Hello, my dad has recently been diagnosed with bowel and liver cancer! Atm I’m struggling with my emotions and was just hoping for some emotional support or advice. He’s due to start chemotherapy in 2wks with hope to reduce the size of the tumour in his bowel to have an operation. I just can’t seem to stay positive and so emotional.
Thank you for you reply! I just felt like it was all getting ontop of me as I’m having to be strong for my parents. And also have decided not to tell my children at the moment as don’t want them to worry also so it’s having to hide all the emotions
Hi Kerry17 I’m so sorry to hear your dad has been diagnosed with bowel and liver cancer. It’s no wonder things are getting on top of you. Feeling like you have to keep things from your children must be so difficult. I feel a little of your pain. I kept my secondary diagnosis from my elderly father in law. I did tell him a couple of months after I’d had surgery. It was hard lying to him, but he doesn’t live close to me, so easier on the phone. Someone did say that I shouldn’t keep my diagnosis from him, but he’d had a couple of falls and ended up in hospital! Listen to your gut as to what and when to tell your children. Come on this site as often as you need to. We have a wide range of experience. Take care.
Welcome to the forum . When my mum was initially diagnosed with a spread to her liver I struggled to stay positive too and to be honest I think that’s ok . You are only human and it’s a lot to process . I took me the best part of a year to get a handle on the process and feel more optimistic.
However that was 14 years ago and she is still here , in /off treatment and treating it like a chronic condition . There is a subgroup of patients that respond well to chemotherapy and it can open up other avenues and windows of opportunity.
Take it one step at a time . The chemo does make you feel as though something is being done to tackle the spread and hopefully gain some shrinkage .
You will be surprised but a routine forms and you start to learn how to participate in managing it .
Your welcome. My daughter is the same we’ve only told the older ones but not in great detail.,you don’t want to put that in kids. Just look after yourself and come on here you will get great support️
Hi Kerry17 the start of the journey is a great shock for everyone you will feel emotional when my husband found out it had spread as well I can remember screaming out no but we are further down the line he as had operation was due chemo but it effected his heart so had to stop now we just take 1 day at a time Simon just stays positive and says everyday he is glad to be alive.Not sure how old your children are but my adult children are the worst effected the 2 boys now suffer with health anxiety not sure i did the right thing with them only fed them bits of information and never cried in front of them it's tricky they say the want to know everything but as a mum I want to protect them xx
I’m so pleased you’ve posted an update Kell Sug. I was thinking of you and your husband. I’m glad you know what to expect in as much as is possible. I had 5 weeks of chemoradiotherapy back in 2019 and got around 33% shrinkage. That gave the surgeon clear margins which made keyhole assisted surgery possible. I’ll keep everything crossed that your husband has a good outcome. It’s still hard trying to live a normal life when you have what feels like an endless diary of hospital appointments. I’m not a parent, so can only try to imagine how hard it must’ve been telling your children. I felt similarly about telling my parents. I had to tell them over the phone as they live a 12 hour+ round trip away. Now that your children know, you have given them the opportunity to ask questions and allow them to digest what is happening. Keep us posted about how you’re all doing.
