My Dad 66yr old with bowel cancer stage 4 with liver mets

Oh dear dear Jules.  I read your first message and smiled.  So please you were contacting us due to the olympics and not that dreaded cancer.  It made me smile because at the moment I am in Spain and escaping the whole thing.  Although now I wish we had made an effort to get tickets and actually gone to see something.  it looks amazing and very proud to be British.  

I then read your second post and gasped out loud.  How unfair can life be. Why you and why such a similar cancer to your dad.  I really have no words so express how sorry I am to hear your news and I am sure that if the love that is sent to you from everyone on here could make your father in law better he would be cured immediately.  I am so pleased to hear about your mum and how she is managing. 

Sometimes I am sure it is harder for the people who are not without the loved one 24/7.  Both me and my boys have somehow managed so well and continued with our lives amazingly well.  However friends and family who associate us with Alex have found it very hard to see us because it reminds them of the person who is missing.  We have had to deal with that from day one and everyday since.

I really don't know what to say to help you but we are always here for you.  I am going to private message you with my email and if you are on facebook maybe we can link up there as I find this site quite depressing and difficult to navigate.

I will add a quick update.  In september I have my 25th wedding anniversay the first without Alex and then on the 24th it is a year since we lost him.  I'm not sure what I will do on either day but I know I will get through it somehow.  I am trekking across the Sahara in October for the hospice which helped so much towards the end of Alex life and I just want to thank them for what they did.

I am also seeing someone who is lovely and so caring and understanding.  Some people are so pleased and some find it awkward but I really don't care because it is my business and nobody elses.  I didn't plan it like this but it's nice at the moment.

So Jules. I will message you and hopefully we will keep in touch.  I hope that everyone else who reads this thread is well including Ann, Tuesday, Court and everyone else.

Love Jacqui

Hi all, and thank you Kate and Jacqui...  Kate, so sorry that you lost your hubby, which seemed so quick in the end.  You sound like Mum and Dad, been together for ever... I send my love to you and hope you have a lot of support around you and can find a smile somewhere xxx

Yes very ironic that I felt the need to touch base with my friends on this site, to get the unexpected 'Cancer Diagnosis'  later that evening with Brian...  here's an update on Brian's cancer it is cancer of the duodenum. I'm sure you remember Magda and her lovely Gregory, it's the same cancer as Gregory had. It's a rare cancer, and original prognosis didn't look great at all. But after scans etc, we have found out that it's only in the one area, because the duodenum is connected to the stomach the tumour is present in the stomach, but by all accounts is able to be operated on! It is going to be a complex operation but there does seem to be light at the end of the tunnel which is just great news. He is booked in this Thurs for a specialist app/post opp and the operation is al scheduled for next Tues, so things are moving fast which is exactly what we want! We told our kids the other night, and that was awful. But we just explained the truth, that with the operation and then possible treatment then there is no reason that Grandad shouldn't be cancer free... so we are going with that ... and remaining possitive as there is so many positives to go with, and of course cross the other bridge if we have too, but hopefully not.

We are heading up to see them on Thurs as we live 2 1/2 hours away.  Very hard at times like this!  But looking forward to seeing them all.  I hope everyone else is doing ok and send my love to you all xxxx

Hi Jules,

I have been on holiday and was able to read your news on my husband's phone but it would not let me send a message.

I was trying so hard to get in touch to suggest getting a second surgical opinion, and here on my return there is some great news. I am delighted that this is a possibility. This is so very hard for you all and I do remember Magda well and hope she is doing ok too. I hope your father in laws surgery goes smoothly and he has a very quick recovery.

We are loving the olympics and have noted some of your participants too! I love watching the rowing! I need the rules of the cycling explained each event.

We managed to get a fantastic photo of the dolphins leaping out the water. Enjoyed the kayaking and cycling on holiday but have two high children to wrestle to bed tonight. Any suggestions welcome. I will email you the photos and some of the 70 th. Wish this site would allow photos.

Jackie great to hear from you and look forward to hearing how your treak goes. You continue to enjoy everything this life has to offer. We know only too well the pain you and your boys went through. Wish you all well.

much love,

Court

Hi all, and thanks Court for your message.  I would love to see some photo's of your Mum's 70th! Maybe you could email them to be when you get a chance?  That would be lovely.

Well my father in law is in having his 'Whipple' operation as we speak.  Sounds very complex, but the fact that they can hopefully cut all of the BIG C out is so worth it.  I will keep you updated, but sounds as though the opp and recovery can be a very long haul, but as I said sounds all worth it in the long run!

Hope all else is going ok with everyone x

Hi Jules 

I am in the same situation as your mom , its not nice to hear that your cancer as gone to stage 4 , it can't be cured but can be managed but I feel like I can't take anymore treatment but having said that I want more quality if life and I am not getting that with my symptoms its possibly down to Chemo , I have Neourapathy which effects the nerves which in turn causes pain . I am having pain relief which is helping a lot but not completely.  Just recently had another scan 2 weeks ago to see what's going on . So I have come on here to share and hopefully get answers If any of  you guys are happy to chat 

Jimbobs 

Hi 

I would love if Jules popped on as she was one of the first people I connected with on here ! But the thread is about 11 years old ! I am going to speak to admin as the search function gives the older threads first and I think the newer ones would be better so you could connect better with people !

I understand what you said about balancing out the quality of life aspects and being hit with more issues from the symptoms of the actual cancer !

I am not sure if you have been referred to the Pain clinics in the NHS . They are ran by anaesthesiologist and they are really good at dealing with breakthrough pain ! 
If your pain was addressed better would you wish to stay off treatment ? 
Thinking of you !

Court 

Hi. I was on here 10 years ago with Jules and we had some lovely chats. I’m still friends with her on FB. She lives in NZ so not sure if she will come on here anymore. 

I was here because my husband had bowel cancer with liver mets at stage 4. 
Happy to help with any questions but some things such as treatments have changed. 
take care everyone 

hash x

Hello  

Were you “ Jash “ back then? If so I remember you well ! 
If you are in touch with Jules please tell her I still think of her fondly! I think the people we initially connect with we remember quite vividly!

This thread has brought a lot back to me ! Believe it or not 12 years later after lots of resections my mum is still here ! Jules dad was 66 and my mum was 67 ! She will be 80 next year !

So lovely to see you post ! I hope your family are all well  , was it two boys ? I had a moment when I read a previous post wrestling two young boys to bed , now grown men !

Take care ,

Court 

Oh gosh. I’ve also had notifications about this thread over the last few days. Brings it all back. Terry had stage 4b diagnosed in July 2010. After 9 years, the cancer finally spread to his brain. But he managed 9 really good years with surgery and chemo etc punctuating our lives at ever increasing intervals  

I think about those days, chatting on here and the support from everyone. Thinking of you all.

Hello 

Fantastic to see your name pop up too !

So glad Terry had nine good years ! That’s incredible!  
Lots of support went on in this thread !

Thinking of you too and hope your doing ok !

Much love ,

Court