Good evening,
Been to see my mam, I noticed yesterday that she had a type of bruise on her jaw line, tonight she got the same colour on her ankles and feet, they weren't there yesterday.
She's getting worse, doesn't matter what I say or do. She doesn't like it, she absolutely fine with the carers.
She keeps saying I can't go on like this she wants to go to sleep, I says go to sleep. It's so awkward being there as I don't know what to do. Can someone help me out I'm literally falling apart here, and drained.
Never heard from palliative nurse since Tuesday. I know there were planning on getting a phycologist in to speak to my mam, have no clue when that will be I don't know what meds she's on. I know they upped her pain meds.
It's like a guessing game I'm literally at the end, I don't know what to do next someone help me
Xxx
Oh Magpie26, its so hard to watch this part of the journey. It's beyond heart breaking.
If the bruising, colour change, is concerning you, ask that a Dr checks it out. We're not medical experts and I worked to the theory that if something was worrying me then I would query it. If nothing else it might give you peace of mind a little.
That's not good that you didn't get hold of the palliative nurse. Hopefully she/he will be in touch soon. Might be an idea to jot down all the questions you have for them to help make sure you don't forget to ask about something that's important to you.
Towards the end with G, I had to try to detach myself from some of my emotions. I was exhausted - mentally, physically and emotionally. You reach a stage where it is beyond cruel to watch this unfold but for me the key thing was "Is he calm?" As long as G was calm then I could just about cope with things as they unravelled slowly.
I appreciate that it seems too hard to keep going some days just now but your success rate of getting through tough days is pretty good. You've made it through 100% of them so far and trust me, you will make it through whatever is to come. I found inner strength that I never knew was possible and you have it in you too for when you really need it.
sending you a huge virtual hug and lots of patience and strength.
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
HI
glad to hear today was a better day.
What tattoo are you planning? I got 3 after G passed- not that he would have approved of any of them.
Hope you manage to speak to the palliative nurse tomorrow and that tomorrow is another good day. And if it isn't...well maybe Tuesday will be easier. One day at a time.
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
I got a tattoo.
A positive image of the tree of life on my brain. Because I’m still going !
