Friends distancing themselves?

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m here if you want to talk x

Probably harder I think the younger you are. Terrible news doesn’t sit well with people who haven’t thought about mortality much. OTOH you’ll find your genuine friends will be closer.

if you have any questions or want to talk about treatment, I’m usually around 

HI eljane98

a warm welcome to the online community. So sorry to hear about all that you are going through.

I supported my late husband through his three year Glioblastoma journey and although I'm on the other side of the equation here, I can relate to what you're saying. I was surprised by the reactions of some people around me - mainly colleagues rather than my close circle of friends. It's true what they say about finding out who the stars are in your life when you're in darker times.

There will be an element of folk not knowing what to say to you and a general lack of understanding on their part of the whole situation but perhaps you need to be more direct with them and say clearly that you need them to be "normal" with you.

I did that with one close friend. Their instant reaction when I told them about G's diagnosis was "sorry I don't know what to say or what to do to help". I agreed there wasn't much to say but was clear that the best support that they could give me was to treat me as normal. They did and still do and I will be eternally grateful to them for being there for me.

At the end of the day, your friends are possibly scared that they upset you by saying the wrong thing. You need to let them know that that's ok and there is no right or wrong thing to say.

This is a safe and supportive space so please reach out here anytime. There's always someone around to listen who gets it (friends don't always get it), someone to hold your hand and to offer a virtual hug when its needed. You're not alone. We've got you.

Sending you a huge virtual hug and lots of positive energy.

love n hugs

Wee Me xx

This happened to me with some close family as well so please know that you're definitely not on your own and you have lots of support from us all on here x 

Hi Eljane98, sorry to hear of your diagnosis.  In answer to your question, I do think cancer ghosting is a real thing. It’s not just an experience unique to you.  

My husband was diagnosed earlier this year.  Some friends have been amazing and really shown their continued support.  Continued being the operative word here.  Others, however, whom I thought would be there have 'faded away’.  I think there’s no bad intent.  Some people think you need space and feel they may be intruding at such a difficult time, as you have pointed out.  It’s also so hard for people unaffected by illness to begin to understand just what you’re going through.  Concentrate on those friends who are there for you and draw support from your family who will always be there no matter what.  Don’t forget too that there’s always the opportunity to make new friends.  I’ve actually told friends and colleagues that the worst thing they can do is stay away or not text.  If you keep reinforcing you still want carry on as normal, it may help the more reticent of your friends to resurface.  

Here for you too.  Xx

1. Hey.  Also just been diagnosed following a craniotomy on 27th August.  Saw oncologist yesterday and now faced eith 6wks of radiotherapy and up to a year of chemotherapy.  Pretty overwhelmed too, very new to this but here if I csn help or if you want to connect, Ali