Hi my husband has recently finished his mop up chemo following a successful removal of a tumour in his colon. You would have thought having gone through all this that things would be improving but they aren’t. He’s had a tough couple of weeks of really bad sickness and diarrhoea and let himself get dehydrated but that thankfully has now stopped. His speech had become slow and he is a bit confused, repeating himself and generally talking nonsense sometimes. This too has improved but his levels of anger are on the increase. Following an incident at home on the weekend I’m so upset I really don’t recognise this man. He had a doctors appointment last week but nothing was really discussed. I know he is frustrated because he’s not back to full strength but I’m looking for some reassurance that this is normal as this isn’t something I can see discussed anywhere.
Hi Curlyjo65 and I’m sending you a big hug to start with. Could you perhaps book another GP appointment to discuss the talking nonsense and anger issues? I’m not sure how old your husband is but it could point towards a urine infection or something like dementia? Cancer is tough mentally and physically and it’s frustrating to not feel to be improving but it does take time and patience.
I’ve attached a link to a paper about life after cancer which may help. There’s also a few members on a long running thread who I’m sure won’t mind you joining in as they too can sometimes be on the receiving end of their hubby’s frustration.
Bowel cancer CARERS, FAMILY & FRIENDS chat
Take care
Karen x
Hi Curlyjo
I had colorectal cancer in 2017... tumour removed no chemo....in 2023 I had Chemoradio for another, unrelated, cancer. Treatment was a tough gig and at times my wife got the brunt of my frustrations, anger and mood changes....pain meds had a fair bit to do with it, challenging time physically and mentally for patients and their carers, things should improve...the subject should be discussed with your oncology team and GP...Macmillan offer a counselling service.
As for strength? it takes time to recover...one year on from Chemoradio fatigue still hits unexpectedly.
Peter
Hi Curlyjo65,
I would echo Kareno62’s comment re infection, which might be linked to his dehydration. Dehydration in itself can cause confusion and similar symptoms, which might explain some of your husband’s behaviour.
I don’t mind admitting having cancer has made me angrier with the world and probably a bit more short tempered but I generally don’t let it spill over into my personal relationships, especially those with close family members. Living with cancer takes an emotional toll on all those affected by it so try and get some help for both of you.
Stay strong.
Maninbath
I start my chemo tomorrow but I've found emotional regulation quite difficult since I got diagnosed. I get really angry at stupid things and really emotional too.
I was really angry for a while at how my life had changed and how I couldn't do the things the way i used to. It took me a while to get my head around it and come to some sort of peace with it.
I know I've found it really helpful reaching out to talk to people. I think there is help out there for the families too. Hope you and your husband manage to get some help. Being able to verbally unload on someone has been hugely beneficial to me.
Are his bloods getting monitored ? Dehydration can easily knock off electrolytes and cause a who range of issues . Did they know about the confusion ?
As others said some things need to be ruled out to make sure it’s a mental health aspect and not a different clinical need .
His GP can assist too . Please don’t sit on it as he may need some help .
Court
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