Hi,
I have been struggling increasingly with what I believe to be some kind of PTSD. I had my surgery in March this year followed by a month long hospital stay. It was an incredibly difficult time and there were several instances of mistreatment. I have been getting on with my recovery, doing all that I can, but being slowed down by an unrelated back injury. More recently I have started to have these intense episodes of overwhelming flashbacks and emotional distress that are brought on by visual triggers. For example: Acne on my chest reminding me of the chest acne I got from when I was on steroids in hospital, looking at the teddy bears I had with me in hospital reminding me of being there, someone sitting next to me in bed reminding me of being in hospital. There are more things but when this happens it brings it all alive again and I feel like I’m actually there and the main thought in my mind is ‘please don’t make me do anything I don’t want to do’. I can remember begging nurses to give me the care I needed and them not helping me, especially relating to using the bathroom. I was dropped one time during a wheelchair to bed transfer and left unattended and almost hit my head when I fainted this one time. There are so many difficult things that happened and it made me feel so unsafe and now I burst into tears whenever I step foot in a hospital because it brings it all back.
I have tried talking to my friends about some of my struggles but I am never able to fully talk about what I need to because the weight of what I went through is too much for them to handle. I am in my early 20s and I think most people my age haven’t had to go through anything like this and so It feels incredibly isolating. I have also had my driving licence suspended for a year and probably won’t be able to go back to university in September, which leaves me at home feeling incredibly lonely.
I would appreciate any response about this as I just feel incredibly alone in my struggle and don’t know anyone who has gone through anything similar
