Hi Everyone! Stage 4 Rectal Cancer

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Hi Everyone,

I'm new to this group but I was diagnosed with stage 4 Rectal Cancer back in October 2022. 

I can honestly say that I have had the most gruelling 2 years of treatment. With 4 operations/procedures two separate rounds of chemo and 4 weeks of radiotherapy. 

But the reason why I have joined this group now, is that recent scan has shown that I have 3 new tumors in my left lung.  In the grand scheme of things not the worse news I could have been given, spotted and hopefully can be treated. But for some reason, this time I have taken the news quiet badly. The news came literally two days before I was due to go in and have my Port-a-cath removed, as they believed that I wouldn't require further chemo etc for the foreseeable future..so that carrot was dangled in front of me that I had the miracle ending and they had cured me to the best of their knowledge.  Now I am being told that this is unlikely to happen now and that it is all about controling/managing my cancer. I'm exhausted by it all, the thought of more chemo and procedures just makes me feel I can't explain. But I will keep in fighting 

Finding it hard this time to talk to friends and family at he moment as I try to stay upbeat and positive for them when all I want to do is cry and feel sorry for myself.

Anyway, nice to introduce myself to you all

  • Hi  

    Welcome to the forum but my heart sank for you . I can totally relate . My mum was on year five , the last scan before discharge as a stage four patient when it picked up a tumour in her lung . With time we began to realise how fortunate that was but at the time it felt a bit cruel to be honest .

    However I do hope I can give you some encouragement. We actually discovered that they had been watching it for two years as it could have been nothing but it doubled in value . My mum was 73 at this point having had liver resections at 67,68 . I think . Might need to check that now ! 
    I felt more concerned about the lung but not sure why . Location is everything . With the robust scanning Mum’s was picked and and removed at 8 mm . Apparently a lot of lung nodules can be very slow growing and that was the case for mum . They removed it through vats surgery and that was all she needed . This lasted to 80 years . No further treatment in her 70s . She did eventually get discharged . But an incidental finding showed it had sneaked back in her lung . She had another ten months of a biological agent due to her age which was manageable. She passed at the great age of 82 this summer .

    She would speak about finding her focus . Then she would put her best foot forward and face more treatment . But she needed time to work through that process .

    However for her she did catch more breaks and her own immune system must have gathered strength as she lived right through her 70s with one procedure .

    I should also say the lung resection was done through keyhole for her and was the easiest by far . Home two days later and back out and about within two weeks . A small two inch scar under her armpit .

    My mums oncologist also said  radio frequency ablation is giving surgeons a run for their money and people use this too for lung tumours . Another aspect to investigate .

    My mums lung tumours were so slow growing they did not give her chemo as it apparently works best on cells that divide quickly . Unlike her liver mets that were large and fast growing .

    So despite the big bump on the road that scan brought to our family . It was also the scan that literally saved her life and gave us another ten years of wonderful living . We went round Europe and celebrated her 10th cancer anniversary by kayaking in the open sea .

    We are here to lift each other up and help each other . I felt heart sorry for mum facing more treatment . I still wish she did not have such challenges in her life .

    You take special care of yourself . Give yourself the time you need to process this and I do hope it eases for you and wish you every success . Happy to chat at any point in time . I do agree you need to find your feet before tell people . They don’t always understand cancer as a chronic condition . I found as time went on we spoke less and less about it . It was easier for use to focus on a plan .

    You have come so far and clearly very responsive to treatment .

    Take care ,

    Court 

    Helpline Number 0808 808 0000

  • Hi Court,

    Thanks for you kind reply and sharing of your experience with your mum. 

    Have my consultancy tomorrow morning with my oncologist. I will find out if I am able to ablations or it is 3 months of chemo ahead. I am  hoping for the ablations as it has the least amount impact on my family and work. I have only just returned to work after 2 years and have loved feeling like life had got back on track.  I have an amazing 10 year old and it is tough on her when I have chemo as I'm so exhausted and she ends up looking after me. When my husband is at work.

  • My heart broke for you. I can't imagine how hard it would be to get that news. I am earlier in my journey than you so I cannot share any similar experience.  However I have had some tough times outside my cancer diagnoses (twice) and I know a little about the grieving process. 

    Be gentle with yourself. Go someplace quiet and let yourself cry. It needs to come out. There is nothing worse for you than bottling up your feelings. Then look for grief support resources. There are so many great tools for working through grief I can't possibly do justice to them in this post. Personally. I find spending quiet time in nature to be healing but find what works for you. Everyone is different.  

    You've survived so much I believe you will come through this latest challenge too. Sending you love and support