My husband had rectal cancer and he is due to have a lower anterior resection in next few weeks and will have a temporary stoma. He’s scared and I’m not sure how to support him thought it.
Hi doubledd, sorry to hear about your husband and it isn't suprising he is worried. How much information and help have you been given so far? Have you met a Stoma nurse, he will before the op and the nurse will be a great help and support with a lot of information for you both. Once the programme for the procedure is set out and you both know what to expect you will be a lot happier I believe.
I had the same operation in 2019 after a spell of radiotherapy and chemo pills aged 72. I had an ileostomy bag for a year and it allowed me to live a fairly normal and active life. I coped ok with the operation and the stoma bag and had great support from the hospital and my wife.
My wife supported me by learning as much as I did about the procedure, especially looking at the diet needed after the op and while using an ileostomy bag. She listened to my occasional complaints and offered sound advice and just being there for me. We were able to attend consultations together which helped. I am sure you will find the right way to support your husband too and you will find lots of help from people who know what you are both going through.
Hi again doubledd, I notice that you haven't had any other replies and I am sure there are plenty of relatives on the forum who would help. Can I suggest you re-post with a better heading asking for advice, such as 'how can I support my husband'.
I have linked in a page on what to expect for bowel cancer surgery and I found a bit of knowledge on what to expect helped me be more useful to my mum . My mum did not have a stoma but she did have a wound to heal and diet to address . So knowing a bit about eating etc helped .
Also knowing what to look out for in terms of infection can be helpful.
Remember your surgical team can still be contacted for advice . Macmillan have a helpline 0808 808 0000. In terms of stoma care there are many people in here with them do just post away and someone will assist you .
Emotionally it’s touch getting the balance right of when to step up and when to step back but to be honest I think we all get that’s one a bit wrong at times but still work through it .
Again apologising for not seeing your post earlier .
Hi and a warm welcome from me too. Yes the whole experience is scary and the next few months will be difficult but there is a lot of support available for you both. Is there any particular aspect that’s bothering him the most? The stoma nurses will make sure he’s able to deal with his stoma before he’s discharged and I’m sure he’ll quickly get into a routine with it.
I had a low anterior Resection in 2016 and I’m still cancer free. I had a few bumps on the way but Bowel Cancer is very treatable. Please feel free to ask anything you want on here - there is nothing too daft or embarrassing. My hubbie had some time off work when I came out of hospital and it was reassuring just to have somebody there. My appetite was quite slow to return but he was happy to make whatever I fancied and wasn’t upset if I couldn’t manage it. Your hubby won’t be able to lift anything heavy or drive for several weeks after the op but hopefully he’ll be up to some gentle walks as his strength returns
