Overwhelmed and need to vent

FormerMember over 4 years ago

2 replies
171 subscribers
678 views

Hello, I’m new here. Thank you for your time. My 78 year old newly widowed Mum has been battling this disease for a year now and the operation, chemo and radiotherapy haven’t worked. She was told in November that it’s palliative and she had a scan in Jan 21 to show it’s progressing into her abdominal wall. My siblings and I are so worried about her living alone but she wants to be at home, none of us live that close to her. She’s reluctant for us to refer her to the community nurse, she finds that depressing. It’s really hard, sorry I’m not sure if anyone has any tips? Or what I’m asking? But thank you, Claire

Osboz over 4 years ago

Hi Claire,

Sorry to hear about your mum. It's so difficult trying to support loved one at a distance.

My circumstances are very different, but what I would say is that everyone deals with the diagnosis/prognosis differently and at a different pace. Maybe give your mum time to process all the information she has had in her own time and let her take the lead in what she thinks is right for her. This may change as she deals with the information and she may welcome community support in due course.

In my case, I am the 'patient' and I have sometimes been quite surprised with how I have responded to things from the point of diagnosis - and am still responding as it's not over yet! Your mum might be 78, but this is new to her too and she might still be all at sea with what she has been told. Just listening to her might be the best you can offer right now

It's a really tough situation for all of you and I hope things work out for the best.

FormerMember over 4 years ago in reply to Osboz

Thank you so much for your reply your words are reassuring, I’ll pass on to my siblings. All the best to you