Overthinking everything!

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Hi all, am waiting for chemo and finding this limbo time awful. Am a chronic overthinker and just keep ruminating, even though I make a real effort not to. Hit 10, 000 steps today, first time post op in an attempt to quieten my head!

Histology post operation showed 3 nodes involved, and when I saw oncologist she said it was grade 3, highest tumour grade. Initially from colonoscopy biopsy it was a grade 2.

Unfortunately I have totally fixated on this now..... even hit Dr Google, v bad I know. Tumour was removed with clear margins so that's good.

Think I am driving my husband bonkers RoflRofl.

Xx

  • Hi  Now you know the first rule of the forum board is …….. not to consult with dr google. The grading relates to how abnormal the cells look and sometimes that is hard to predict during treatment and only confirmed by the histology report. 
    https://www.bowelcanceruk.org.uk/about-bowel-cancer/diagnosis/staging-and-grading/

    It’s hard when you’re waiting for more treatment to start and it’s tempting to go over things in your head and revisit information. I was clearing out a cupboard the other day and ended up reading all the letters that I’d been sent 8 years ago! 
    10000 steps is an amazing achievement and you sound to have recovered really well from the op. Try to focus on the fact that the tumour has been removed. The surgeon got clear margins. The affected lymph nodes have been removed. You are cancer free. 
    Chemo can be daunting but sometimes its reputation is worse than the actual experience. It’s the belt and braces to finish off your treatment and blast any microscopic nasties that may or may not be lingering.

    I know it’s hard not to worry and wonder what the future holds but you’ve accepted all the treatment and done everything possible to limit your chances of a recurrence. The old adage of ‘worrying will not change the future but will take away todays peace’ is very true so keep up the walking and any other distraction therapies that you have and try to focus on the facts and not the what ifs?

    Hope you get a chemo start date soon

    Take care

    Karen x

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
  • Hi   thank you so much you are absolutely right! There is a lot to be positive about.  Dr Google a big mistake. I have also recovered really well. Start on 13th March so not too long. 

    8 years, I bet it felt odd re visiting the letters!!!!!! 

    Thanks again. Will reel myself in! 

    Sending best wishes xx

  • It looks like we’re on the same road.
    I was told grade 2, no nodes before the op only to find it’s stage 3 with 3 nodes.  
    I think I start chemo on 18/03 but am waiting for confirmation.  I have yet to see a consultant as it’s been specialist nurses and the oncology registrar along the way which has made me anxious.  The nurses are lovely and kind but my preference is for capable and factual so am paying to see a consultant oncologist privately for a second opinion on the treatment plan.  

    Amazing you’ve done 10,000 steps - I’m nowhere near near that yet.  

    Good luck x

  • Ah yes v similar path! The nodes are a blow but picking myself up again! I was also labouring under the illusion bowel cancers are lazy but turns out mine was an aggressive little house guest! So that's thrown me.

    10,000 steps a first today, partly driven by trying to sort my head out. Rest assured I was knackered and slept for 2 hours after RoflRofl!

    Good luck with consultation, I totally understand the need to get that second opinion. Capox for me, 4 cycles Grimacing.

    Best wishes xx

  • Hi Arial88,

    My friend's sister went through this last year. She coped well with her operation and they followed it up with 4 months of chemotherapy. She was told she was cancer free after her operation but because of the type of cancer she had, they decided that it would be a wise precaution. She got through that and has recovered well. Willing you on. x

  • Thank you that's so good to hear. I think I have too much thinking time! 

    I hope you are doing ok?

    Xx

  • Had my pre operation assessment this morning. All went well. Just waiting on a date now. I have been told that it will be soon. 

    Now I just want to get through the next step. X

  • Great news. I felt just the same, couldn't wait to get it done! Hoping you hear very soon. Xx