Hello,
Not sure really what I'm after. My best friend has a brain tumor for a few years but in January it was diagnosed stage 4 terminal. I spent the weekend with her boys and I keep thinking she has to make it. I know she won't make it to Christmas as sadly she now is loosing her sight, her balance and sleeps alot. She is on steroids so she isn't the same physically. She also keeps talking our future trips we will do with our families which is heartbreaking as she doesn't or can't realize. She is in a hospice but goes home during the weekend days. She can't be left alone as she is danger to herself. She thinks she is in a care home as she broke her arm after falling. She keeps telling me she isn't sick and wants to go home.
I feel broken. Thank you for reading
Fiona
HI Fiona B
a warm welcome to the group. So sorry to hear about what your friend and you are going through. Its such a cruel rollercoaster journey.
I'm supporting my husband who was diagnosed with a stage 4 glioblastoma in Sept 2020 so I can empathise with the emotions you are going through.
Its hard on those around the person when they start looking forward to events you think they'll never live to see. My husband does the same. He is of the opinion that there's nothing wrong with him yet and can't or won't understand why we are concerned about him. I sometimes feel that his denial of the situation is his coping mechanism but he can't see its tearing the rest of us apart. I've learned to just humour him. He was given 12-15months back in Sept 2020 and is still physically really fit. Mentally less so and I appreciate that it just takes one seizure or massive stroke and he could be gone any day. (That was kind of hard to get my head round) but it easier to just go along with his plans...and then wait and see if they actually happen. It keeps him calmer and give him something to look forward to.
Not sure if this helps you or not. I hope it does. There's no easy way to cope with these horrible situations but I try to be led by what he needs/wants/believes (within reason). I guess what I'm saying is let your friend talk about these dream trips as its probably keeping her going , giving her hope, even though its breaking your heart.
Sending you a huge virtual hug. This is far from easy but you'll get through it - we've really no other choice.
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
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