New diagnosis

Hi Michelle 

Im so sorry to hear this. It’s such a shock when your loved one gets a diagnosis and the worry is all consuming. You can’t change what’s already been or what is to come but you can focus on what’s happening right now. When you meet the oncology team, get more information, ask what you need to ask, and you see there is a plan put in place you might not feel as overwhelmed. 

If you feel you could use some support, contact macmillan directly for a referral to counselling. 

thinking of you

jenny

How do I be strong? We have 4 children, 3 are adults. I'm the mum, I make things ok and just mother them. I just feel completely broken. And angry. And in denial.

• You don’t have to be strong.. whatever that means.. it’s shit. Of course you’re angry, it’s not fair. We all feel it. Anger, sadness, despair, worry.. there’s no point in pretending otherwise. It’s a bloody awful situation, no ifs or buts. I found that when we first had the news it was the shock and fear that I felt the most. First the bowel then finding out it had spread to the liver. Then we met the team and were given a plan for treatment (chemotherapy) and surgeries (bowel and liver). Something to focus on. Right this is what’s going to happen. This is our reality and we’ll take each day as it comes. That was June last year- march this year as there were various complications after surgery etc.. things were good for 3 weeks and then we were told the cancer was back in the liver and treatment would be palliative.. it felt like a bloody slap in the face. Palliative, I’ve learned, doesn’t mean  death, palliative patients can and do love with cancer for years and years.. we had more chemo and unfortunately that didn’t work either and we are now on our 3rd line and hoping this will work.. you begin to adjust to a different way of living.. yes every so often it catches you and you feel that surge of panic or sadness but for the most the focus remains on being here now and what can we do now.. new challenges come and go and small wins are celebrated.. tomorrow is promised to none of us.. that doesn’t change when someone gets a diagnosis. x