How to move on

  • 3 replies
  • 36 subscribers
  • 598 views

I have a diagnosis of terminal brain tumour, which at present affects my memory and balance. Cannot remember anything about my treatment or what the doctor call my cancer. My son has pictures of me in hospital, where apparently I stayed for three months, I thought to get me home to live my apparently  last three months that was over a year ago. Since my wife of over 38 years has left me saying she doesn’t love me anymore. I think because I am still going it through a spanner in her works, she left to live with an old boyfriend who wife has left him. So now settling in a new flat , have brilliant careers twice a day, at present it provides someone to talk to over coffee. 
My children are there for me, but they have thier own life and families, I will turn 61 in March. Life is hard not be able to drive etc, but can cooked and look after myself. Still find my feelings for my x and the pack of lies she have used to leave me, hard to deal with. I think she have used these lies to make it easier for her when telling people why she’s has left. Keep thinking about the wedding vowels of in sickness or health we both agreed to thirty eight years ago. The other thing is her dad died at the beginning of this year, she announced her leaving after he had gone. Got lovely grandkids which is a great reason to keep going. Yes life is lonely and a night cannot get my old life to come back. The memory loss makes things hard not knowing how I got like this, but can remember the good times before that when I met my wife and having our children. But not knowing how I ended up like this makes things harder and keeps me thinking that my x using this to her advantage. I know I got to move on, but having to rely on people for support, lifts etc makes moving on harder. If and went my tumour starts again been told it will take me, that hard too get my head around. I think it’s harder because do not remember anything of how my tumour started and the affects etc.

  • Hi  

    Moving on after cancer treatment can be difficult and I wondered if you'd thought about joining the life after cancer forum where you can chat to people who have finished treatment about things like the physical and emotional after effects of cancer, returning to work, or trying to move on with your life.

    If this interests you, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here.

    You might also find this article about After the Treatment Finishes - Then What interesting to read.

    Community Champion Badge

     "Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"

  • Hi.  Please don't hesitate to ask the people around you for help or let them know that you are lonely at times and what you might need to make life easier.  Connecting with people is very important.  I hear what you're saying about your kids having their own lives, but they might be able to work out some kind of rota so you can have someone to spend time with on an evening for example.  Friends may be able to help to provide support and spend time with you, too.  I hope you can take time for the things you enjoy doing and do them.  If you don't wish to discuss the things that are on your mind with family or friends, the Macmillan helpline offer emotional support, too.

  • Thank you for your reply, most of my help comes from my son who’s living close to me. Both my daughters live away from me. So feeling to give him a rest come from. He’s got three children, oldest daughter has two girls and youngest is pregnant with her first. Which makes 6 brilliant grandchildren. If I could still drive I would visit my two girls. All three have e worked hard and have good careers. Which I am sure came from my blood. 
    Thanks