Hi I had ESD to remove a laterally spreading tumour in July following a colonoscopy in May. Initially it was 2cm and the biopsies from the colonoscopy were diagnosed as low grade dysplasia and nothing to worry About. I then had the procedure to remove the tumour. The surgeon was quite candid that in his experience a tumour that size would have cancer in it but this would cure it. It turned out that it had grown in 6 weeks to 5cm and they couldn’t remove all of it. I had a phone call Thursday 27th July asking me to go in the next day. I think I knew at that point I wouldn’t be having good news. It appears that it is cancer and because of where it is I need to have resection and it is most likely I will have a permanent stoma. The nurse was lovely, but very embarrassed because she had told me the initial diagnosis. I ended up reassuring her. She has booked provisional date to see a surgeon on 1/09 and surgery on 15th. I’Ve not got anything in writing. To be completely honest I haven’t got upset, but I feel a bit numb if anything. Friends and family keep bursting into tears which is not helpful and I’m finding I’m exhausted with propping them up. I think at this point I’m worried about finances, my job, the future and dealing with a stoma. I just don’t know what to think or how to feel and my mind seems to go around in circles. It’s all a bit scary and I’m getting anxious as every time I go to the hospital it’s always just that bit worse.
Hi TaffyScotinEngland,
My name is Dylan and I’m from Macmillan’s Online Community team. I’d like to wish you a very warm welcome to the Online Community and thank you for sharing some of your story here.
I wanted to offer some support whilst you wait for other group members to reply. In replying here your post will get ‘bumped up’ and hopefully result in more members seeing it.
I was sorry to read of your recent diagnosis and all that you have had to go through lately. Its understandable that your family are upset and that's making things even more difficult for you. That's a big reason why Macmillan support exists. We know that finding ongoing support in loved ones can be challenging and at times its easier to reach out to other people, specifically those that are in a similar boat to you.
Its very natural to experience a wide range of emotions and we often have members share how it helps to share those feelings with others. So, please feel free to post in the forums as much as you need. If you ever want to speak to someone at Macmillan, please give our Support Line a call They can assist with clinical and practical information and they are are there if you simply want to chat about how you are feeling. Our support team are available 7 days a week, 8am-8pm on freephone 0808 808 00 00, email or live webchat.
You can also reach our teams on the Support Line here on the Online Community in our "Ask an Expert" section.
We published a Community blog about dealing with anxiety a few months ago. You can read it by clicking here.
I hope you will find the online Community supportive and helpful. If you have any questions or you need any support with using our site, please feel free to get in touch with us in the Online Community Team. You can either message us via the private messaging system, or you can drop us an email at community@macmillan.org.uk.
Best wishes,
Dylan
Macmillan's Online Community Team
Thanks for the update TaffyScotinEngland,
It does sound like its becoming very real now. Please don't feel that you have to apologise for ranting. That's exactly what this space is for. Feel free to rant and offload as much as you want:)
That sounds very tough, having people think you have all the answers. It sounds like you have experienced a form of toxic positivity, which is very common and tough to deal with. I published a blog yesterday covering this exact topic. It highlights a thread in the Community where people have written about experiencing toxic positivity.
Its very encouraging to hear that you are finding the site supportive and helpful. Please let your partner know that he can access Macmillan services for support too. Its great to hear that you have him as a support but both of you might need separate, individual support at times.
Best wishes,
Dylan
Macmillan's Online Community Team
