Can we get married sooner?

FormerMember over 4 years ago

1 reply
172 subscribers
498 views

Hello all,

i am new to this page and it’s definitely not where I expected to be! My fiancé has been diagnosed with stage 2 colon cancer. We are seeing the oncologist next Tuesday to discuss his plan. We have been together since our early 20’s (14 years of bliss). We got engaged in October 2019 s and we were due to get married in May 2020 but COVID happened and we luckily moved our date to May 2021. Due to all the uncertainty at the start of the year and being oblivious to this cancer we postponed again to November 2021. Now fast forward to today and soo many emotions are running through my head, mostly about making sure he will be 100% again but naturally I am thinking about starting a family (which we wanted to do when we got married). The other thing I am thinking about is do we get married ASAP and has anyone gone through this process and give me any words of wisdom! I just want to do it in the registry office and hopefully claim what I can on the wedding insurance, so we can focus on treatment. My other half of my brain is saying just keep it for now until we get more answers and maybe it will be a nice distraction at the end of all this treatment to look forward to our wedding day again! I know it’s essentially our decision but I just need guidance if anyone has been through something similar and what they did?

thank you and much love x

Kareno62 over 4 years ago

Hi and a warm welcome to the board from me. I’m sorry to hear about your fiancées diagnosis but Bowel cancer is very treatable nowadays particularly if caught early (which stage 2 is) Personally I would wait until I’d met with the oncologist and see what treatment they are planning? Radiotherapy can cause infertility but this tends to be used for rectal cancer not colon. You could ask the oncologist if they suspect he will need any post operative treatment although the final decision will depend on the histology report after the tumour has been removed and sent off for testing.

It’s a very personal decision and a hard one to advise on. It would be lovely to have the wedding to look forward to and start married life with this all behind you?

I’ve attached a link to a booklet which gives an idea about some of the treatment available and also ideas on questions that you might want to ask at your meeting?

https://bowelcancerorguk.s3.amazonaws.com/Publications/YourPathway_BowelCancerUK.pdf

There’s also a booklet about Bowel cancer in young people and how it can affect fertility and planning a family.

https://bowelcancerorguk.s3.amazonaws.com/Publications/YoungPersonsGuide_BowelCancerUK.pdf

Hope these help a bit and the meeting with the oncologist goes well

Take care

Karen x

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