Hello

PattyK 2 days ago

4 replies
115 subscribers
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Hello Everyone,

I was a regular visitor to this forum just over 2 and half years ago when my husband Jay got bowel cancer. Sadly he passed away in June 2023 but please don't let that alarm any of you going through this just now he was I think just one of the unlucky ones and everyone responds to treatments differently. Two months after he passed my older sister presented with a bowel tumour also after getting a positive result back from a home bowel screening test. Luckily though they caught hers really early and she went in for surgery in October 2023 since then she has made great progress with her recovery and just needs to see her specialist every 6 months for follow up checks. Ironically my sister had breast cancer also 6 years ago but again it was caught early and she has completed the `5 year mark` on that and everything is well there also. So my journey between my husband and my sister has been `bittersweet` over the last couple of years. Since leaving this forum- although not left f the Macmillan site fully, I still visit the Bereaved Spouses and Partners Forum from time to time and offer support there- I have become a grandmother for the 2nd time. My 2nd little granddaughter was born in October this year and my son got married in February this year also so I have gained a daughter-in-law and a new extended family. My daughter in law also lost her mother in 2024 also to cancer so it has been following me around for a few years.

I still see a few familiar names here I remember Karen062 and Court. So there has been a few positives and negatives over the past few years. I am driving again so still have my independence Jay wanted me to go back to driving again before he passed as I was unable to drive for a long time due to ill health myself but he and my son kept chewing my ear to get back to it so I went back to the GP and she ok'd it so now I'm zipping around in the car we bought 10 months before Jay passed. We had it out on contract hire but liked so much we bought it at the end of the contract but just after that he took ill and couldn't drive it. It was his pride and joy so I'm doing my best to look after it for him.

I very seldom come on to this forum at all now but just thought I would pay a wee visit and give you all an update on what has been going on over the last few years. I read some of your posts and I can still identify with what some of you have written. I don't feel I have a place anymore to comment here but I just want to wish you all well in your journeys and just keep fighting for as long as you can. Medicine and research come up with something new every other day or week and hopefully one day a cure will be found for this horrible and cruel disease. My best wishes to you all.

Vicky.

Kareno62 2 days ago

How lovely to hear from you again PattyK You sound to be keeping well and a new granddaughter? Myla will be enjoying being a big sister I’m sure. Nice to hear that Nicole and William have tied the knot and I’m sure Jay and Nicole’s mum were watching from above. I hope you’re still in touch with the other ladies - you all had such a lovely bond.
Keep up the driving and take very good care of yourself

Karen x

Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

PattyK 2 days ago in reply to Kareno62

Hello Karen.

Lovely to hear from you and so impressed you remembered the names of my family William, Nicole and Myla. Yes Myla loves being a big sister now. She started school in August this years -how time flies! and she likes that too. I did a speech at their wedding in place of Jay and it was very well received and acknowledged Jay and Sandra (Nicole's mum) in it. My new little granddaughter is called Esme and she is just gorgeous. Yes Jkee (Julie) and Distraught (Maggie) and I kept in contact for a little while and spoke on WATTSAPP a few times exchanged photos etc. Jkee sadly lost Simon earlier this year and she has been on the Bereaved Partners and Spouses forum too a few times. Not heard from Maggie in a while though don't know if her Les is still going. I have bonded with a few on the Bereaved forum and as I said it's good to try and offer support to some who are just new to the forum and don't know what to do we are a good support for one another and as I said all `get it` in what we are going through. Good to hear from you again. Take Care.

Vicky x

court 1 day ago in reply to PattyK

Lovely to see all your news PattyK

Good to hear of new grandchildren and happier times for you .

Hope you have a wonderful Christmas.

It’s been over a year now since mum

However out the blue it hit me that she is really gone .
We have a few weddings coming up too and I am going to be an empty nester .

Lovely to see you too Kareno62

Take care and Merry Christmas.

I do sincerely hope for more and easier treatments for 2026 .

Take care ,

Lynnette

Helpline Number 0808 808 0000

PattyK 1 day ago in reply to court

Hi Court!

Wow just over a year for your mum how time flies. She was such an inspiration to everyone on bowel cancer forum for the amount of time she lasted and lived through her cancer. Yes things have been not bad for me but sometimes not good either. Like yourself it still hits me after 2 and a half years that Jay is not here especially at this time of the year and with the events of this year William and Nicoles wedding and the birth of Esme. I had a small bout of really bad depression in June/July this year but had the sense to give myself a kick up the backside and go back to the GP and she said it was understandable how I was because of what I had been through the last couple of years going through everything with Jay and then my sister got ill not long after his passing so went through it all again with her she'e now waiting on heart valve surgery she got over the worst with cancer and now hit with this but she just gets on with it she's a fighter! She has to go to the Jubilee Hospital in Clydebank for that she's been for scans and tests to make sure she is well and fit enough for surgery and she's good to go and just needs to wait for a date for surgery now.

My nexr door neighbour was diagnosed with stage 3 bladder cancer I was speaking to him a couple of days ago he's been in and had the operation and said they removed a 4cm tumour and are talking of putting him on immunotherapy but he's good up and walking about be it with a walking stick but he's staying positive. When he mentioned immunotherapy I immediately thought of your mum did they not put her on that in the end up? I asked about it for Jay but unfortunately his cancer was too far gone and I was told anything they tried for him back then just wouldn't have worked. But, no use dwelling on the past so just need to try to keep looking to the future. Nice to hear from you again. Take Care and hope you have a lovely Christmas too.

Vicky xx