Cancer sucks!!!

Hi, I've just joined too. About 30 minutes ago. 

My mum also has Colon Cancer, she was diagnosed a few weeks ago. She's also just had an ileostomy last week. I took her in and waited for her to wake up because she doesn't have a partner to help her through this. 

My mum hasn't come out of hospital yet. She's being sick a lot and is shaking. She looks like she's in constant pain, but when asked she seems confused. She's also had a catheter put in today as she keeps wetting herself. I'm scared. I don't feel like she'll be out for Christmas. 

I just wanted to say you're not alone, and it actually sounds like we're on a similar journey. And hi 

Literally about the same time as me then! ️ 

Sounds like our mums were diagnosed around the same time. It’s scary how fast things happen after diagnosis, but really good at the same time. N’awww that’s lovely you were there when she woke up sadly, work meant that me, nor my dad could be there which broke my heart. I’ve been up everyday as my dad still has to work. My mum is also still in hospital, she’s well, they obviously just need to make sure she can do it all for when she is let home. 

Have they said what could be causing her shaking and vomiting?!  bless her!! We definitely are on a similar journey, timeline is close too!! Take care sweetheart, sending you and your mum all my love xx

I'm sorry to hear about your mom and Dollhouse  too!

There is an ileostomy, colostomy, and urostomy board here. This is a great resource for asking questions about caring for the ileostomy. Changing the appliance (wafer that sticks to skin and the bag used to catch output) is fairly simple in principle but takes some practice and there is usually a learning curve as you learn what works for the unique individual. 

Request assistance from an ostomy nurse. They should be able to provide support as an outpatient too.

If possible you or someone else should also learn how to do a change so you can assist your mom in the beginning. My husband learned alongside me and his help was invaluable for the first few changes. After that, I started doing it on my own with no problems. 

The whole process of getting an ostomy is emotionally difficult for everyone. No one wants to go that route. Hers may be temporary but that doesn't lessen the shock. I woke up from my surgery with 2 permanent stomas. I knew in advance but it was still a difficult thing to wake up to. 

I hope your mom starts feeling better soon and is able to start her treatment.  

Hi Dollhouse and a warm welcome to the board. I hope your mum is starting to improve a bit now. I’m not sure how old she is but could a water infection be causing the confusion? 
The sickness could be caused by ileus. This occurs when the bowel has been handled and it goes on strike for a few days. I had it after my op and again after my stoma reversal - it’s very unpleasant but mine was resolved by nil by mouth for a couple of days, then water only, then liquids etc. until food was finally reintroduced. Another option is an ng tube which goes up the nose and then down into the stomach but I’ve heard that’s not very nice either.

Hopefully your mum will start to pick up and then she can learn how to deal with the stoma and be allowed home. I’ve attached a link to the stoma board where there’s lots of help and support

 Ileostomy, colostomy and stoma support 

Take care

Karen x

Hi Moomin95 I hope your mum is starting to feel a bit better. She won’t be allowed home until the nurses are happy that she can clean the stoma and change the bag on her own. The first time on your own is a bit scary but I set my stall out on the bathroom window sill and stood over the basin while I did everything. I’m sure she’ll quickly get used to it and have a change down to 5 minutes. I always had an emergency bag in my handbag with spare pouch, wipes, removal spray/wipes etc. although never used it! I found my Ileostomy was most active from late afternoon onwards so used to change my pouch in a morning.

Lots of support on here and the stoma board which I’ve linked below

 Ileostomy, colostomy and stoma support 

Take care

Karen x

So similar! And really frightening how fast things can change. I'm finding my mood changes fast too. One day I'm ok and then I'm a mess again.

I'm really sorry you couldn't be there, that must have been so hard for you. But you've been there every day which must be so comforting for your mum. 

They think it's another infection. Which if I'm reading the forums right seems to be a common thing with cancer. She's on antibiotics now so hopefully she'll feel better soon. 

Sending strength!

Thank you Karen, it's lovely you taking the time to help and share. 

She's got an ng, and she hadn't eaten for 2 days when I saw her but was still vomiting. They were going to try some soup and then a soft diet but she threw the soup up so I'm not sure where she's at with eating now. 

They put her on antibiotics yesterday so she probably does have an infection somewhere. We can't seem to get hold of someone on her medical team to talk to us. 

She did text yesterday. We usually use WhatsApp and she used just texting which we haven't done for 2 years. She also started her message as if we'd already been speaking. But she said she's feeling a little better. So that's both good and bad news! 

Thank you for all your advice. I think I'll probably have to learn how to do it soon. My sister lives away and has a newborn, and my brother has never been close to mum though he's try now. 

I just don't feel ready to take that on just yet, but I'll get there. I can't help all the time as I have a 3 year old. 

We don't know yet if it's temporary, but they've said her left side is a "mess". So it might be permanent. 

I hope she feels better soon too. 

Normally it will only need to be changed every 3-4 days so it isn't a huge time requirement. I mostly it would make your mom feel less alone and she'd soon want to do it on her own. But I am guessing based on how I felt.

Once you get used to it, it's no big deal. I know many people who chose to keep it rather than get it reversed because it was that natural. 

It really is frightening!! 

My mood has been up and down since the day she had her colonoscopy. I hated not being there, just felt like I was waiting forever for news. It’s comforting for her, but also comforting for me. She’s doing loads better again today…… I took her for a walk to the hospital shop, AND SHE DRAINED THE BAG BY HERSELF, NOT ONCE, BUT TWICE!!! ️️ I’m so proud of her! She should be coming home on Thursday!  

Hopefully as they’ve given your mum the antibiotics, she will soon perk up abit! Antibiotics work quite quickly  I have everything crossed for you and your mum ️