Wait for Colonoscopy. Waves of emotions.

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Hi all

This is a horrible time for me like almost everyone on this forum....been reading lots on here

I've had bleeding and change in stools for a while but it does come and go but more recently I would say it's becoming more common

There's not a huge amount of blood to turn the bowl red or pink but it shows up more like when I wipe...I'm not tired and blood test required no more investigation which I know doesn't mean much 

I'm fuming with myself as I don't know how long I've had this issue for....but anyway I have a colonoscopy next Sunday and I'm absolutely dreading it ...I dont weigh myself but my partner and I would say I'm putting on weight if anything

I'm not worried about the procedure at all just the results

Theres polyps in the family which to be honest I didn't realise until recently probably because I was younger and my parents probably kept the seriousness from me top

I just cant remember...not blaming them of course too

Anyway I'm 48 with a 10 year old boy and I'm just scared of the thought of leaving him...I know you will probably say it's stupid but I've kind of written emails to say how much he means to me already...he really is my entire world along with my partner. The thought of leaving them is indescribable.....again like almost everyone on here with loved ones..and as ive said in emails to them both that they are the only thing I'm proud of

Anyway my sister recently had a colonoscopy too and hers came back with diverticulitis....I hope it's that but I'm convinced I have a serious issue

We went on a mini break to London 2 weeks ago and thats when the worries really kicked in....myself and partner hardly slept and we look knackered  in the photos :)

I know we shouldn't google and I'm not now I've learned as much as I want to learn

Just wondering how people cope with the waves of emotions really .....its the wait that's horrible and your mind wonders to the worst case.. well mine does anyway and my family

I know I just need to take mind of it and deal with it when we get there but I just feel for everyone having ops and procedures on here....wishing everyone the best!!

  • Hi Kiteboy

    Not all cases are cancer

    Colonoscopy should give a clear indication of what is going on.

    After a positive guaiac faecal occult blood test in 2017 I was diagnosed with Bowel Cancer... Dukes A classification....a complete shock,  I nearly fainted....worrying time for all.....tumour removal required 4 hour surgery....no chemo...5 day stay in hospital.....back at work 9 weeks later....mentally draining at the time ....and afterwards....sleepless nights....talking about my concerns with close family certainly helped.

    Plenty of decent advice on Macmillan, NHS pages etc....keep Google to a minimum.

    Best of luck


  • Thanks Peter yeh it's awful at the moment...just cycling on my family mainly and the worst case...just need to think about other things and tackle it next week

    We don't know the facts yet either but I feel like somethings wrong

    It's all different for people too but glad u got through.... its nice to see positive results

  • Final colonoscopy December 2023.... discharged from follow ups....

    When these things hit us we just have to knuckle down and deal with them.

    Best of luck


  • Hi  I can’t tell you not to worry but please try to look at the facts rather than the what ifs? There are a lot of things that can cause similar symptoms to bowel cancer such as crohns, colitis, ibs, diverticulitis, harmless polyps  and you’ve already said that there is a history of these in your family? By stressing you will start to suffer things like an upset tummy and then you’ll start to worry even more and it becomes a vicious cycle.

    Stay away from google - it will not help and can cause even more stress - you’ve done the right thing coming on here and you can ask anything you like.

    Its good that you’re getting checked out. Only 1 in 10 colonoscopies results in a bowel cancer diagnosis. If, and it is very much an if at this stage, it does result in a bowel cancer diagnosis then it is very treatable  - I was diagnosed 7 years ago and I’m still ‘no evidence of disease’.

    I hope next Sunday goes well and please keep us posted?

    Take care

    Karen x

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
  • Hi Kiteboy I am in a fairly similar position. It’s the waiting that can get to you. I have stopped googling and that has helped. This forum has been good for me as you get real honest answers. I try to keep busy as much as possible. I hope you get your appointment soon. Take each day as it comes. 

