looing for advice

Hello  from sunny Cornwall ! I adore Cornwall and had a few good holidays there ! 
So sorry to hear you are having a tough time . Twice is a lot to process ! Hopefully others  will be able to guide you on how they coped . I am a carer so no help to you in that regard ! However I just wanted to mention our helpline number . 0808 808 0000. The staff have a lot of experience and also information on courses etc to help people no matter what stage in the process they are at . If you ever think that might be useful you could give them a call .

But you are so correct it’s a difficult disease even to just watch someone go through . 
I will tag in a few people who might be of assistance with making the adjustments. Kareno62, Gemmary Marianne26

They would know a bit more about recovery than I would . Others maybe pop on too .

So a big welcome and hope we can assist you going forward.

Court 

 Hi, , welcome! I am going to suggest that court flags up the link to the paper, after treatment finishes, what then. I found this really useful, hopefully you can get something out of it as well. I didn't need any stomas, they managed to get a good, if low, join. But the mental trauma was still very real. I got referred to a counsellor in the hospital, though most was done by phone with the lockdown, which helped. You can also get referred by the Macmillan helpline, so that would be worth a call.  I think from my experience you need to try and process what has gone on upto now, and this will give you a better grounding to keep going. Happy to help if I can. Big (((hugs))) 

https://www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf
Think it was this one Gemmary Is that right ?

Court 

Yes, that's it! One day I'll learn how to tag it myself!!

No problem at all ! I have bookmarked it ! 
Court 

Hi  and a warm welcome from me too. Twice in 6 years must be really difficult especially if you’d reached the point of thinking you’d beaten it for good. Please give the nurses on here a ring or talk to your own doctor maybe for some help - some health authorities have a counselling service that you can self refer to? There is also a forum on here for Life after Cancer and a guy called The Highlander has some really good posts?

Hope you are able to get out and enjoy the sunshine

Take care

Karen x