Husband newly diagnosed

Hi 

Welcome to the forum but very sad to read your post . I think we all association with wanting to keep a loved one in our lives . I think that’s actually lovely he means so much to you but like you want the best for him and to be free from pain . It’s a difficult balance for sure .

If you click on my user name you can read my mum’s story . It’s difficult to know on a forum just how extensive someone’s cancer is but there is a group of bowel cancer patients who actually respond quite well to treatment and extend their lives but years . So it’s certainly not without hope and it really does depend how he responds. 
Concentrating on his well being is a great place to start but also on your own . It’s a time of considerable pressure for you too and it’s important to find some coping mechanisms to help you endure this . So I am really glad you reached out to us and hope we can support you too .

It is a bit like preparing for the worst and hoping for the best . For us it was important to focus on living within each day in both very small and bigger ways . That gave us a bit of grounding to get our strength up . My sister was of the firm opinion it was not over until the dr said there was no more chemo options . Till then we would live each day as it came . I held onto that as bowel cancer had quite a few chemo options . We treated it like a chronic condition and planned for events within weekly slots .

Only our approach and not for everyone I totally understand. But initially I felt I was grieving whilst she was still alive and it was such a conflicting emotion.  But with time we got stronger and more able to process some of it . You will see from my bio my mum responded and I then had to learn to stop grieving at that point . It was very complex at times. 

Anyway please feel free to ask any questions. We might not always get the right answers but we are trying .

Take special care ,

Court 

Thank you for your kind words. We are just waiting for him to have his second covid jab and then they can get him admitted. I think that because it is so new that getting your head around it is quite difficult and not always looking like a puffer fish all the time.