My dad

My dad was a fit and healthy 80 year old in June with a full head of hair (none of it grey!) In fact on his 80th birthday he went for a haircut, and mentioned that today was a “big birthday” the hairesser guessed he was 60, and was so blown away he was 80, she didn’t charge him!

Two weeks later he had 2 cardiac arrests, and nearly died. At one point he found himself floating on the ceiling looking down on paramedics giving him CPR. After being fitted with a pacemaker he had a new lease of life and felt he’d been brought back for a reason.

Shortly after, he started getting very confused and very emotional, having ‘blank’ moments and finding it hard to work things out and remember stuff. We went to A&E thinking maybe he’d had a stroke or it was early onset dementia. All tests negative.

Then in early September, after continual crying and confusion, my sister took him to A&E again where they gave him a CT scan and discovered a 6x4x4 tumour on the right side of his brain. It explained a lot. Then after an MRI they found another. He was diagnosed with Stage 4 Glioblastoma. We were all devastated.

So now we are around 7 weeks after diagnosis. He can’t have any surgery or treatment due to the advanced stage. He’s on meds to help shrink the tumours but not to prolong his life. He was given 2 months to live in early September, we could lose him any day now.

I’m angry at the cards he’s been dealt. He had no headaches or other symptoms prior to this diagnosis. What should we have looked for? What were we missing? He ate healthily, rarely drank alcohol, never smoked and was very active. The only thing I can think of is he stood in front of his microwave most mornings while his porridge cooked. Or is it just the luck of the draw?

So now we’re thinking ahead and talking about raising funds for a funeral, power of attorney, online banking, transparency of household bills, selling the house….I could never have predicted what was round the corner 4 months ago. I realise he is 80, but didn’t expect this.

My mum and dad will have been married 60 years next year. They are still in love My mum is numb, she can’t really take in what’s happening. It’s also mentally and physically draining. My dad can barely walk now, he sleeps nearly all day. The carers started coming this week to try and give us all a break. They said how lovely he was as he is so thankful and grateful for everything. Our saving grace is that he is in no pain, just confused and very tired.

I joined this forum today to share my story with you and to read other experiences. I feel for you all. Thank you for taking the time to read