New here and looking for support , my husband has colostomy and has issues

Hi Greekgirl welcome to the forum though that situation for you sounds really challenging. I think the right thing to do is exactly what you have done and book to see the stoma nurse. I think you need to be honest with them as to what happens with alcohol otherwise this is likely to continue. Can you talk to hubby about how this leaves you feeling? I hope that you manage to get some resolve for you. Best wishes Gail x

Thank you Gail

I have spoken to him, he denies the leaks are connected to alcohol ( as he can have them at other times times too) 

I know he won’t give up drinking, so I’m at a loss

Hi Greekgirl and sending you a big virtual hug. We all like to have a drink on holiday but when you have a stoma it means that less liquid is absorbed during the course of the day so more liquid in means more liquid out. I had a stoma for 15 months before having it reversed and I can remember my bag/pouch filling up pretty quickly if I drank alcohol. 
Your husband is probably reluctant to limit his drinking so maybe we need to look at damage limitation? Are the leaks occurring because the bag is getting too full or is it pulling away from his skin? A few thoughts are

Empty the bag every hour/2 hours and set an alarm in the night if necessary - alcohol can induce a heavy sleep so he might not be aware of the bag becoming overfull

Put an incontinence mat under him at night. A former member on here also used to tape a puppy training pad around his middle just in case (you can get these cheaply at Poundland) 

 Very liquid output can be messy to dispose of so encourage him to put toilet paper into the bowl before emptying so as to minimise it splashing everywhere.

If the leakages are happening because the bag is pulling away from his skin then you can get little banana shaped sticky strips to add extra adhesion so you could maybe ask his stoma nurse about these?

Does he have special underwear with pockets to support the bag? If you’re in the UK (but unfortunately not Scotland) then you can get some support underwear on prescription from a company called Vanilla Blush which you could ask your stoma nurse about

https://www.vblush.com/en/shop/mens

Use something like Poo Pourri in the toilet before emptying his bag. Does he carry a man bag with a few essentials in? If so could he use some disposal gloves and an antibacterial wipe to leave a public toilet in a bit more acceptable state?

Could he drink spirits rather than pints? Again, less liquid in means less liquid out. 

Hope you’re able to persuade him to take a few of these suggestions on board. It’s a holiday for both of you after all and hopefully he’ll understand that the effects from his drinking are spoiling it for you?

Take care

Karen x

Hi Greekgirl 

I’m just home from a holiday in Greece and have a colostomy and urostomy, so I very much understand the fear of leakages, especially on holiday.

Karen has given you some really excellent advice in her reply, and I would say that personal experience will outweigh what the stoma nurse might advise in my experience. They are likely to tell your husband not to drink or at least not too drink much. That is clearly not your reality.

I don’t really drink alcohol on holiday-a single glass of wine with dinner and the odd drink, not every day, during the day time. I would say categorically that alcohol does affect the output from a colostomy, especially when abroad in the heat when you’re relaxing. I can have leaks at home, without any drink, but alcohol definitely makes the leaks worse, which is why I don’t do it now! 

I would never sleep in a hotel bed without puppy pads under me, and sometimes I will wrap the puppy pad around my middle and tuck it into my underwear. I’ve had my stomas for more than 5 years, travel abroad multiple times a year and would never go abroad without a supply of puppy pads!

Can I ask if he is using a drainable bag or a closed bag with the colostomy? I use a closed bag myself, but Karen has given good advice with a drainable bag-although I appreciate that in Greece it is not common practice to put loo roll in the toilet pan. Using a closed bag means I can take the bag off, double bag the contents in a little black bag and dispose of it without needing loo roll. 

In addition to the banana strips to go around the bag, some extra adhesion prior to applying the bag could help to stop leaks-I wipe my skin with an Independence Fusion Applicator stick, then stick the bag on, then use Brava elastic strips round the sides. I use a loo spray-a small 100ml bottle from Fabulosa which really helps with odour- obviously I do empty my wee bag into the loo and this spray is really good. 

The problem with drinking alcohol is that it can impair how you take care of yourself-being less careful with how you change the bag, and not paying attention to any mess being just a couple of factors. What about suggesting a change to alcohol free beer or spirits? Or as Karen has suggested, a move from beer to spirits for less volume? I drank mocktails on holiday so I was always fully compos mentis, and the volume didn’t affect my output in the same way as booze.

A colostomy usually has firmer output, but alcohol will make it much looser and the bag will fill quickly. It’s just a fact of drinking. I can hear the distress in your post, and really feel for you.

Do you feel that he needs help with his drinking or is this just a holiday thing? We all want to have a lovely holiday, but that involves being mindful of how our partner is feeling too. It’s sounds as if this might be an ongoing, and very upsetting issue, for you and he really needs to address how you’re feeling about this. Unless he does, he might risk you not wanting to go at all and then how would he manage? 

Sarah xx

Thank you all for the kind words and  helpful replies .

my husband has a closed colostomy bag, he changes rather than empties, because of the consistency.

we use the brava adhesive strips . 

in bed ( on holiday) I set an alarm for every two hours which usually works

we use puppy pads, I also bought a lightweight protective mattress cover ( from Dunhelm) it’s very fine and silky , so he wraps this around himself in bed , both at home and on holiday .

his drinking is not a problem at home, the most he has is a couple of pints.

on holiday he has a few more than that, then a few spirits and mixers .

im clinging to the fact that his stoma equipment has not been checked for size or suitability since his op, and as his stoma is very flat to the skin, I think he may need a a convex system maybe? 

if we can’t resolve it, yes, I’m going to have to say we can no longer go on holidays . So sad  

thanks again, this is the only safe place I could think of to come to. Without disgust or judgement. 
you’ve all made me me feel better just by listening ️

My stoma is skin level and a convex wafer made a huge difference for me. 

Thank you! 
I am hoping that this will be the case for him too

did you have leaks prior to getting a convex wafer? 
im glad it’s working for you xx

Hi Greekgirl and I’m glad everyone’s comments have helped. I’m shocked that his stoma has not been checked since his op - it shrinks considerably so the size of the hole in the bag would have needed adjusting. As Susan says a flat stoma also needs a type of bag that ‘pushes the stoma out’ so a different type of bag could make all the difference.

Hope the meeting with the stoma nurse goes well x

I am both horrified and astonished that your husband has not had his stoma measured in 2 years. The time of most change is after the surgery when everything is healing and settling down, and stomas should be measured regularly.

Please make sure the stoma nurse measures the stoma, or gives you a template and explains how to do it yourself. A changing stoma size is one of the main reasons for leaks, so you might find a new measurement will transform things. 

I have a colostomy which is completely flat, and in general a convex bag would be recommended. I use a flat bag because it’s my particular preference but I do use a convex bag with my urostomy -I changed to this because of leaks and it was a real game changer in stopping them.

I think you might be nearer a lasting solution now which will be wonderful for you both! 

Sarah xx

Oh thank you - fingers crossed