my son ben

This patient underwent awake craniotomy and radical debulking of a right frontal grade 3 anaplastic oligodendroglioma

I have been asked to provide a letter to confirm that unfortunately this patient has a multiple-focal malignant primary brain tumour. He will undergo radiotherapy and chemotherapy but I am afraid in line with the formal histological result there is no prospect of cure of this tumour and the patient's life expectancy is likely to be 10 years or less

My Son

19.09.21

Ben 

Feeling helpless is normal, the cordite of formal, where do you turn when you prop up the home

Other than the peace and quiet of being alone

The same answers to the well-meaning others, the rehearsed regurgitation of the fluff in their pillows

The sterile shiny corridors of hapless smiles, the thunder of footsteps on the endless green miles

The royal engineers we both served proud, my son in my footsteps, the core boxer aloud

The bravery of him, in every way, grade three plastic something of his protective sway

His eyes of sorrow mixed with his comforting wing, allows me sometimes to unbelieve, the undeniable thing

That maybe its wrong and why the fuck him

We cannot be angry and say why me, when life is as simple as a can of baked beans

Why not me, and I’m glad its not you, because ill be stronger having just having that view

I write this knowing its not me its you

If I could change it Ben, I would give my last for you

To everyone here, I wish you love and strength

Bens dad x 

We are not alone