My Dad 66yr old with bowel cancer stage 4 with liver mets

Hi everyone,

I'm just testing at the moment.  We had a new member - Rhiannon27- join the group.  I had email notification of her post but it has not appeared.  I wanted to reply to her, so, Rhiannon, if this appears and you see it would you re-send your post.

I do hope that all makes sense to someone!

Lots of love

Ann x

PS Jules, you havn't time to be fiddling around on here, get your washing and ironing done!  Hope Mum is ok, yours sounds just grand Court.

xx

Hello to all,

I am new to all this and I hope you dont mind me posting on this thread, 

My Mum was diagnosed 6 months ago with stage 4 bowel cancer, her tumor is like a spiders web from her colon to her rectum and she has lung mets. 

She has been through chemo 5fu and centuximub and is now recieving radiotherapy as well as chemo tabs. The consultant doesnt want to operate as he doesnt believe in operating apparently theres no guarenteeing with any tumor you can remove it all so these other courses of treatments are always better. this is all the info i have as my mum has kept me in the dark about it all and she is in denial about it all. She put it across to me like it was completely curable and would be better in a few months. obviously after doing my own research (without sounding to negative) I have been informed this isnt the case. Is there any hope?

I feel very alone, sad angry and unsure about the future.

I hope everyone else is doing well 

all my love

rhi 

xx

Right, we have a problem.  I have reported it to admin. Rhiannon so hopefully they will find out what is happening to your posts.  Meanwhile I will have a stab at replying to you.

I think your  Mum is either not taking in the information she is being given (my husband is like that, he just switches off) or she is not telling you the full story.

I have never heard of a surgeon "not believing" in operating, it's their job!  The probable reason is that, at the moment, he can't operate.  I really don't think there is much of a chance of a cure with chemo alone.  Did you mention Palliative care in your first post?  Palliative care is designed to keep things under control for as long as possible and to control pain etc.  It sounds, at the moment, as if she is having palliative chemo and radiotherapy. Has she had any scans since treatment started?

I'm sorry your Mum is not keeping you informed.  She is probably trying to protect you, doesn't want you worrying!    Does she go to her appointments on her own?  The problem is unless she says you can be involved I don't think anyone will tell you anything.  The only thing you can do is talk to her and explain that by keeping you in the dark your mind is racing with all kinds of scenarios and that you would far rather know the truth so you can help her through it.

Jules and Court are the girls for you, they both have experience of parents with cancer.  Maybe they will be able to give you some tips.

Take care

Love

Ann xx

Hi Ann,

Thank you so much for you reply, Im not sure if im replying correctly as to why the post didnt work properly. I have just been cicking on reply to the last post then posting. Is that correct?

I would like to say that my heart goes out to everyone on here and can only hope things get better for us all.

I think your right and its a bit of both shes not taking it all in and keeping things from me too. We dont know how big the tumor is as she doesnt want to know the results after the chemo showed is has halved in size although we still have no idea of its size all we know is that its like a spiders web that goes from her colon to her rectum. There has been no mention of palliative care as far as I know but this is where my confusion stems from as apparently the consultant has said that he hopes not to operate if it shrinks enough as the chemo will kill it. This goes against all the info I have read and can only assume like you say that the treatment they are providing is palliative. But perhaps as its only been 6 months they dont want to make that decision yet!!

I just dont know and Im in limbo.

I have tried talking to mum and its apparent she doesnt want to know herself so this makes it difficult as shes not asking the questions and Im getting what little info she gets second hand. she has allowed my sister into her appointments so I have got some information through her.

I hope your having a good day

Love

Rhi x

Welcome Rhiannon,

If we can be of any help, just ask. It is good news that her tumour responded to chemo and that is a major plus. If you are concerned you could  talk to your mum about a second opinion. Some surgeons are more specialised than others. This can be arranged through the NHS . It can also help get more information.

Wishing you well,

Love Court

Lost for words eh Jules!   x

Anyone know whats going on!! I see a locked post!! Do we have imaginary friends. Not experienced this before. Seemed genuine . Oh well. Get back to us Jules if you can find the words.HEE.

Love Court

Hey Jules,

There is definitely a problem with this thread.  Rhiannons posts would not "take" and now you are having problems.  I will report it to Admin.  see if they can come up with an answer.

Ann xx