Hi everyone
I am new to this so please bear with me.
My beautiful, kind, caring, amazing 52 year old sister was diagnosed with a stage 3 Anaplastic Astrocytoma in August 2020. There are no words to describe the shock, terror and other emotions that hit our family, and continue to do so. As the eldest of three children, a Social Worker and a Counsellor, I was quick to be solution focused and support her and her husband, attending appointments with the Consultant surgeons and Oncologists at Addenbrookes, writing letters, researching, raising money for Brain Tumour Research, etc. absolutely anything they need. Every 3 months she has an MRI to see if the tumour has grown or spread and this is torture. My sisters prognosis is unknown, we do not know how many years she has left, and what the future will look like for her, her husband and three children. We are all thinking positively and live life to the maximum but I am realistic and know that as this is an aggressive tumour and it's not going away.
What do I need to prepare for is a big question for me? My whole family rely on me to have the answers, take control and make things better. How do people deal with all the feelings of helplessness, guilt, sadness and utter despair when watching someone they love suffer?
Hi Scorpion04
a warm welcome to the community. So sorry to hear about your sister's diagnosis. My husband was diagnosed with a stage 4 Glioblastoma in Sept 2020 so I get it. Nothing, absolutely nothing, prepares you for the shock and emotions surrounding the diagnosis.
Like you I feel as though I need to be strong for my family only in this case its my kids, now aged 22 and 24. Until recently we've been on that 3 monthly rollercoaster but at the last appointment the oncologist agreed to a 6 month break between appointments and MRIs.
I wish I had the answers to give you but everyone's experience is different. No two tumours are the same and they don't have the same impact either as there are so many factors that can and do influence things. Personally I take each day as I find it. If its a rough day, I'll break it down into chunks of time and work my way through the day. Throughout as a family we've been open and honest with each other as far as possible. There's absolutely nothing wrong in saying I don't know what's going to happen but we'll get through it together. This is a new scary rollercoaster ride for us all. I'm sure your family will understand that you don't always have all the answers because with tumours no one has all the answers.
This community is a really supportive safe place to reach out so please feel free to vent as much as you need to here. You might also want to check out (+) Carers only forum - Macmillan Online Community. I've found both groups really helpful.
It’s always good to talk so please also remember that you can call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
For now I'm sending you a huge virtual hug. Stay strong. Stay positive.
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
