Just diagnosed with rectal cancer so scared

Thank you for your positive reply.

I just pray that I didn’t leave it too long before seeking help, I’ve been experiencing blood in stools for many months now and stupidly assumed it was just piles. It wasn’t until last month I started experiencing additional symptoms I first visited my Doctor.  Just fear that it’s spread and incurable now.

It's completely normal to fear that you could have done something sooner. Please don't beat yourself up, you sort medical help and you are on the pathway now. Have you got any appointments yet for any further tests? Things have changed so much since I had my surgery. 

I think that's a common fear of most people diagnosed with B/C.  The only thing I can say is my wife, who is a Dr, told me when I was diagnosed that B/C is usually a slow growing tumour.  You are probably in the 'desperate for information ' stage - unfortunately there is none until after the multi-disciplinary team meeting (MDT) when all your results are discussed and the treatment options considered.   You will receive an out-patients appointment at which you will given accurate information.   Take someone with you, if possible, and make sure one of you has paper/pen to note down any letters/numbers relating to your diagnosis  - don't rely on memory.  Note down any questions you have as they occur to you prior to your olp appointment,  you can edit it down prior to going.  In the meantime DON'T GOOGLE ANYTHING  - it's full of lies, exaggerations & rubbish, it will not add to your knowledge.   Use the links from on here, Court is the best person to ask for appropriate links, she's a sane, caring person who has gained an invaluable store of advice. 

I found it easier after the MDT - a least there were more 'knowns.' If, as in my case, it was surgery with follow up, be assured it was far easier than I ever envisaged,  I was back at Anfield to watch Liverpool a month to the day of the op.

I hope everything goes as well as it can, thinking of you. 

YNWA

Mike

Hello scared mummy, it is scary and the waiting is the worse. I had chemoradiation for 5 weeks and at the moment I’m clear. It is so hard being diognoised in this present time, for me there was no escape. There are such lovely people on this site and I have called the Macmillan line a lot. Sending love & hugs xx

1. Hi scared Mummy, I’ve just gone through the same thing and by far the worst bit is waiting for the news.I don’t feel anyone can say anything to alleviate your fears until you get your results but trust me once you know what your dealing with it’s much easier. You will then just focus on your treatment and searching ways to help it. if anything worry more about your family than yourself. The good news is the more you read the more you will believe you will be ok, there’s such good treatments now and recovery rates are so high in people your age. 

Omg, this could have been me writing this. These are all thoughts that I have had over the last week. How do I stop thinking about it? When does this black cloud turn a shade of grey instead?

Hi Freckles, personally as soon as I knew the doctors plans, my focus switched to the treatment and how to help my body cope with it. Everyone’s situation is unique and we all handle stress differenly but I simply took any positives and used them to convince myself I’m going to be ok. You can’t do this if you let all the scary stuff get in your head so block it out and those dark clouds will disperse very quickly.  I’m not ignorant to the worse case scenario, I read up on alternative medicines, helpful diets, meditation, exercise regimes, but these are all from people with positive result.(rather obviously or they wouldn’t have written a book!) So it all feeds my belief, they did it, so can I. My other stresses are so insignificant now, I’m loving my life and family more intensely than ever and that’s a powerful feeling you can use to get through. Good luck Freckles

Freckles2021 Sorry that you’re going through the same. I’m still a nervous wreck and anxious all the time. I did have an appointment with my consultant after the scans and was given a treatment plan. Thankfully it hadn’t spread so it’s straight to surgery. Now I’m anxious and worried about surgery. I made myself so ill with it all, I’m an anxious character anyway so imagine being told this news. Every‘normal’ ache and twinge I was convinced it’d spread and couldn’t be cured. I remember having the scans and trying to look at the screen, seriously as if I’d even know what I was looking for, my mind was playing awful tricks on me. It’s so scary but we can do this together x

That’s really good news Freckles, let’s be positive! You’ve caught it early, prognosis will be great, just the damn surgery to worry about. But what good can worrying do, absolutely nothing right? I’m worried about surgery too but that bridge is further down the road, I’ll save all that worry for the day before. I tend to focus a lot on day to day things, chores that need doing, financial things I’ve ignored, any thing that normalises my life. All the things that used to be big worries are now so trivial that I enjoy the ease with which I can handle them. If I concentrate hard enough on living as best I can each day, I almost forget I have cancer. Each day you wake up and you have a choice, how can I make this day better? It doesn’t have to be major, cook a nice meal, go for a walk or something but it has to be a conscious decision at the start of the day. I’m always hearing about positive mental attitude but what is that, how do I get it?  Just sounding positive doesn’t work, trying to answer all the questions doesn’t work, trying to ignore you have cancer doesn’t work. I’m not sure how I stay positive, I just know that I’ve been given a wake up call,  life is beautiful and I’m damn well going to enjoy it to the best of my ability every single day. Just stay with that thought and worry about the surgery later, which will be absolutely fine by the way!

Thank you Bigdaddy for your advice and support. I made myself so ill worrying and stressing about it physically and mentally.I woke up one morning and convinced myself it’d spread to every organ and then felt pains in my chest, I would have ended up in A&E if I continued like this. You were right about seeing the consultant and getting a treatment plan, once you know what’s happening you can plan ahead. I’m ‘trying’ to get a little healthier for surgery probably too little too late but I least it’s something I can control, so I went for a nice walk this morning and will enjoy a home cooked meal later. I’m trying hard not to read less positive stories online because even though it’s a sad reality it brings you 2 steps back. You seem very wise and on top of this are maybe just had longer to adjust. I hope that your treatment is going well and physically and mentally.