Hope

Hi all

Ive Found great comfort in reading this forum over the last few months so I thought I’d share what’s been happening with me. Partly to (hopefully) help people just starting this rollcoaster, but also to reflect how I’m feeling, maybe writing it out will help me process everything? 
I was diagnosed with stage 3 bowel cancer in September last year, within a week they’d found several small mets on my liver, so changed to stage 4. 
devastated is an understatement, I’m 43, have 2 children under 10, and otherwise very healthy. My only symptom was the odd tummy ache, which felt gynaecological to me. Luckily my gp was more concerned than I was, and had me do a FITT test and colonoscopy.

i completed 6 rounds of folfox 3 weeks ago and had a good response, my tumour marker has halved. The side effects were manageable thanks to my support system, they did have to lower the dose to 80%, then 60% as my liver wasn’t happy- but it’s still done the job. I managed to work from home throughout which was a great distraction 

then boom, 2 weeks ago today the stent I had fitted back in September moved and my bowel perforated. I cannot describe the pain, however A&E saw me quickly and I had emergency surgery within a few hours of arriving. I now have a stoma ‘Rita’, she’s working great and I’m healing everyday. They removed the tumour and a couple of suspicious lymph nodes- however they had also shrunk a lot since my first scans before chemo.

im now waiting for the MDT to review my latest liver MRI with a view to regrade and potentially be able to treat me with curative intent.

my mind is all over, but throughout I’ve help on to hope and positivity, kept moving and address each challenge as it arrives. 
So I’m sending hope and love to everyone going through this, and anyone caring for someone too - you’re all amazing.

today I’m going to walk to the end of the street, in a few weeks I’ll be back to the park run

xxx