Bowel cancer CARERS, FAMILY & FRIENDS chat

Helen did you manage to get to see the doctor about antidepressants.  How is Paul and how are you managing.  I was just thinking about you when I picked up my iPhone.  Sending you hugs xx

Hi everyone

Hope everyone is doing okay. I haven’t been on here for a while as work has been a bit all-consuming. I’ve got a couple of days off over the weekend so will catch up on messages and also provide an update on things at my end. From a very quick look, it looks like there has been quite a bit of bad news. I’ll catch up properly over the coming days but in the meantime send my condolences and my love to you all.

Matt x

Hi Matt.  When’s they did your dads liver op did they take out his gallbladder. How long was he in for and what is best to take in hospital.  Also did they let you see him after the op xx

Hi I had a phone appointment with doctor today and now have antidepressants to take. I sobbed through the whole appointment but at least I was able to tell him how I was feeling. Paul has been in horrendous pain and unable to even get out of bed. Jo his wife who he is separated from - can’t live together can’t live apart came to my rescue and has taken him to her house where he is being assessed by palliative care daily until a bed is available at the hospice. I just couldn’t cope anymore  with it all and it coming up to a year next week since I lost Kevin just felt overwhelmed. Sally and her husband went and cut his grass and took stuff down to Jo’s house and I have a more calm day and able to potter about. Will see how I go with these new tablets and the councelling, and hope things don’t get any worse

Helen x

Yes, they took out his gallbladder too. I think that it’s quite common for them to do so partly for logistics but also because my dad had gallstones. He wasn’t in for too long in the end. His op was on 26 July and we took him home on the evening of 31 July. They did let us see him briefly shorty after the op while he was still in recovery (it was late and in the end they didn’t transfer him to the intensive care unit - that ended up working out quite well as it meant that he was being monitored quite closely all night and then went straight to the ward the following day). They also kindly let me in to see him early the following morning (as I had to leave early to go and collect my wife and daughter who I’d left on holiday). I’ll ask my folks what they found useful to have at the hospital. If you or Les want to talk to them about it, I’m sure they would be happy for you to do so. I wouldn’t want to post their contact details on here, but don’t mind posting mine on here and you could then get in touch with me that way and I can share their details (not sure whether that’s really supposed to happen but just in case it’s helpful for you to speak with someone that’s been through it).

Helen I am so pleased you were able to get through to the doctors and told him everything. The antidepressants will take about two weeks to get into your system depending on which one you have. One whole year that has gone so quick. I am so sorry to hear that Paul is not doing well.  I hope you get some rest while he is at his wife’s.  Gosh I can’t imagine what you are feeling or going through right now. Let us hope a bed is available soon fit him to get sorted out with the pain,  huge hugs. 

matt we have to stay anonymous on here unfortunately.  He has to be in for 7 in the morning on Tuesday.  Was it a Tuesday when your dad went in for his op. I seem to be packing but the kitchen sink. I don’t want to over pack I just want what is essential and best for him. Than you it would be great if you could let me know.  

big hugs to all xx

It was a Wednesday when my dad went in. I’ve asked what was useful and he says that he didn’t really take a lot - some toiletries, some comfy, loose-fitting pyjamas, dressing gown, slippers and his i-pad and something to read to keep him occupied.

Thank you Matt. I have our 5 pairs of pyjamas, his book, some tee shirts as he does spill his food. Does he need his own towel and money x

My dad says that he took his own towel. He can’t remember whether or not they provided towels that he could have used but felt more comfortable using his own anyway. And he took some money but suggested not taking too much as there wasn’t really anyway hugely safe to store stuff (just bedside cabinet).

Thank you so much Matt.  My daughter from Australia is on her way home and staying with at the jesmond dene for a few nights. She has been in air about 7 hours now. I was not going to tell Les but he tried ringing her this ,morning so I told him. I think he was really chuffed.  Hugs to your family xx