Hi, new to the group.

It doesnt sound daft. Same boat as you. Similar wild thoughts here too. Random thoughts and emotions. Waiting for scan next week, biopsy results them MDT meeting. Then face the answers.

Sometimes hope, sometimes intense fear and sadness. Sometimes think maybe not as bad as I imagine. To then thinking what it its worse than that. Sometimes like its not real and I am observing. Lot of researching - 9/10 makes me more scared trying to guess.

I have elderly guinea pigs and they were elderly when my Dad died two years ago. I found myself wondering if they will outlive me and if so they will need rehoming. Same for selfish but loved cats. If there is an after life how can it be happy place if I am separared from my children. I wont have to pay council tax or work until I am 68. I havent done enough fun things. I have prioritised everything but myself. I have worked hard and had many battles. Tired before I start. I havent eaten well. Hot dogs are bad and so is being overweightt. Ironically now to have low fibre diet. Wouldnr be maybe here in tne shoes if I did thar in first place.  I have made mistskes that I am ashamed of. I am tired and have been for years. Is there any point putting new curtains up or doing my garden? 

You rescued doggy when in control. Now feel not in control and maybe transferring fear and uncertainty onto doggy cos see his position is similar to ours. Scarey, not settled or certsin. Crazy thoughts. 

Anyway know you are not alone in situation.

K 

Hi K,

Wow, spot on. I know dogs can pick up on certain illnesses and wonder if she has picked this up because when we are out she hardly leaves my side and when she does she always watches me. She is so settled in the house, she is a sensitive girl compared to my 4 previous gsd.

Good luck with scan, biopsy results and MDT meeting. How long did you have to wait for your scan?

I have scan tomorrow. Have asked they dont tell me anything about it until they also have the bottom line. Really scared. Its strange people around me- family and yet feel nobody in my shoes.  I am waiting for biopsy and scan result to become available. Had colonoscopy and could see screen-  said it looked like it had been there a while and that thinks the biopsy will confirm the fears. So dont want half answers anymore. Want the full answer. Absolutely terrified x 

Today now poochie is loved and safe- apparently we are to focus on the here and the now. Quite tricky x

Good luck tomorrow, I have my scan on 11th August, won`t be discussed at MDT meeting until the following week or could be the week after if scan results not checked in time. They hope the biopsy results will be ready by then. Should then have an appt within 2 weeks to discuss outcome.

• a week and two days waiting for scan.

19 days waiting for scan, that is counting the weekends. I know the colonoscopy clinic runs at the weekends if there is a back log. Thought the ct scan would have been the same.

So sorry for your wait. Sadly all hospitals have different times scales. But you can ring the cancer line at you hospital and push ?

I got mine done in a 3 week window which is fast. I had letters via nhs app 

Hi, I have been allocated a colorectal nurse specialist and she gave me the date , haven`t yet received the letter. She did say if I didn`t receive the letter this week then she would chase it up for me.

That was great, the hanging about and waiting is the worst part. Scotland don`t have an NHS app, apparently it is being rolled out? I did get an email from the Patient Hub, only think on it was a dermatology appointment, bit pointless.I had a couple of tests years ago and they weren`t put on the system.