Thank you for accepting me to group. My stepdad is having palative care. He had cancer removed 8 years ago from behind his eye and lost his eye. They told us the cancer he had was very rare and they don’t know much about it. 2 years later they found it in the neck. For the past 4 years he been good. Start of this year he was feeling poorly constant headache but because of covid couldn’t get seen or have mri. He finally had mri September and got results 6 weeks ago. It had gone to the brain and unfortunately he can’t have any treatment just palative care.
it’s heartbreaking watching him in pain and watching my mum watch her partner of 30 years fade.
I’m there every step of the way for them both but if I’m honest I’m struggling inside but trying to hold it together for them and not show my tears. We are hoping we see Christmas together. They have told us we have short months, whatever that means.
im so scared, thanks for reading. I just feel so alone, my older brother doesn’t help at all
Hi Brighteyes1000
a warm welcome to you. So sorry to hear about what your stepdad and you all as a family are going through. It's so hard and cruel to watch.
For my part, its my husband who was given a terminal diagnosis in Sept 2020 due to a grade 4 brain tumour so I can empathise with what you are going through through. We've been together for 33 years and married for 26 of those.
Don't be too hard on yourself here. The tears and the emotions are all perfectly normal and I'm sure they understand. It's an emotional time for everyone involved. Everyone handles these situations differently. There's no right or wrong way to feel. We just feel.
Sometimes I wonder if "short months" is the new NHS buzz phrase in these situations. We're in the same situation. I guess doctors are scared to suggest a more definitive timescale in case they get it wrong. We were told my husband had a "few short months" back in March and he's still physically very fit. Mentally is a different story.
Personally I'd try to put the timeframe to the back of your mind and enjoy and appreciate each day/week/month that you have together. Nothing is promised or guaranteed here. Make the memories.
This group has been very supportive of me over the past year or so. There's always someone around who "gets it". Always someone to offer that virtual hug when you need one. Always someone to reach out to.
It’s always good to talk so do call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
sending you a huge virtual hug. Stay strong.
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