  • Yo. Well i feel it ... same position ans i also have a clonoscopy next sunday . Same symptoms as you ..same anger with myself ... same worries ref results ..same thoughts about my kids.... the good news is that means your not alone feeling this way ... the waiting grrrrrrrrr  .  Try to keep busy and make that effort to book in somwthing fun..not just between now and results but also the longer term ... a forward perspective is the way to go ..... most colonoscopies are NOT cancer ... but either way knowledge is power. 

    Hang in there

  • Yeh thanks everyone and thoughts to everyone going through too. You dont relalise how many people have had these.... spoke to travel insurance person today to explain whats happening and he sounded pretty young and hes had three of them. Every stool is an event at the moment...awful...never looked so much. No blood the last few that I could visibly see anyway which I know means nothing aswell...just want Sunday to come now so we know what we are dealing with. Moviprep stuff to drink has come today so it's getting closer

  • Hi all - well I have done some research so I understand what Im dealing with. The main piece of info was the chances of bowel cancer even if you do have a positive fit or blood in your stool - I think its still relatively low I believe so that maybe something to hold onto for now anyway I HOPE

    I dont know my fit score at all - I don't even know who to ask for that tbh

    I on the other hand I have convinced myself that I have some really terrible news coming probably on Sunday...I just feel its coming my way. I have loose stools pretty much most of the time - I cant see blood but suspect there maybe some in there

    Thats where Im at the moment - my partner is trying to stay positive for us all

    But Im getting prepped for this procedure to rip our little family apart and thats when I tend to have a have a crying session just thinking of them. if it is the worst news then we will have to get on and deal with it I know - I prey not and and I have been preying too

    I will update on Sunday and I hope its good news cos it might be a lessons learned for other people on here too 

    The closer it gets the more anxious I feel too - the wait is horrendous 

  • Well I've just come back from my colonoscopy...procedure was absolutely nothing for me....I enjoyed it really as I know I'll be having more of these going forward and it was nothing... fentanyl did nothing  really for me...didn't notice the sedation

    They did find a few polyps and I saw them removing one I think

    The obvious issue though was one stalky 30mm polyp

    That's the one that seems to be causing my issue I think

    They were on agency staff so they said it cant be removed then as they need full week staff present in case of perforation

    Same procedure again required to remove the 30mm one...I did ask if it was cancer and they didn't seem concerned like at all..just its a bigger one...I hope they wernt hiding things but they said I should have another appointment now in two or three weeks to take out by the same method

    Im still a bit worried as its big...but the moment we got back to car we both cried with relief...I was expecting my inside to be rotten in a way

    Just want that big one out now. I knew something wasn't right 

    Now we know what's wrong we can hopefully deal with it

    Just hope this goes to help some people in future as ive had what feels like the worst 2 weeks of my life so ...literally been sorting stuff out getting photos off Google photos the lot.....so its not always the worst news 

    In my case it feels positive now as we know what it is and they can sort relatively simply by removing....I'm trusting that and not letting my head run away with me this time

    But Im just editing this post now as I see larger ones over 10mm can be cancerous so there still is some concern so I still need to get back up there asap to get this out. The notes to say rebook and remove it - then maybe my mind can be put at ease for a bit - and they can do the tests on it then

    Thanks everyone  though and really prey for  you all get through what your going though...this disease is sly...if there's any change I'll update again if someone can learn from this that's great too

    For those havin colonoscopys for the first time - from my first time its nothing to worry about - it was quite interesting in some ways tbh 

    Im not out of it just yet buy I am relived somewhat from what they said but wont be fully happy intil this large one is out and tested but as they did me on a Sunday Ill have to wait now!

    I will update with any news

  • Pleased for you and the family..qwll done for staying sane

    my turn next sunday.. 

    Bleeding has stopped ..but previously loads.. like a sausage in a bowl of red wine. 

    Platelets low... and 1 iffy liver enzyme markef . No imflamation. No obvious haemoroids  and no infection ... dont feel very optomistic.  But trying to fake it to make it . 

    I hope all goes well with the removal .