical trial drugs just to prolong her life. She lived 2 years after she was diagnosed and exceeded the initial 8-10 month life expectancy she was given upon diagnosis. She developed aphasia due to the location of her tumor and she had some trouble moving her arm which i believe may have been a side effect of the drugs she was taking. I remember her being so frustrated with herself not be able to say what she meant and not being able to do things she once easily could do because of her arm. I loved her so much and watching her regress over those 2 years was traumatizing to me. That being said, Im honestly petrified of what is next for me. I know my diagnosis is much more treatable than a glioblastoma and that I may still be able to live a long life. I have surgery coming up to remove as much of the tumor as possible and then the plan is to start taking idh inhibitors to hopefully slow/stop the growth of anything that couldn't be removed during surgery. Im really afraid that I won't be the same after surgery though. For instance, maybe i won't think of certain things the same way or maybe I will have relearn doing something that's easy for me now. I also fear that I may need multiple surgeries if the drugsarent effective. I just dont think Im strong enough mentally to endure it all. I have become severely depressed since I was diagnosed. I stopped working and Im no longer able to drive. I feel like all I do is sit in bed lately thinking about my cancer and I get flashbacks of what my mom went through. Also, my friends and family are just different towards me. I feel like all we talk about lately is either about treatment, new research, or how I am feeling. My cancer just seems to be the main topic day to day. I just hate that I make my loved ones worry.
Im just not coping with it all very well and I would love some advice on how to make it easier to deal with. And it may be helpful to hear of any similar experiences to mine.
Thank you <3
Hi FCancer
a warm welcome to the online community. I can see that some of the others have already made you feel at home.
My experience lies in supporting my late husband through his GBM journey so I can understand why you are fearing the worst here after your experiences with your mum.
No two journeys are the same. Everyone is unique. Your diagnosis isn't the same as your mum's was.
Have you spoken to your medical team or even your GP about how you are feeling? If not, I'd encourage you to speak to them. They are there to support you and help answer and questions or allay any concerns you have. If you don't explain to them how you feel, you're putting them on the backfoot a bit. Have they discussed counselling with you?
This is a safe and supportive space as you've already seen. There's always someone about to listen who gets it, someone to hold your hand and to offer a virtual hug when its needed. You're not alone. We've got you.
It’s always good to talk so please remember that you can also call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
love n hugs
Wee Me xxx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
